Thursday, May 28, 2015


She reached out over the sidewalk extending branches high and low as if offering a gift to any who would incline.

Leaves and flowers in various states of bloom all decorated with the lingering drops from a passing shower. 

The air humid, misty hung sweet with the fragrance offered by the beautiful Magnolia. 

She did not ask to be recognized or extolled. Disappointment would have been the reward more often than not if she had. 

Most pass on by without second thought for the effort she had taken to be - to be  beautiful for her own sake despite being taken for granted. 

Passing by I stopped and considered, then retraced my steps to press my nose into a flower almost spent as it gave freely for all to partake. 

I thanked her for the gift, for being true to her nature then continued on my way happier, having appreciated what had never asked to be. 

Sunday, May 24, 2015


When Elohim Lost His Marbles
By Deaglan Quinn © 2015

Chapter 1

Berrrrnt! Berrrrnt! Berrrnt! Through bleary eyes I looked at the clock. 1 AM? I thought I had set it for 8? Stupid hotel alarm clocks!  Annoyed I shut off the noise and lay back down to sleep. But sleep wouldn't come. The old mattress had a significant dip in the middle making it feel like an uncomfortable, stationary hammock. Usually the drone and chill of an AC unit will put me right out but tonight it felt more like bees buzzing around in my brain. Fuck it, I’ll just get up for a while.

It was chilly with the air set to “liquid nitrogen” so I threw on a shirt and began surfing the channels. With all the technology and talent available, it’s amazing how hard it is to find anything decent to watch (even more so at 1am). In all fairness to the content creators I was at that moment severely distracted by a tornado of thoughts and emotions. If I was screwing the most beautiful women in the world tonight, well I wouldn’t be able to do it tonight in all honesty because my mind is really fucked up.

Unable to find some quiet in the white noise of entertainment, I clicked off the display and sat for a while, knees drawn up to my chest with my arms wrapped around still clutching the remote in my right hand - there if I needed it. There wasn’t much else to do, except get up and go for a run or use my computer. With the seemingly infinite knowledge on the internet, surely there would be something to help me out. I crossed the room, wrapped in a blanket and sat down at the table next to the AC about to power my laptop up. Reaching over to turn the arctic circle, I thought, I came here to think and get away from all that shit. I need to figure out whether to go on or not.

By shit I mean my entire life. Growing up I had been indoctrinated with religious beliefs that were so insidious it crippled my entire life. When I was grown, I was set free on an aimless course that felt impossible to correct from once I realized I had made a mistake. I thought my purpose was to serve a God who seemed severe and contradictory and if I was lucky, I would find a little happiness, that, or die young. Married at 20, 4 children not many years after, life was spinning out of control. It felt like I was the base of an inverted human pyramid. You don’t want to do it anymore but you know if you drop, you’re taking everyone with you. Every single day felt like I was bobbing alone, in a dark sea of confusion and fear, waves constantly threatening to overtake and drown my pathetic existence. It was exhausting, stressful - hell, if I can be so bold. The only thing that kept my thinly stretched mind from snapping was holding on to a belief that God was out there watching and despite seeming to be a dick, He would come through eventually in the end...or I sure hoped so. Otherwise this was all for nothing and that wasn’t a reality I knew how to deal with.

About 5 few years ago, barely scraping by “trusting God to provide”, a reckless driver hit me while I was riding my bicycle to work. Due to my helmet coming off, both sides of my brain to a bit of a rattle with the left side being the worst. I had road rash on my scalp with a bald spot worn in my thick hair the size of a half dollar over my left ear. People say “I feel like I was hit by a truck”, Ha! Trust me, you don’t have a clue. Imagine that you are so sore in every part of your body that you cannot move to get comfortable. It’s like soaking in pain. The only way I could turn and move my head was to grab my hair and lift my skull like a crane repositioning it. Somehow I didn’t break a single bone despite being a human cannonball eating asphalt in the landing. That was highly bizarre.

For several months after the accident there was a persistent ringing in my ears but I also noticed that the fear and anxiety I had felt every day of my life disappeared. Before I worried about everything because I was afraid that if I screwed up one thing I would miss out on “the plan” or something like that. My parents don’t understand me so I felt like I always had to have my own back - I couldn’t expect anyone else to. Now having that feeling gone and living worry free for a few months was absolutely wonderful but as the ringing decreased, the anxiety returned; however, not quite as badly. It seemed that now, I had a bit of a leg up on the chaos. Maybe because I had a taste of peace. It’s only natural to ask yourself why did I survive when other people die from way less. It seemed really unfair. 2 years after the accident, an idea implanted itself in my mind. If God is harsh and unkind then I’m probably fucked (nor would I want to be a part of that). If He’s actually understanding and misrepresented then He will understand that what I’ve been taught doesn’t make sense to me and I’m just trying to figure it out...I suppose there is a possibility that He doesn’t even exist in which case none of this matters.

After ruminating on this for several months, I told my family that I was giving up God for a while. This was met with a collective gasp from everyone present with many “oh Lord Jesus, deliver his mind” type prayers being uttered. Friends, family, church members tried to show me in the bible how I was doing what was warned against and what if I committed the “unpardonable sin” in my apostasy damning myself to hell forever. It was a lot to listen to but as respectfully as possible, I told everyone to leave me alone. My wife was at first supportive but after a week or so told me that I needed to “decide to follow Jesus again or leave”.

We had never been in love, just together as a sense of religious duty and I thought maybe it was time to end that as well...but the kids… I was so afraid that they would think I didn’t love them and I only cared about myself. It ripped me apart as I walked out the door but I was doing it for them just as much as me. I wanted to be able to show them a life that was different than what I had known, one of joy, love and happiness, and I couldn’t do that in the controlling religious environment. Now on my own, I felt even more lost in the dark. Before when I ran up against something that I felt incapable of handling I would automatically pray and feel better because it was “out of my hands now”. The thing is nothing really ever happened from those prayers except to pacify my mind. I was going nowhere fast. Instead of praying now, I had to figure things out on my own. Slowly, painfully, I pushed onward and began to feel strength and confidence grow inside me. Kind of like discovering muscles you never knew you had.

Midway through the year I knew that I could never go back to living in the same house as the mother of my children. Despite being lonely and missing my children, I didn’t want to kill myself most days. Not holding to rules from a god anymore I filed for divorce and gave up nearly everything. Freedom would be worth it right? Eventually my children would see a different side of things and understand why I did this….

Being alone gives you a whole lot more free time and after the year without god was up, I decided to start a blog because for once in my life, I had something to talk about. There would be no going back to god now and if I could help just one other person with my experiences then I would feel like I had done some good with my life. During this time, the divorce was finalized, my ex-wife begged me to come back and repent right up to the end. She couldn’t understand why I would want to leave everything. “Are you gay?” She asked me once among other things. I think her not getting it was the most maddening part of the whole process. I don’t care about money or things. I did care about my kids though so I sort of bent over backwards to be free without a fuss and still be able to see them.

Many people in my religious community had known me and somehow my blog was discovered and shared throughout the religious interwebs. The internet blew up in a comment battle between atheists and the religious on my page. Things like “you fucking rock!” and “keep being you” came in as encouragement while the most hateful, evil attacks came from the religious ones. “You are hardening your heart and God will judge you more harshly for knowing the truth and walking away from it. Enjoy burning in Hell faggot! : )” That was a fairly common theme. “Are you gay? Why else would you leave your wife and god?” I suspected my ex might have started that one.

