I locked my side door this morning when I went to take a shower telling myself "I'm not paranoid, I just wouldn't want my dog to get out if someone opened the door trying to break in..." okay so I don't want my shit to get stolen as well if I'm being honest, but really - I'm not that attached to any material objects, it's mostly about the dog... a break in the observation of thought and then it hit me, I (and most of humanity) do not like sudden change. We want to slowly wade into the pool to acclimate instead of getting thrown in. Even slight changes in "one small area of life" have ripple effect into the rest of life and the universe. What you choose to focus on defines what you see - no brainer; however, most people don't realize that that applies to every action and choice they make whereby a different object of vision inherently brings about shifts in everything.
This leads back to the main goal of many humans: maintain the status quo. Keeping things the way they are is perceived as imperative to avoiding pain and suffering because we allow external things to define us as something quite set in stone. It's like our ego is a Jenga tower comprised of many things and relationships stacked upon each other, precariously balanced on the sole block at the bottom - your unwitting awareness. Each of the unexpected things that knock down our towers are Life shaking you awake to the reality - what and who you have believed yourself and life to be are all superfluous.
Losing is necessary for winning and both are matters of perspective. When you go with the flow, there is no losing or winning; only a permanent state of transfer. Being stripped of the illusory blanket of story you have wrapped yourself in, that list of set pieces and supporting actors you felt defined by - brings an awareness of your own awareness. No matter what happens and changes around you, you are still there, at the center. Accept this grounding awareness and you experience the river flowing around you, which also implies through you as you offer no resistance. A constant state of flow where there is no gain or loss simply experience of the ever present Now.