Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Trust

On lunch break today I read a Huffington Post article about how men do not trust women and I had to admit the piece held a lot of truth. Through my journey I've come to understand a few things one of which being - humans are fundamentally insecure. Men distrust women because they know deep down that they cannot control a female heart. 

A lack of trust either manifests in oppression and abuse or skepticism, bitterness and lack of fairness. Love cannot be bought or owned: It's a choice, a gift - offered moment by moment. Most guys are actually afraid under all the bravado the project to hide a weakness - we hate being alone. 

In the bible it says that God decided it wasn't good for man to be alone so he made women. No! This was just a story conjured up because a man was ashamed of being lonely. People talk about men's insecurity "dick measuring contest" etc, as if it's an issue without a specific cause. Rarely does anyone ever touch on what men are insecure about preventing the issue from being dealt with. Thanks to the Internet it is much harder to ignore the injustices in the world. Confronted with irrefutable evidence we are starting to feel guilty and feebly attempting to change. 

Many guys have taken to calling themselves feminists because they have empathy. The thing is, you aren't a fucking feminist unless you have addressed your own shit and can treat every woman as if she were an ethereal experience, not something to be conquered and owned. I like the concept of feminism - women being respected as an equal being on this planet but I bristle when I hear men apply that label to themselves. Why? Because it seems disingenuous. Am I a feminist? Not yet. I aspire to be (and would say I'm almost there) but I'm still working it out. Males claiming feminism feels off because like I said earlier today good people don't go around announcing they are good. I have a feeling that when I finally am a feminist, I won't have to tell anyone - they will just know. The scene from GI Jane comes to mind where she claims she isn't in the program to make a statement and is set straight with "if you were like everyone else we wouldn't be making statements about not making statements."

For years I wanted to know that if I found someone to love and be love by, they would never leave. It's what marriage has been about for generations: a guarantee that is difficult and in some cases fatal to break (depending on where you happen to live). Now I've begun to see relationships differently.  Men need to quit mistreating the wonderful gift that is the female because they can't admit they are vulnerable and expecting something unhealthy out of a woman.

You can't have trust when you are afraid - that's called gambling. When you are satisfied with yourself the fear goes because you know that no matter what happens, you will still be okay. At that point trust becomes obsolete, traded in for the euphoria of an equal but opposite partnership. Cohabiting the same space in time not because you're vamping their energy, but because alone you are DC and together you're AC - a wave of immense value, transforming to what the present requires. 

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