So why am I here now considering if I should end it? It’s not because I don’t believe in a god - wouldn’t care if the god in the bible was real: I would never serve him again because he’s an asshole. I’m here in this hotel room because my world was just shattered and I don’t know if I can do this anymore. 4 nights ago when I arrived home from work, I found a police car sitting in my driveway. Guess they are busting me for the pot...nah man stop being paranoid. Act cool. The officer looked grave which didn’t calm my nerves at all. He approached as I got out and closed my door. “Good evening sir. Can you confirm your identity?” I handed over my drivers license trying not to appear nervous as the whirlwind of thoughts continued. The officer passed the card back. “I’m terribly sorry to have to tell you this, but your children and their mother were all killed in a car accident today. Eyewitnesses say it looked like they swerved out of the way of a drunk driver which sent them off the road and into a tree. I’m really sorry.”

What did he just say? “I’m sorry what did you just say?” I asked completely confused. He looked at me with pity and knowing as I’m sure he’s seen that look before. Placing a hand on my shoulder he said “Your children passed away today.” That’s when it cut through the fog and I turned and threw up as a wave of grief hit me. I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I was in a hospital being whisked through hallways on a gurney. A doctor came in and tried to talk to me but the words wouldn’t make sense in my brain. All I could do was stare straight ahead so they finally left questioning me and injected a needle into my arm causing everything to go dark again.
Chapter 2

Bleep, bleep, bleep, the monitors keeping pace with my heart beat woke me up. Yeah, I’m still alive. Wish I wasn’t. That thought had actually been a meme for most of my life and now seemed as appropriate as ever. A doctor walked in a few minutes later with a policewoman accompanying him. “Good to see you are awake. How do you feel?” “Okay” I replied flatly. “Do you feel up to going home? You aren’t a danger to yourself?” “I want to go home please” I replied ignoring the last question. “What’s she doing here?” I nodded at the officer. She stepped forward a small bag in her hand. “These are some things from the car that were your children’s. I thought you might want them.” Her voice cracked and I could tell she was on the verge of letting that hard cop exterior be ruined with some tears. “Thank you” was all I could think to say about that. “Did you catch the drunk driver?” I asked for some reason. Shaking her head no, rather vigorously, probably to clear the tears, she said “no, nothing yet except the description of the car. A car further down the road reported a car of the same description taking out a guard rail but driving off with their bumper hanging. We’ll do our best, I promise.” There was only one thing left to ask “what kind of car was it?” I asked. “A blue Volkswagen Passat. Why?” “I really don’t know” I said lying. “Can I go now?”

An hour later all the forms had been signed and I was in a cab headed home. The whole ride, I tried to keep it together, contemplating what I would do to the other driver if I found him. I could see my fists pummeling his face till it was unrecognizable. Normally I would have shuddered at the thought of killing another human especially with my bare hands but anger and sadness were running amok like a tidal wave through a town. Back home I googled every auto body shop in a 100 mile radius calling each one to see if a Blue Volvo Passat had come in with front end damage in the last day. 35 shops in, I got no’s or “we can’t disclose that information” forcing me to spill the story numerous times only to be told “oh, I’m so sorry. No we haven’t had a vehicle matching that description come in.” Finally around shop 42 I found what I was looking for. “Billy’s Auto Work.” The man sounded a bit gruff and busy judging by the level of noise in the background. “Yeah, I’m wondering if you’ve had a blue Passat come in yesterday or today with a good bit of front end damage?” A slight pause and then he replied “yeah, we did. Guy hit a guardrail or something. Claimed he swerved to miss a squirrel but I’m guessing if you’re calling, that’s probably not true.” “Oh, he hit a guardrail all right but he also took out my mailbox and front gate as well. Just want to settle up.” I lied. “Well I can’t give you his info but I can inform the police when he is going to come pick it up.” “That would be fine” I said ending the call by thanking the man for his help.

Chapter 3

That evening I broke into the yard at the Billys by stuffing a couple tranquilizers the doctor had given me into a some steaks and throwing them to the guard dogs and then carefully climbing over the barbed wire fence. After a short search I found the Volvo parked at the back of the shop sufficiently fucked up. Seeing the cause of my childrens death, I froze, a lump forming in my throat. Before tears and sobs came out, I stuffed it all back down, robotically moving over to try the door handles. Locked. Without even thinking I smashed my gloved fist through the passengers window as if it was tracing paper. That felt good. Next this guys face. The insurance card was still in the glove box providing the owners name and address: Donald Cooper, 24 Dogwood Lane. I stared at the card letting it burn into my brain. Okay Donald. You’ll see me soon. Sliding the card back into the glove box, I slowly made my way back over the fence slipping into the street as my rage became pointed in a clear direction.

It was 2:47 am when the electronic voice stated "you have arrived". The Dogwood Lane neighborhood was a typical suburb with about 25 cookie cutter homes slapped onto .5 acre lots to at least give some semblance of nature. The Cooper house sat at the end of the cul de sac on two lots - the largest home on the street by far. Fucker has money apparently. Those guys always think they're above the law. The image of Donald begging for mercy as I denied it made me feel powerful. There weren’t any lights on in the house and I wasn’t going to try and sneak through the house Jason Bourne style. I’ll have to come back in the morning...and somehow verify that I have the right guy. I need a drink. Maybe I'll make last call.

GPS placed a bar exactly 1 mile away, serving till 4am. Perfect. The bar was a bit of a dive with only a few people there, mostly just waiting to either be kicked out or taken home by someone who had seriously lowered their standards. The bouncer checked my ID and then I walked straight to the bar ordering two Long Islands. I wanted to get fucked up but without the burn of straight liquor and just sit and sip in the corner hopefully numbing the pain. Halfway through the first drink, a blonde woman in her late 30s who had been sitting at the bar when I got there stumbled over. "Hey sexy! What are you up to tonight? I'm Janet" she said extending her hand. She isn't bad to look at and she called me "sexy"..., that's the alcohol making her say things....but maybe she will take my mind off things. "I'm Arthur
I lied, “have a seat".

We shared the basic info you share at a bar: "What do you do?", "Where do you live?" Etc. I had been answering her questions honestly without a second thought until Janet answered the “where do you live” question. "oh, I live really close, Dogwood Lane. Biggest house on the street. You should come over after here." She winked and then turned to find her drink. My heart felt like it had stopped beating my chest was squeezed so tight. "Oh really?" was all I could say and it came out almost as a gasp. “Yeah, my ex-husband, well soon to be ex, I served him yesterday but I'm not wearing the ring anymore so who cares." She laughed putting her hand on my left thigh. "Why are you so tense? Loosen up baby." She slid her hand closer towards my crotch. "Oh, I'm good" he said trying to sound believable. "So he's out? No more? Goodbye?" Janet shook her head yes. “Where’s he staying then?” I asked hoping for a lead. “That’s what I want to know” she said pushing directly where you would expect an erect penis to be.

"Ding ding ding - last call". I waved a server over and ordered another drink for her and a water for myself in an attempt to stave off being raving drunk with this woman insistent on groping me. Janet decided to go for broke and grabbed my face with one hand laying a kiss on me while trying to shove her other hand down my pants. "So what made you get divorced?" I stammered “you’re clearly not shy sexually. He cheat on you or hit you or something?" Janet took a sip of her margarita, hand still on my now less flaccid member before explaining. "Yeah but we never fucked anyway so I don’t blame him. He's just always gone working, then when he's home, he spends all his time with our two kids. They adore him." She rolled her eyes taking a gulp of the drink and then started pumping under the table.

"So what made you leave him? Wait did you kick him out?" Her hand stopped. "I just got sick of him nagging me to quit spending so much and have sex with him. If I divorce him citing infidelity (I have proof) then he will have to pay for everything and I will be set as long as I have those brats live with me. Are you going to keep asking questions or are we going to do this?” She sounded a little annoyed but still desperate enough to keep trying. Removing her hand from my pants I stood up and tossed some cash on the table. "Hey where are you going?" She called after as I stepped away without a goodbye. "You seriously not going to have sex with me? What are you gay?" Gritting my teeth I turned to face Janet. "I think you are confusing me with being a selfish cunt like you.” Absolute rage at her selfishness and it’s effect seared away the alcohol as well as any filter I still had.

