Friday, May 30, 2014

I Ain't Trying to Rush Nothing...Cause I Ain't Russian

My life has taken some unexpected yet delightful turns recently but it has caused me to think a lot. I have fought my entire life against feeling on the verge of decimation through one bad decision or misjudgment of me by someone else. I wanted to feel like I had a safe place that no matter what happened, I would be okay. While I think it is natural to look for relationships where someone understands you, putting that kind of expectation on another person is dangerous. Obviously people will disappoint you at times (whether intentionally or not) but it comes out of need which is never healthy for any relationship. Fear is the driving force behind needy people and many times haste and poor choices follow getting you into bad situations or pushing good people away. 

In the last couple years I've been accepting that as they say in show biz "the show must go on" and it does. You can get knocked down but unless you are dead, you can pick yourself back up and keep going. We don't need other people to validate us or make us feel safe - that should come from inside ourselves. Instead of rushing to try and feel safe now I'm taking one day at a time knowing that yes, I am vulnerable to hurt, but I will be okay no matter what happens. I ain't trying to rush nothing cause I ain't Russian. отлично чувак

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