Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Don't Bullshit a Bull (they have horns)

Earlier today I was informed by a friend that "I'll never be punk" in response to a Facebook post I made apologizing for making a profanity laced diatribe against law enforcement a few days earlier. I don't apologize unless I'm wrong and most of the time I don't need someone else to tell me I need to straighten out since I'm my own worst critic. I do my best to see all sides and give everyone equal consideration but  unfortunately it tends to alienate a lot of people. I'm too honest to be "against the establishment" because I believe that something good can be derived from almost anything but I'm also too rebellious to be mainstream. A month or two back I wrote a post called No Country for Honest Men where I tried to creatively express this no mans land in between the social worlds. I'm not going to rehash that post but instead will talk about bullshitting.

There's the phrase "don't bullshit a bullshitter" (I love you Jane Lynch) but why bullshit anyone? Bullshitters should only bullshit each other because turnabout is fair play. I could list a bunch of reasons why people lie but it boils down to one of two things: either you are a controlling sociopath or you are a ho and to quote Jay-Z "not in the sense of having a pussy but a pussy having no goddamn sense..." (translation: spineless idiot). Lying to people is stupid because as we were probably all told as children, once you make up one lie you almost always are going to have to make more to cover it up. On top of creating a cycle of lies, you aren't doing anyone any good. If you think it's rude to tell the truth, I'll break it down for you.

Claiming to be an honest person doesn't give you carte blanche to share you opinions and feelings whenever and wherever you feel like it. Someone said "the only time you should give an opinion is when it's asked for or in a life and death situation". Obviously there are circumstance where the asking is implied such as in a business meeting where collaboration is expected. The next point is delivery - intention and reality are two completely different animals. Someone may ask for your opinion on their latest piece of art work for instance. If you simply don't care for it you can say "it's not my style but you did a good job." If the piece is technically bad a good response is "I like what you were going for but I think your xyz needs a little work." Those are obviously way better than replying "I think my 4 year old could have done better." All these responses may hurt feelings but at least the first two are constructive and somewhat encouraging at the same time. What are you going to do if you lie and say you liked it and then they try to give it to you expecting to see it hanging up in your house when they come to visit? Most of this boils down to have tact, common sense and backbone.

In the movie Jack Ryan - Shadow Recruit a Russian businessman tells Jack "you Americans think of yourselves as direct. Perhaps you are just rude." Jack replies "You Russians like to think you're poets but perhaps you're just touchy". Just because it's how a culture works doesn't mean it's right and if someone get's their feelings hurt because I tried to deliver the truth with the above guidelines in mind, I don't really give a shit. I would rather someone tell me the truth if I ask "am I fucking up?" For them to try and spare my feelings does me no good. I don't have a ton of friends but those that I do have appreciate the fact that they know I will give them an honest answer if they ask me a question. Life is short and none of us have time to waste on false information. To finish this somewhat offensive post I'll quote the bible "speak the truth in love".

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