Starting in a low tone that rose to almost a roar I spat out "I probably wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last woman on earth. I'd rather kill myself than be with someone who is so utterly self absorbed, pathetic and evil as you." Janet looked bewildered. "You don't think I'm attractive? Fuck you!" She slurred. "You might as well be a cracked out, broken down hooker with the soul that you have. I know Donald isn't perfect but you admitted that he took care of you and tried to give you the things you wanted. Right?” She didn’t respond. “RIGHT?!?” I demanded. “Yes” she replied seeming slightly scared. “Ok and here you are trying to still take more from the guy. I mean you took away his children for fuck sake all so you could get more for you. Did you ever think that maybe you wanted too much and he was doing his best?"

By this time I  was yelling which attracted the attention of the bouncer. "Hey man, stop yelling at the lady" the meathead said putting his finger tips on my chest. "Don't touch me bro, I'm not in the mood and I'm headed out anyway." I said turning to leave. Like most bouncers hoping for a dickhead they can rough up and feel like a man, the dude grabbed my arm and twisted shoving forward. Instinctively I used the bouncers momentum to jerk him forward stopping suddenly smashing my head into his nose. “FUCK!” He hollered letting go. Now I really need to get out. Without another look back I ran for my car and peeled out of the lot. Last thing I need is the cops arresting me in this town. Taking a right out of the parking lot, I drove without a destination in mind. By now it was almost dawn and tiredness hit and my limbs felt as if someone had filled my insides with sand. A motel 6 suddenly came up on the right. Hotel, what do you know? That was serendipitous.

After sleeping for a couple of hours I woke up with a throbbing headache. God damn! I'm so angry - I'm angry that I'm angry. The anger finally broke out in a stream of sobs so intense I buried my face in a stack of pillows to try and keep the neighbors from thinking that someone was dying although to be honest, I felt like I was. You can only cry for so long till you are exhausted. I reached that point and rolled onto my back staring blankly at the ceiling. A .38 snub nose was packed in his duffle bag that sat right next to the bed. Dropping my arm languidly, I fumbled around the bag until my fingers felt the cold metal. It felt like power - possibility of setting the record straight. For several minutes I lay there holding the gun thinking until I fell asleep with the gun sitting on my stomach. I woke again not too long after when I rolled over and the gun clattered onto the floor. Holy shit! Glad that didn’t go off and hit some innocent person. I fucking hate people…well selfish people..especially the women in my life…it's too bad I'm not gay, then I could cut women out of my life. That's not really fair...or accurate. I mean I love women - I just hate selfishness. Women have probably endured more suffering as a whole than any group of men. Maybe Janet is just reacting to the patriarchal, dick driven world...not an excuse but I reacted out of hurt when I screamed at her last night. That was kind of shitty of me...Hell, Donald was probably just reacting to his heart breaking from the news of the divorce when he crashed into my kids. Maybe he was drunk, maybe distracted with tears...does it really matter?

I didn’t know where these thoughts were coming from because part of me wanted to be angry. I guess it was the part that was sick of being angry speaking up. It all really made sense as much as I didn’t want to admit it. Who was I to judge other people? I mean it would be one thing if I we were talking about a serial killer but a lapse in judgement hardly deserves me killing someone over. The anger and grief morphed to hopelessness for humanity. All the years of trying to do the "right thing", being selfless trying to serve others, I don't know why I even bother. Maybe I should just take myself out of this equation. Bringing the gun up to eye level I stared straight down the barrel. It's really that easy. It could all be over. Memories of all the times I wanted out till the last few years bubbled up to the surface. Why didn't I ever do it before? Was it fear: of God? The unknown? Not succeeding? Not knowing if it was really what I wanted? All of the above, I suppose but mostly deep down I guess I wanted to survive. There has always been a hope in my heart that somehow things would change. I think I was afraid that I would give up right before things were going to get better and if there was an afterlife that would be tormenting to know I gave up right when I was about get ahead. I’ve also always had a feeling that I was supposed to do something, like I was meant to do something significant in history to help humanity….so much for that. My life is practically shambles. Bringing the gun closer I put the barrel in my mouth.

Should I do it?

You're not a quitter. You can do it. Look at how much you've grown in the last few years.

But I'm so tired. I just want to take a break from life for a while.

Then why don't you? Stay here for a few days, go somewhere else, hell, go camping for a month. No one would blame you.

Deciding to give it a couple days, I took the gun out of my mouth dropping it onto the bed. Seeing it there, I shrank away from it, almost revolted by the shape of it, what it represented - half the power of God. I'd much rather have life giving power.

Chapter 4

Three days of staying in a hotel room only sleeping and thinking is fairly counterproductive to finding a clear mind. On the fourth day, I woke up at 1pm to knocking on my door. "Room service" the maid called out. Rolling over I groaned. "Yeah, ok. Give me a minute" I called through the door. I guess I should let them clean this place at least once and besides, I’ve got to do something. Maybe a run will help. Quickly changing into gym shorts I stuffed everything into the duffle bag and headed out the door. Running is something that had never been high on my list of fun activities. It was more something that had to be tolerated but at times like this, pounding against the ground is a great release of tension and anger. After the first mile, the vortex slowed it’s spinning and settled out into a light mental fog. By the time I returned to the hotel room a few hours later I had a clear head and a decision had formed in his mind. I don’t know where it came from but I felt was the right thing to do despite not wanting to at all. It seems like the hardest things you don't want to do are usually what you need to do I reminded. Quickly showering I pulled out his computer performing a search for Donald Cooper. The results were fairly banal: no arrests or headlines. Other than the address I already knew, there wasn't much except Donald’s name, photo and contact info up on the website of the car dealership he worked for. That sure is a shitty job especially bearing the burden of a parasitic wife. Dude must be stressed to the maximum. Still, he shouldn’t have driven….Before I lost my resolve and nerve I created a new email account Popular email address isn't it? Maybe I'm not the first person to do this...that or it's just a bunch of whackos pushing Jesus. Cool it man, you used to be there too. You've walked both sides of this fence. Some of them are well meaning people.

I avoided my personal email inbox because surely news of my childrens deaths had reached the internet and I knew I didn’t have the emotional energy to see people talking about picketing the funeral or other such heinous things. Opening a new message window on the new account, allowing the words to pour out from the part of my soul that believed in forgiveness, I typed, fingers shaking.


You don't know me or who I am, but I know what happened - the accident that you ran from. I'm not writing to tell you because I'm going to report you, you do what you think is correct. I'm writing because I am in pain and I know you are too with your divorce, along with a heap of guilt and self hatred if you are at all human. I really don't think you meant to do what you did and I know you've lost a lot yourself and couldn't bear losing more (though I would imagine you might think that would be for the best). Trust me, it's not the best. We all make mistakes, some with greater consequences than others and you have to live with what you did in a moment of poor judgement. I want you to know that I forgive you and all that I ask is that you extend this kindness to everyone else you meet. Maybe we can slowly make the world a better place.

By the time the email was finished, the shaking had spread to my entire body as if I was standing naked in a snowstorm. Hovering over the send button for a second, I contemplated saving the message as a draft. If I don't do it now, I probably never will. Gotta kill the weeds young.

