Saturday, November 15, 2014

Grace

This past week I have been struggling with a lot of things in my mind and per my usual MO I analyzed it so hard my brain began to hurt. Unfortunately for all my analyzing I couldn't seem to quiet the demon's screams echoing inside my head and instead just lost a lot of sleep. Hungry and with my head pounding I set out a half hour ago to grab some food from Checkers. Sitting in the parking lot I started thinking how disgusting the food I was shoveling into my face was and it hit me - my problem is that I wasn't being grateful. Instead of focusing on the positive things, I had let negativity take front and center stage which made everything feel like a colossal weight. This set off a chain reaction of fear and self-loathing because I was afraid of anything that might add to the negativity and felt powerless to stop it. Almost immediately when I decided to be grateful for what I had, I could feel an almost immediate change in my body and mind and the weight has lifted considerably. 

A few weeks ago I was with my children and heard one of them say "who's going to pray for the food? (Pause...silence) okay I'll do it" and proceeded to rattle of a thanks that sounded like a preceded message. When they were finished with the obligatory grace I asked if they knew why they pray before meals. Not being in agreement with the religion they are learning but not wanting to directly attack what their mother is teaching them, I chose to handle it outside the religious spectrum. I explained that the whole point of saying "grace" was so that you stop and remember to be grateful otherwise it's a pointless ritual. Regardless of whether there is a god to thank, I think stopping before meals to reflect on gratefulness is a good idea for everyone. Gratefulness is like putting a Black Satin or BS filter rendering the unattractive beautiful again. 

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