Thursday, April 30, 2015

Krog Street Moses

After a somewhat stressful 14 hour day of work, the gate on the parking garage we used for parking today decided to quit functioning. We were trapped unless the first car finally said fuck it and drove through it (highly unlikely, the driver looked rather meek). After sitting in the que for about 15 minutes I decided I had had enough. Striding down the ramp with the distinctive air of a pissed off, possibly high grip (all interchangeable synonyms for each other) I mean mugged the locations rep and security guard blowing past to the gate. It had gigantic flat head + alan wrench screws - but flathead, I can work with that. "I'm taking the fucking thing off" I announced to who, I'm not exactly sure but it just seemed appropriate to give someone the opportunity to object. The security guard shot the locations guy a look as I headed back to get my tools - "is he serious?"

Yeah, I'm fucking serious. 

A couple people offered to help and one woman ended up assisting. At first I didn't think I was going to have a flat head big enough but I popped the first screw out as Mr. Security Guard talked to presumably his boss on a cell phone. 

"Yeah, they have probably forty cars stuck in here". 

Scre four pops and we wrench the bar free. My coworker walks off with the bar as if it was the final piece of the Berlin Wall. I pack up my shit and head back up the ramp to my car. "Be free" I proclaim as if I'm Moses. I may have even raise my arms up, my memory is a little foggy of that part. Immediately I thought "that was fucking stupid". As I passed the six or seven cars before mine, everyone cheered and waved their arms in the air. If you had been there you may have heard "grips rule" come out of my mouth, further ruining the moment. Honestly I felt kind of embarrassed by the attention. I mean what had I really done? Only what anyone with chutzpah and a give-a-fuck meter on empty would do - drop the goddamn barrier. 

As I pulled out I got the impression I might have upset the guard. I said "take it easy" as I pulled out clocking a completely bewildered look on the locations dudes face. "Take it easy he says" the security guard says scoffing. 

I am taking it easy, with a beer (or two..or three) at the Earl - because I kind of fucking deserve it. I am the Krog Street Moses. 

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