Click. That was so hard and I don't even know if he deserves it. Thinking about the possibility of all the decency and goodness I had dredged up being discarded without a care made me nauseous and contemplate eating a bullet again. I can't deal with this anymore. My brain feels like it's going to implode. Reaching for the bowl instead of the gun, I stepped out onto the balcony and smoked some weed, completely unconcerned who saw. As I watched the sun set while slowly getting stoned I thought How can such a beautiful place be so fucked up? The bowl was tapped out and I returned to the room to try and get some sleep. I’ve sent the email and I’ll sleep on the rest and make a decision about all this tomorrow. Setting the bedside alarm for 8am, I laid down and closed my eyes hoping the morning would bring lessened pain or courage to pull the trigger. Except that my alarm didn’t go off at 8 and now I’m sitting here holding a TV remote contemplating what to do.

Chapter 5

I guess I’ll pick up my computer and write for a bit. I can ignore all the hateful comments although they are like a sick fascination that pulls you in.

I’m sitting here in a hotel room with my laptop typing what might be my last post ever.. or maybe it’s just a way to try and organize my thoughts outside of my head. If I decide to pull the trigger, I’ll schedule the post so that it will hit a few hours after I’m finally off this stupid ride we call life. It’s been a tough journey and while I think about the high points, there were definitely way more low points to where it doesn’t seem worth it. Maybe there’s only so much happiness to go around and it’s dumped entirely on a few lucky people, or maybe I just was unlucky enough to be deprived of knowing how to attain that happiness. The way I slice it, either I’m fucked and that’s it, or I’m temporarily fucked but can learn how to overcome it.

Despite everything that has happened to me, I never have been able to let go of the idea that there is always a door out there, I just have to keep looking for it. I’ve seen it in other people’s lives who have had horrible shit happen and make it out, so what was their secret? Would it be the same secret for me? Not believing in a god usually removes any belief in an afterlife so that hope of a tipping of the scales someday - it puts it all on me to make it happen, right here, right now. As I write this, I think that the thing that held me back the most was believing God was involved in everything in my life, and the universe. If I didn’t know what to do because usually I was too scared to make a decision, I would pray and ask God to take care of it or show me what to do. Of course I didn’t get many answers and things ran roughly in my life because of it. I let myself be chained to a life of misery on the brink of poverty but it was okay because “it must be what God wanted for me. It’s a trial to test me brother.”

It was foolish to believe in a god that claimed to be love but was so absent and unkind. I mean if you can accept the whole Father, Son and Holy Ghost - 3 beings in one things, then Jesus was pretty okay. But then supposedly God told some of the apostles to write some harsh shit in the new testament later as well. If God was real and had some love in him, then he was at a minimum bipolar. I’ve seen the miserable side of life and when I gave up God, I started to see that change which gave me hope but a different kind. It was hope in my own power to change myself and the world around me. Regardless of whether or not there is something after this life, I can enjoy what is left of this one. It would be idiotic to check out now. There are too many possibilities open now to punch my ticket. Think I’ll stick around until life takes me out.

Let’s re-read this piece before I decide what to do with it… as draft. Click. Badoop! What’s this notification about? New comment on your latest post. Shit! I thought I hit save as draft….it still says draft. WTF? No fear of life anymore right? Click.

Anonymous333: Hey, great post. Love your blog. I’m glad you are sticking around.
Admin: How did you read it already when I haven’t even posted it yet? Are you hacking me? I thought your group supported me?
Anonymous333: No, I’m not part of the hacking group, it’s just the default username when you don’t have an account.
Admin: Is there a glitch in the server then?
Anonymous333: Everything is running as programmed. I just know a lot about you.

This is weird. Gotta find out what this user's IP address is. User info - Click. IP That doesn’t make any sense. How can..

Anonymous333: I know this is weird. I really respected the fact that you forgave Donald and wanted to tell you that.

What the what? How could??? Donald?

Admin: Is this Donald?
Anonymous333: No and I can prove it.
Admin: Ok, I’m waiting.
Anonymous333: When you were a teenager, you swore for the first time in your life because some hornets stung you. Afterwards you felt so guilty that you prayed and promised God that you would never swear again.
Admin: I never told anyone that. How the fuck do you know?
Anonymous333: Because you were talking to me.
Admin: So you are trying to tell me that you are God?
Anonymous333: Yes and no.

Admin: But you said you liked my blog and that last post was all about how I don’t believe in god. Riddle me that.
Anonymous333: Let me tell you a story……….

It was the winter solstice celebration that Elohim was five when he received the small plastic netted bag of marbles. It was not a special gift, because in fact all the boys in the orphanage received a bag of marbles in their shoes that that year. No one knows why presents were stuffed into children's shoes but it had been done for so long that no one wanted to break the tradition and put them under their pillows or just wrap them in paper and put their names on them. Elohim had never received a present before and simply sat for several hours holding the glass orbs in his cupped hands. He finally took notice of the other boys playing a peculiar game with their marbles and walked over to join them. “Would you like to play Elohim? Am I saying that right?” asked Graham. Elohim nodded and sat down. Several other boys in the circle shot Graham dirty looks but Elohim seemed not to notice  When the new game started it quickly became clear that Elohim was a natural, consistently get combos nicking two and sometimes three marbles at once. “He’s cheating somehow” one of the older boys named Stanley whined. Elohim held up his shooter and said falteringly “lucky”. He had heard the other boys say that word over and over after every shot he took. The other boys, tired of losing their marbles, jumped on the bandwagon despite having no proof. “You can’t play with us anymore. Get lost loser.” Only a three days into his new life it soon became accepted fact - Elohim was a cheater..
It was a few days before the winter solstice celebration when Elohim was discovered sitting on the front steps of the state run orphanage. Shivering, wrapped up in a cardboard box that had been bent so many times it was almost as flexible as a blanket, he was discovered by a delivery man bringing that years presents for the children. When one of the workers opened the door, the delivery man pointed to Elohim “I found this kid out here shivering. Doesn’t seem to talk. Might be deaf. Happy Solstice Rebecca” He waved and hopped back in the delivery pod giving a smile to Elohim as the hatch closed. The woman who had opened the door was Rebecca Simmons, an attractive 22 year who volunteered at the home. All the local delivery men loved dropping off items hoping for a chance to flirt with the gorgeous red head. Until then Elohim had never seen another person with the same color hair as him and he was intrigued. “Do you have a place to stay?” Elohim just stared transfixed. “Would you like to come in?” Rebecca opened the door wider and gestured towards the inside.

The boy didn’t understand what the woman was saying but he felt drawn to her and followed her inside. Rebecca lead Elohim through the building to the director of the orphanage Drew Williams. “Drew, I found this poor child out on the steps, do we have any additional room for him?” Williams looked up from his desk taking in the disheveled sight. He sighed. “We’re really at full capacity. He would have to sleep in the attic but it’s cold up there.” “Oh, don’t worry about that” Rebecca implored “I’ll make sure he has plenty of blankets and clothes to wear.” “Ok, and thank you.” He smiled tiredly at Rebecca and then Elohim. Pulling out a form from a desk drawer he put it down on the table. “Welcome young man. What’s your name?” “He doesn’t seem to talk” Rebecca interjected. “Well what shall we call you then?” Looking from the form to Elohim and then back to the form. Elohim tapped on some writing on his cardboard blanket someone had written with a permanent marker “Elohim”. “Is that your name? Elohim?” Drew and Rebecca waited for a response. Elohim just stared at Drew and pointed at the word again. “Ok, Elohim it is. Do you know how old you are?” Elohim held up one hand and pointed at his palm. “Five does seem about right. I’ll fill the rest in later. Rebecca, why don’t you take Elohim to get a bath and some new clothes. We can introduce him to everyone at lunch.”
Chapter 6

When Mr. Williams introduced Elohim to the other children the boy could feel a general disdain for him from all the other orphans. Freak was the common vibe he picked up on so when Graham had invited him to play marbles, Elohim thought maybe freak isn’t a bad thing. Maybe they do like me. After that first game, though it was quite clear what they thought - this gangly, freckle faced, redhead was repulsive to them. The cheater stigma excluded Elohim from further games from that point but used to being alone, the boy retreated to his space in the attic to play by himself. He had won enough of the other boys marbles to be able to play games alone taking the turns of every player getting better and better as he competed with himself.

