Thursday, February 19, 2015

Stay As Long As You Can

Decades spent alone pacing to keep warm, a cold and austere room - my home.
The sun my only visitor, 
Who waved hello, when at irregular intervals she broke through cloud covered skies. 
Each exchange only brief,
Yet memories I held dear,
Believing one day the clouds would part forever, or vanish by degrees. 
Paradise finally reached. 

One morning I woke and streaming in, unsquelched rays caressed every corner,
Banishing gloom and sadness, warming life inside my bones. 
My muscles at last relaxed, untensed, no longer bearing the burden of cold, I'm every fiber.
Day by day I grew more accustomed, unsure how I lived before. 

When one day, eyes closed, basking, 
I felt a cloud pass by, 
The red glow upon my retina faded, as dark visions crept into my mind. 
Adapted to peace and comfort, I feared I could no longer play my former role. 
Panic broke like a howling wind unleashed upon my soul. 

Leaping up I drew the shutters which protested, never before put to use. 
Shutting out the light I declared my good fortune depleted. 
For it seemed much better to limit my world, than ride the sea of another's freedom to choose. 
Better to steel myself now after this temporary diffusion, 
Than bear the shock of light to dark, transformed in an instant, no warning, no clues. 
Easier to abandon hope altogether than hold on to faith in you - behind the clouds you still are there, trying to make it through.

Yet through the slats, gold still spilled, it seemed a foolish thing to waste,
Thin lines of light before me, reminded what still could be - joy mine to claim. 
The future is uncertain, foretelling beyond my grasp,  
But the present I had chosen, for no reason save fear - fear the gloom may be worse having tasted heaven for a spell, 
If ever I am cast off again, to my former hell. 

Who knows their strength till tested? 
Character uncertain unless tried.
The light I feared would leave, had provided what I needed to survive. 
Every encounter however short illuminated my very soul, revealing a man who could carry on no matter what befall. 

Tearing the shutters from the wall, I invited the sun - remain. 
"You may have to go, this I accept, possibly never to return, but for now please stay - stay as long as you can."

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