When most people find out I'm still sleeping in my car with the cold weather they serve up some version of "you're hard core but nuts". Here's a free tip for all you softies - get a skiing jacket for like $60, some blankets and you'll be fine. I've slept outside when it was 14 degrees and woke up well rested sans frostbite using that gear. I probably am capable of putting up with a lot more adverse circumstances than most people due to my childhood. There was the time my brother and I had to shovel the snow off our 900' long driveway, or the time I had to haul 5 gallon buckets of water 200 yards in the Connecticut, October night, or the time I stood there holding a work lamp as my father covered up the decking on the first floor of their house for winter all the while snow is falling and melting on my uninsulated rubber boots. Yeah, those were the days.
Calling back to my earlier post about my daughter playing soccer, it seems like you have to be forced to go through hard shit to be tough. I was listening to a podcast (Radiolab) about Kenyan runners and how scientists have tried to determine the cause of one small village's unprecedented athletic ability. The podcast guests surmised that while there may be some genetic advantages, it's most likely due to the heinous coming of age ritual where they are forced to crawl naked through stinging nettles, are beaten with sticks and circumcised with a pointed stick all the while not flinching less they be cast out.
A debate still continues in my mind over God vs no god and here's why. I can't completely accept evolution because where did the matter come from first of all but secondly, childhood is one of the worst defects of humanity. So much can fuck you up as a child that you have no control over that you would think somehow we would have evolved to a point beyond that. Maybe we will get to that point or maybe its a stupid argument in the first place however if there is a god then I have to come back to - he's kind of a dick. Who says "I'm going to create beings with feelings and life long memory but with the option of being great hedged by the fact that you have to endure a lot of misery to attain it"? It's nuts right?
I know all suffering doesn't have to be emotionally painful but a good portion of it is. The hardcore believers will probably say that this is all due to the fall but I have a hard time accepting that either because then humans would have a fairly pointless life by everyone being on the same plane. Apparently suffering and the drive to overcome it are what make life interesting. You hear about geniuses killing themselves because they are bored with life so maybe I should "rejoice in my sufferings". That all being said, explain then how Heaven, a place devoid of suffering, will not actually be tormenting.
I still have no idea how to raise strong "hardcore" adults while minimizing mental anguish but I guess time will tell if I found am alternative. As for the rest of life, fuck it, I'm where I am and I'll think about my existential crisis later.
*I don't run my car all night or at all during the night : )