The next few weeks went by and Elohim was invisible except for meals and compulsory activities or when he was tagging along with Rebecca helping with chores like the laundry and cooking. The second week of the new year, right before school started, a couple of the boy snuck up into the attic to reclaim the marbles they believed he had stolen. All the boys at the public school were going to have full sets and Stanley, Jacob, Graham and Peter didn’t want to show up at a disadvantage. Each boy retrieved his marbles, splitting up the excess leaving 9 marbles and Elohims shooter. The 10 marbles were unique enough that everyone would know they had stolen them so instead as revenge, Stanley threw them into a snow bank on the edge of the wood line behind the orphanage. Now without any thing to play with, Elohim became fascinated with books from the library. He couldn’t read but the pictures of his world sparked imaginations he would be lost in for hours on end.
When spring came,  as most social pariahs would, Elohim found himself frequently exploring the woods alone. One bright sunshiny day in late April Elohim was tromping through the woods when a glint caught his eye. Fueled by the pictures in the books, Elohim was a curious boy and would spend hours fixated on things like making ants spell words by drawing with a stick dipped in pheromones. Carefully honing in on the gleam, he brushed aside some leaves  discovering with glee, his cast aside marbles and shooter in a small puddle. He knew immediately that it was his shooter because it was the only one like it in all the bags of marbles that had been received that Winter Solstice. In fact, the singularity of this shooter was the reason Elohim had tried to claim it was lucky. The truth was that he had been cheating the whole time. Though, It wasn’t till the game of marbles that he had discovered his telekinetic abilities. When he fired out his shooter, he simply thought where he wanted it to go and it did for the most part. It wasn’t until he played alone in the attic for several weeks that he realized his skill was not normal.
Something odd struck Elohim immediately when he observed marbles - they were floating and one of them seemed to be covered with some growth. Whipping out the magnifying glass that he always carried in his back pocket for inspecting things (but let's not be ignorant - it was mainly used for burning leaves and torturing the ants that didn't follow the pheromones) he examined the floating glass spheres. They seemed to have changed, absorbing minerals from the water and were more like stones now. The shooter was at the center and when Elohim pinpointed his magnifying glass on it, it burst into flame. This of course delighted Elohim but caught him very much by surprise. Not wishing to set any other of the spheres on fire he was careful to not pinpoint the sun's light on any of the other marbles while examining them. The one with the growth on it, third from the shooter, appeared to have movement on the surface. Unfortunately it was too small to see with a magnifying glass and it was getting late in the day. Elohim decided to head back and smuggle out a small microscope from the science room the next day. Before heading back, Elohim built a barricade of rocks around the small pond with its curious floating array of marbles to ensure that the flaming one in the middle didn't set fire to the forest.      
That night Elohim could hardly sleep. His thoughts were consumed by what could possibly have happened to his marbles since they had disappeared months before. He loved listening to science fiction stories from old recordings on the internet and imagined that maybe he had discovered something that would cause his name to become famous. He still didn’t speak but after months of more direct contact with other people, he was beginning to understand much of what they said. Finally, he drifted off to sleep and awoke the next morning ready to charge back to the woods. Alas, as he was creeping into the science room, he was detained as Mrs. Williams, Drew’s wife, caught him. "Elohim, you know it's your turn for chores. Please go clean out the freezer and then you can play. It's the perfect day for it anyway. What were you going to do outside in the rain anyway?" Elohim didn't answer because his mind was racing to his little puddle. What would happen to the pond if it rained so much it overflowed the stone barricade he had made? Would it extinguish the burning shooter?  Was there anything really moving on that one with the growth? He hurriedly cleaned the large chest freezer where the orphanage stored meat that was donated on occasion from the local butchers removing everything and rotating the stock to ensure the oldest meat was at the top. Fortunately for Elohim it had been a while since a donation had been made and so the clean went quickly.

Quietly he crept out of the house with the microscope before anyone else accosted him with more chores. When he got back to the puddle, to his amazement, the marbles were all still floating and the one in the center was still burning brightly. Oh, it would hiss and spit when a drop of rain landed on it but it was still bright as the day before. You could actually feel the heat from it several inches away which Elohim thought remarkable considering the size of the fuel source. Elohim remembered the microscope and he fetched it from his raincoats pocket. Upon examining the third marble, or planet as he began to call them, he saw that in fact there were things moving on the surface of this rock. His excitement could hardly be contained. Everyone would love him now with this discovery! The workings of a 5 year old's brain aren't always the most logical so the mistake that Elohim made next is understandable and forgivable - he decided to try and bring the little miracle stew of life home. The plan was sound but it was the execution that caused “the event". Running back inside he deposited the microscope back in it’s cupboard and grabbed a plastic container and lid from the kitchen.

Carefully using the bucket as a scoop, Elohim tried to gather the marbles and liquid but the the pool wasn’t large enough to get the entire mouth of the bucket parallel to the surface. Painstakingly Elohim enlarged the pool, gently digging out scoops of muck. The rain helped out by filling in the space he had made and finally after 2 hours of meticulous effort, the marbles were in the bucket safe and sound. All was well on the trip back inside, each step gentle and deliberate, until he was going up the stairs to his room in the attic and that's when it happened - one of the older boys charged down the stairs shouting "watch it firecrotch" purposely jostling Elohim quite vigorously as he went by. This created a tidal wave in the bucket and some of the liquid splashed over the edge. The boys at the bottom of the stairs laughed and applauded as Elohim burst into tears, rushing into his room to examine his treasure. The shooter was no longer bright and through the magnifying glass he couldn't see any movement. Quickly he grabbed another lens to magnify the small orb. To his horror the wonderful creatures that had once been living were all lifeless. These weren't just any creatures either - they were powerful forces of nature in their own respect despite being insignificant compared to Elohim. There were some with wings, others with long necks and tails and still others with little stubby arms but massive heads filled with razor sharp teeth. It was a crushing blow and at that point Elohim did something that he never could explain for the rest of his life. He wiped away his tears, put a lid on the container and carefully carried it down to the chest freezer. Labeling it with his name he hid it in the corner of the freezer under some elephant steaks and forgot about it.                

Chapter 7          
Two years went by before Elohim remembered his tub of frozen marbles. It was almost by chance that he even saw them before they were thrown out. The chest freezer in the basement has been failing slowly for some time and needed to be replaced. It had taken many fundraisers selling candy bars in front of the local Discount Club store, where most of the town shopped, but the orphans finally raised the money and a new freezer was purchased. As an added bonus a the butcher donated 50 lbs of venison steaks which any child will tell you taste far better than the elephant they had become accustomed to eating.

The new freezer was being delivered on a Saturday morning and Elohim was on his way out the door to a chess match at the park down the street. Mrs. Kaufman was salvaging what was left in the old freezer when she hollered up from the basement "Elohim, what's this bin with your name on it doing in the freezer?" Two years at that stage of life change a kids priorities a lot. The boy still rarely talked and when he did it was only a word or two. Every spare minute of his free time was spent reading or playing chess. He had devoured every book in the orphanages library and was steadily working on every subject they would let him check out at the public library. He really didn't care about the old marbles, at least not when a chess tournament was at stake. That box was then, this is something he had now to keep his mind off of everything else. Adults didn’t call him a cheater or freak when he played chess with them. You can’t cheat in chess unless you switch pieces around when the other person isn’t looking. Not wanting to miss the match, Elohim ran into the basement, grabbed the container, ran up to his room and tossed it on the floor, dashing back downstairs to his bicycle.

