Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Starbucks Rage

Trying to make a Starbucks run for work nearly set me off this morning. I pulled into the packed parking lot and waited for a spot that was about to open up. As soon as it does, some woman in a mini van also backs out blocking me from pulling in. Meanwhile a Nissan Z3000 something or other pulls into my spot. I say screw it and go to park on a side street only to have someone pull up right behind me making parallel parking impossible. Then I got all turned around on the asinine streets of Atlanta. Many profanities later I found a spot about a quarter mile away and said fuck it and parked. Starbucks as an establishment makes me nauseous but also stresses me out. I don't know these ridiculous drinks everyone wants and I'm afraid I'll come back with screwed up, over priced liquid so being in line just further aggravated my condition. If this was real life GTA and my mission was to kill as many hipsters as possible, I hit the jackpot in Little Five Points. I'd like to think I'd get a bonus if I choked them all with their scarves. 

As I waited for the order to be filled I relaxed and thought "if this is the hardest thing I have to do all day then I'm pretty spoiled". There are some cities that are super cool but only if you forgo driving. Maybe that should be a new law -  make it illegal to drive in major cities. But if you make cars illegal, then only assholes will have cars or something like that. The good news is I got over my little tantrum without having to have someone kick my ass and I had a fairly tasty peppermint hot chocolate. For everyone's saftey please keep crowded parking lots, hipsters and Starbucks out of my way. 

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