Friday, October 17, 2014

Head On: Apply Directly to Your Life

Last Saturday I received a text asking if I wanted to take a job for Monday which was great since I had nothing booked. However the job was in a position I've talked about before that I have found extremely stressful. Unfortunately my weekend was spent wigging out about Monday and on the drive in I had so much anxiety that I considered turning around and going home but stubbornness prevailed. I don't know when I developed this philosophy but at some point in my adult life I decided that if I was stressed out by a job, then there was probably a defect in me that needed to be addressed. Running from the issue never works because it's going to come up at some other point in another job or life in general. Thankfully the day went well and I am now working in the same capacity for the next few months (unless of course I'm fired lol). 

This really successful man wrote in a book how he was taught growing up that you can't be a success until you've been fired at least three times. While I don't completely agree that the actual firing is necessary, the attitude of being okay with it is important. I waited this entire week to post because I was skeptical of my own growth but my girlfriend commented today that I seem way more relaxed and happy. I realized as the week has passed that I have felt like a failure most of my life because I've always believed I was capable of something great but have never come close to even being moderately successful. The thought of failing again, in front of a bunch of people was almost paralyzing but I dont see myself as weak so I decided to act on what I believe and not what I felt. I want to be one of those guys who charges into the face of an oncoming marauding horde armed only with a sharpened stick because fuck it, I might win and if not at least it made for a good story and I didn't get taken out lying down. Kind of a Jack Churchill type of guy 
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/churchill.html. In addition to being more relaxed in general, this job forces me to focus which is hard for my mind that is always going all over the place. In a way it's like meditation. 

If you don't run from your issues but stand and face them, they may crush you for a bit until you learn where they derive their power. They are energized by your hurts and insecurities and when you shut down the generator, you can kick the monsters ass. 

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