The odd thing was that despite his most concerted efforts at concentrating on the matches, his mind kept drifting back to the tub and two years before. He played poorly losing 2/3rds of the games. Returning home dejected Elohim threw himself on his pallet on the floor and just stared at the ceiling. With no friends or family Elohim found himself wishing for company to fill his life. That's when the idea occurred to him - why not try to get those little creatures to grow again that he had found on the marble? One perk of living in the attic was that it had a small window that looked out over the city. Unfortunately the window didn’t open making summers a bit unbearable. Pulling out his magnifying glass Elohim focused the sunlight streaming through his window onto the shooter and waited. For several minutes nothing happened and just as he was about to give up hope, the sphere burst into flame and burned so hotly that Elohim singed his eyebrows. Remembering that they had been spinning around shooter in the center he concentrated and willed them to move again. It had been a while since he used his powers but the hours of practicing his telekinetic abilities two years before paid off and quickly the planets began swirling around each other. Not too fast though because he wouldn’t be able to observe what was going on if they moved too quickly.

Not knowing what to do next so he just concentrated really hard and wished for birds to swim through the air around his Earth. Naturally he assumed they would be the easiest to spot moving if he were successful. To Elohim's amazement he saw something - or was that just a floater in his eye? Training the microscope he had permanently borrowed on the planet, he slowed the entire system to a crawl. Yes! There were birds. Who knew it was possible? From that point on for the next few cycles of the marbles around the center, he willed for every possible creature he had read about in the books. It then occurred to him that this could be the solution to his friend problem. Why not wish for someone like him? He concentrated all his power and checked the microscope again. While there were lots of other creatures, there was nothing that looked like what Elohim saw when he stared into the mirror. It was then he remembered the Grow Yourself kit he had bought at the dollar store last week. Technology in the genetics sector had advanced significantly in the last decade allowing the possibility for many things, one of which being these nifty little kits where you could take a strand of hair or some biological material, mix it with some special earth from the kit and when you plant a seed for a plant, it grows to look like you. In a stroke of brilliance, Elohim spit into the dirt and with a toothpick daubed a speck onto the Earth. Then he willed again for a friend. When he checked the microscope again there it was - a few shades darker in skin tone version of himself (due to the pigment in the earth). The creature was walking, actually walking! Elohim noticed that his new friend was naked but since it was like looking in a mirror, who cared? "Can you hear me?" Elohim thought? His new friend looked around slightly startled. "Yes, where are you?" The facsimile replied. "I’m up here. You’re my friend. I made you just like me.”
“Elohim! Come on down if you want anything to eat.” Miss Casey called.
“I have to go but have fun with all the animals. You’ll know what to call them. Bye Adam". Adam couldn't have been more pleased to know what he was called and did a backflip nearly landing on a rabbit giving birth (yeah, they were already cranking out the first batch. Fucking rabbits).              
After dinner Elohim checked in with his new friend. "How are you Adam?" "I'm good. Named all the animals. Why do some of them hang out in pairs?" Adam then grabbed a lemon off a tree and bit into it before Elohim could warn him. "There are girl animals and boy animals Adam and that thing you just ate is a lemon. They're kind of bitter and I don't really know why I put them there but all the things were running through my head and poof, now they're there." "Oh" Adam replied growing silent for a few moments. “Am I a boy or a girl?” “You are a boy but kind of a girl too.” Elohim explained vaguely. The truth was he didn’t completely understand it himself. “Does that mean I don’t have another one of me to do that with?” Adam asked pointing at the rabbits busy making batch #2. Adam wasn’t complaining but Elohim thought it wouldn’t be fair to leave him alone except when I’m around. “Are you the only one like you?” Adam butted in. "Yes, Go to sleep Adam, I’ll figure it out.”

In the last few months Elohim had begun growing a crush on Ava a 10 year old at the orphanage. The girl never paid him any attention whatsoever and he had never actually spoken to her despite living in the same orphanage for 4 years, but then he didn’t talk to anyone really. One thing he did know was that Ava drank everything with a straw. DNA dirt in hand Elohim sidled up to her table. When she turned the opposite way, he reached for her straw but not being the most deft child, he knocked her entire glass over covering the table and floor with chocolate milk. All the girls at the table shrieked turning to glare at Elohim. Embarrassed and unsure what to do now he froze. Ava rose from her chair, dress dripping milk and began to scream at Elohim. "What is wrong with you, you carrot headed freak? You should go stick your head in the garden and stay there." She spat the insults with the sincerity children have when they don’t yet understand empathy. It was so vehement in fact that saliva came out of her mouth and landed on his face. Normally Elohim would have wanted to die from turning so red and being so obviously humiliated but he was never more elated.

Running from the room he carefully wiped the saliva into the dirt and some of his own for good measure. It can't hurt right? He thought. With the utmost care he again placed a speck of dirt next to where Adams sleeping body lay and wished with all his might for a friend for Adam. She was beautiful, a mixture of him and Ava but more developed and he was having a hard time not staring at her breasts. Everyone loves breasts no matter what age they are. This is going to be grand Elohim thought waiting for Adam to wake up.

Chapter 8

The next morning Elohim checked in on his little world and was happy to find that Adam and the girl were talking and romping around the meadows. The girl was also naked still and Elohim he was transfixed as he felt a buzz of sensations down between his legs that was new. As he watched, he became worried that now having someone to spend time with, neither Adam or Eve would have a need for him.  "Do you like her Adam?" Elohim asked. Adam perked up "Oh yes, very much. Thank you! We tried what the rabbits do and it’s wonderful. What is her name?" “Eve” Elohim replied after a minute feeling insanely jealous of the Adam and Eve, and the rabbits. “Is that okay that we did what the rabbits were doing? I called it sex if that’s okay?” Adam seemed genuinely concerned.

I can make the rules, they won’t know any better and then they will still be my friends. “No, continue doing the rabbits things, it is fun” Elohim lied not wanting to let them have a reason to reject him.  “Also there is..." he paused for a second and then created a tree in the middle of the garden Adam and Eve lived in. "There is a tree over by where the serpents like to hang out that you aren't allowed to eat the fruit. If you do you will die." He paused squinting hoping there would be no objections and smiled broadly when none were fired back at him. Satisfied with his new found power, Elohim said good night but silently watched. His attention was mostly focused on Eve and those beautiful breasts though as his hand tried something new with what sat between his legs.

Instead of spending every day alone except for the occasions when the other children chose to pick on him, Elohim now spent all of his time with his little universe, chess forgotten. The more he stayed in his room, the more the other children (mainly Stanley) forgot about him. There were many times Elohim wished to shrink himself and live on the Earth with Adam and Eve but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to get it to work. When he popped a blood vessel in his forehead "willing" so hard, he decided it was time to give up on that.

Discount Club sold everything imaginable from feminine hygiene products to advanced telemetry devices and sensors from decommissioned rocket ships. Elohim would always ask to go with Mr. Kauffman, the maintenance man when he made runs to the gargantuan Discount Club hoping to sneak away and to wander through the aisles to look at the gadgets and tools for sale. Elohim had recently started delivering orange berries to people, fresh berries being the current rage, and had saved up a considerable amount in the past few months. After puzzling for over a year as to how to interact more easily with his microscopic friends, Elohim found a solution on the shelves of the retail giant. The complete spectrum sensor array which detected every frequency from sub sonic oscillations to gamma radiation was on sale and it even had a usb interface.

The configuration of the sensor Elohim glued to the top of his container took several days because he finally realized that the directions had been translated from Karmanian and some of the prepositions didn’t carry over properly. After finding a translation online he was finally able to get things up and running. You didn't have to be any kind of genius to write a computer program since the interface had evolved to a simple drag and drop flow chart of logic blocks. With all the time playing chess, Elohim was fantastic with logic exercises. In no time flat he had a program that recorded everything so he could go back and replay what he missed skipping the boring parts.
For months Elohim, Adam and Eve spent a lot of time getting to know each other while Adam and Eve spent even more time getting to “know each other”. It never occurred to Elohim to tell his creations his name and they never thought to ask because who else was there? The couple just referred to Elohim as He or Him when not speaking to him directly. Elohim also noticed other things while replaying Adam and Eve's daily conversations: Adam had begun referring to Eve as wife. This distressed Elohim because he still saw Eve as his, his Ava. Then he realized that Adam was his and if Eve was Adam's then by proxy Eve was still his. This still didn't sit well with Elohim, he wanted undivided attention but what could he do? He could kill Adam but he didn't want to lose one of his only two friends.
The rift began one rainy day in August. It was actually a deluge and so all the children were forced to stay inside the orphanage - all trips canceled for fear of accidents on the road. The other children were looking for something to keep them entertained so they invited Elohim to play hide and seek with them but instead of everyone hiding, all the other children ran off and left Elohim to hide by himself for an hour before they all appeared as a group and took turns mocking him. Naturally he retreated to his room to talk with his friends but when he called out to them, they didn't answer. He could sense them faintly "oh Adam, ohhhh! don't stop" Eve moaned from inside a cave. Why were they always doing that now? Do they not like me anymore? At least I could watch. He didn’t talk to Adam and Eve the next two day and was aloof and almost icy in the short conversation when it finally happened. It's hard for a 8 year old to wrap their head around the fact that an adult would prefer a relationship with a person that is tangible over an intangible one most of the time and every time when sex is involved.
Stanley claimed he was 13 but no one really knew exactly how old Stanley really was because he lied about everything. He had showed up three years ago with no papers just a story that no one really believed. If Stanley took an interest in you it was usually because he wanted to torment you and Elohim had felt his wrath frequently. The day after Elohim had discovered Adam and Eve doing sex Stanley walked into the room. Elohim was sitting at his desk just staring at his computer monitor reviewing footage of the sex. “What are you doing turdbrain?” Stanley asked menacingly. When Elohim heard Stanley's voice a shiver went down his spine and he quickly tried to exit the program monitoring the Earth. Elohim did his best to avoid Stanley. The boy had already ruined his universe once.  "Put that back on, now" Stanley barked. Elohim complied meekly. "What is this shit?" Stanley demanded. Not used to conveying thoughts verbally, Elohim tried to explain as simply as possible making every attempt to be boring and uninteresting. "I’m going to make something” Stanley decided. "I don’t think it will work but you can try.” While both boys watched on the monitor, much to Elohim’s dismay, Stanley made a beautiful serpent. After exploring the garden for a minute Elohim tried to get Stanley to leave. “See it’s really boring. I’m going to shut it down.” About to concur, Stanley caught a glimpse of Eve alone sun bathing. "Whoah! A naked chick. Damn she's gorgeous. I’d like to slither between her legs" He punched Elohim's shoulder which hurt. “I bet you get off on this all the time don’t you” he eyeballed Elohim’s crotch. “Well it’s my turn now. I'm going to talk to her, with my snake". Stanley laughed as if he had just told a hilarious joke and Elohim joined in to avoid conflict.” "You’ll may freak her out" Elohim protested grabbing his throbbing shoulder. “Shut up freak” Stanley glared.

The serpent flew over Eve's head and by pure chance landed in the tree that Elohim had arbitrarily picked as the special one. "Ssssst, hey gorgeoussss, how are you?" The snake hissed. Eve looked around surprised because the voice was neither Adam's or He's and it was not inside her head this time. "I'm over here in the tree, don't be afraid." Eve looked at the forbidden tree and saw the serpent. He was a beautiful creature shimmering with various colors like when water lands in a puddle of oil on the ground. His sinewy body coiled up bracing himself with his expansive wings. Despite her curiosity being aroused, Eve was wary. She had only interacted with two beings before in verbal communication. "I'm not supposed to be near that tree. It we eat it's fruit we'll die so Adam thinks we shouldn't even go near it. I told him we should get a rhino to push it over but he said that wasn't our decision to make."
Stanley looked at Elohim and raised an eyebrow quizzically. Elohim just shrugged.
"Nonsense, you won't die. Who told you that rubbish?" The serpent pried. "Him, the voice. I don't know, he's the one that made us and all this" Eve sounded confident which made Elohim proud. "Have you sssseen He who the voice comes from?" The serpent was going for the jugular like a lawyer cross examining a faltering witness. "N,no...we haven't I guess." Eve stammered. "Well you see me and I'm telling you that dying thing is bullshit. Go ahead, take a bite. I'll take one with you." The serpent chose a fruit and bit into it with gusto. Eve watched as the juices ran down his body and in a split second decision, ran to the tree and grabbed one of the fruit. Elohim watched in horror as Eve lifted the fruit to her mouth. "Stop this!" He pleaded but it was too late. Stanley was busy moving the tail up her thigh as Eve brought the fruit to her mouth. As she tasted the delicious fruit the serpent flicked its tail up inside Eve beginning to undulate. Eve seemed to be enjoying the entire experience immensely. “Blow me or I’ll throw this bucket down the stairs” Stanley barked at Elohim. “And if you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.”

When it was all over, the serpent flopped to the ground and slithered off as Stanley zipped up and turned to leave the room. “I’ll be back” he called over his shoulder.
Traumatized, Elohim just sat staring at the screen numbly watching as Adam rejoined Eve. Immediately Eve pressed the fruit to Adam's lips causing him to jump back. “What are you doing Eve? Trying to kill me?” “Seriously Adam” Eve said taking a bite “they’re fucking delicious and furthermore what does dying even mean?” Adam still stood a few paces from Eve guarded. “I don’t know, but it sounded bad. I mean death - sounds like breath but with a d for disgusting. How should I know? You would think He would know since he put us here. And what are these sounds you are making” Adam shook his head. “Well a serpent told me that it’s all bullshit and he talked to me like this. He also showed me this” Eve said grabbing Adam by his cock and pulling him closer. It hurt slightly but her forcefulness turned him on at the same time. Riding him like the snake had worked her, both Adam and Eve found out another side to this thing called sex. “I guess the death can’t be too bad if the serpent showed you that” Adam said taking a bit of the post sex fruit Eve handed him.

Staring at Adam and Eve sprawled out on the ground gorging themselves on the fruit because not only was it delicious, it was partially fermented on the tree and they were rather drunk for the first time in their lives, Elohim felt utterly devastated. Most children haven't learned yet how to deal with conflicts properly and this was a situation that even most adults would be unsure how to handle not to mention the abuse he had just endured so Elohim shouldn't really be faulted for his handling of the forbidden fruit transgression. He went into logic mode and played it like a chess game running a move to see how they would respond.

Calling out to them as if it was any other day he hoped that they would come running and apologize but there was no response. “Adam, where are you?” He asked exercising his verbal skills hoping that maybe they would respond to sound but when Adam and Eve dove head first into some holly bushes, there wasn't much left to hope for - they knew they had broken his rules but it also seemed like something else was off - they couldn’t talk like they used to. "Eve, grab those fig leaves behind you" Adam whispered and then stifled a hiccup. Eve giggled "what do you want these for Adam?" Until this point when Adam and Eve saw each or knew that He was there somewhere watching, it felt like when anyone looks at themselves in the mirror - they might not like what they see but reflection staring back at your naked body doesn't feel like it's intruding. "I don't want anyone to see those" said Adam pointing to Eve's breasts and vagina. Not Him and not some snake.” “Why are you angry Adam? That was great!” Eve couldn’t understand Adam’s insecurity. Feeling his disappointment, Eve began to cry softly also for the first time. "I'm so sorry, maybe I was wrong and I messed it up Adam." "We'll hide for a while and maybe it will go back to the way it was” Adam replied without much hope in his voice. The day was ending on Earth and Elohim decided to let them sleep on it and see if maybe the feeling of being disconnected would go away.

Chapter 9
When the sun rose Adam and Eve crawled out of the holly bush gingerly. As soon as they had extracted themselves Elohim called to them again "Adam, where are you?" The man and woman's heads snapped back to the holly bush and Eve was poised to dive but Adam seeing all the scratches and not wanting to go through it again grabbed her arm. "I'll handle this” he whispered. "We're right here. We were hiding because we didn't want you to see us without any clothes on." "That's never used to be a problem. What’s wrong?" Elohim queried mainly because he wanted them to admit what he already knew. Just say you’re sorry, he wished. Suddenly feeling trapped and very desperate Adam blurted out "this woman that you made gave me some of that fruit and said that it was okay to eat it. You put her here and hey, we're not dead so seems like you lied". Adam finished his statement rather hotly and took a deep breath feeling somewhat satisfied with himself for standing up to Him. His satisfaction turned to horror when he saw Eve weeping. It was only the second time he had ever seen her cry and it made him feel terrible but fear and pride kept him from doing the right thing. Not wanting to be misrepresented Eve spoke up through her sobs "but that snake told me it would be okay." The mention of the snake reminded her of Adam’s penis and being rightfully angry, she reached through his fig leaf loin cloth, grabbed what she could and squeezed. Adam dropped to his knees dragging Eve with him, her hands now pinned between his legs and folded over torso. Now they both were crying from pain they never knew existed before - one from emotional pain and the other from a physical pain.
Elohim reacted out of instinct watching his friends turn on each other. They had been part of him before but now they were separate entities and he felt loss but also anger. More anger than he knew what to do with. For a split second he almost threw the tub right through the window but there was still a little part of him that he couldn't let go of in those two specks of life so he dismissed that impulse. "This is death” He said transferring some of his anger into the animals in the area. They set upon each other ripping each other to shreds with screams and shrieks. “All the animals not moving anymore, the grass and trees that turned dry and hard - that’s death. It’s what’s left when people take everything from you.” Both Adam and Eve were wailing at the sight of all the creatures lifeless surrounding them. Eve had actually been knocked out by an eagle hitting her in the head as it fell out of the sky after being hit by a condor. For a second Adam thought she was dead as well. Then Elohim thought she was dead. He paused. The stillness was horrifying. Should he stop now? There was just Adam, maybe he could work with that. Eve started coming around though and Elohim contemplated killing her but she was too beautiful and also maybe a way to keep Stanley from messing with him. They would hate him if they didn’t fear him. Fear is how Stanley got what he wanted. Maybe eventually he could show them that he wasn’t that bad.

“Adam, you are going to have to work and it's not going to be easy. You will eventually die and turn back into the dirt you came out of and will work in everyday". At this Eve wailed again protesting that it was her fault. This shocked Elohim. Eve's reaction seemed inappropriate considering how Adam had just treated her. He knew the hurt of rejection and couldn't imagine defending someone that had been so harsh only a few moments before. Seems like a good place to put pressure. "Eve, you will always try to please Adam but never succeed completely". Neither seemed to understand the implications of what was just pronounced over them. "But what about the snake? He started it?" Adam asked angrily.  Elohim willed for the snake to lose his wings and suddenly all the snakes in the air fell to the ground with various slaps and thuds. It was a rather grotesque scene all those reptilian bodies writhing around unsure of what to do without their accustomed appendages. Eve started screaming but Adam jumped up and ran. He didn't know where he was going but anywhere away from the serpents and His voice was good. Eve followed slowly, her shoulders slumped, each step languid, no more the vivaciousness that had made her breasts bounce only days earlier.      
Things began to change on the earth slowly at first but like anything that picks up momentum, the changes suddenly became apparent. Elohim had never told them that anything was bad or dangerous because it wasn’t. The tree was the only thing that had been off limits and that one thing had caused all the death. Adam and Eve began to be afraid of what animals they encountered or plants they ingested. Unsure of what would kill them, they were always on the lookout. It seemed obvious that something had changed to Adam and Eve the morning after the snakes fell from the sky confirmed by the two dead deer in front of their cave, their throats slit lying in a now dried puddle of blood. Adam took a sharp rock and cut the skins off the deer to replace the fig leaves they had been wearing. Fig leaves dry out rather quickly off the vine and become rather ineffective for covering one's private parts so the deer skin was a sad but welcome replacement. From their cave the couple watched animals who had been friends previously now begin to argue, fight and some devoured each other. The lions said that the sheep were stealing from their raspberry patch when in fact it was actually the hyenas. Sheep are too dumb to figure out how to steal much of anything or defend themselves rationally. The lions thought the sheep were mocking them with their only defense of "we don't like raspberries". It's true, no one had ever seen a sheep eat a raspberry before but when the main lion roared, any animal wanting to come to the sheep's rescue was scared silent. Thus began the slaughter of sheep and most other weak creatures. The turkeys were eaten simply for disrupting a tournament the wolves were having because their poor eyesight didn't allow them to see the melee until they had disrupted it. The cows simply mooed too loudly one night for the bears liking and so on and so forth. Watching this play out over several weeks became too painful for Adam and Eve to watch so they retreated further into the cave and did the only thing they knew to do that would distract them. 9 months later the boys were born - Cain and Abel.

Chapter 10
By this time Adam was working long hours in the garden he had been furiously trying to maintain and sustain since the land didn't just offer it's bounty to him like before. He didn't even realize that Eve was pregnant because most nights he came back to the cave so exhausted that he would fall asleep without even eating anything. The day the boys arrived Adam was working out in the garden when he heard a horrific scream from the cave. Assuming a lion had gotten past the wall he had made and was attacking Eve, Adam grabbed his spear and ran - faster and faster with each scream. As he was climbing over the wall, the screams turned into laughter. It was the first time he had heard Eve laugh since the day they broke the rule and Adam couldn't imagine what was going on. His first thought when he saw his sons was I'm going to have to work much harder now and he briefly considered taking them to the lions as a peace offering. "Come here Adam, aren't they beautiful?" One of the boys turned and looked at Adam and his heart melting.  "What do you want to call them?" Adam asked gently touching their soft heads. "You're the one that's good with names. You named all the animals. What do you think?" Adam pondered for a minute and then decided on Cain and Abel. He didn't know why he chose any of the names he had for the animals but each one seemed appropriate like the sound that fit the color, shape and personality of the animals. The birth of the two boys brought Adam and Eve back together again wiping away much of the hurt they had caused and felt - their sons were going to love them.

Cain and Abel grew quickly and had become teenagers by the time Elohim checked in again. As they grew up, Adam and Eve related the story of Him and how they had come to be there. Of course, not actually seeing the process of the creation happen, some of it was embellished and became quite the grand tale. Cain and Abel wished that they could meet Him but he had not returned since that sad day and so they only had what their parents told them to go on. The boys both had different talents and interests and since there was only one woman on earth that was off limits to them, their entire energy was thrown into exploring the world and learning how they could bend it to their wills. Sometime during their fifteenth cycle around the sun, Elohim decided to check in. He had really not paid attention to his tub for a few months but it was fall and he was bored. Thankfully everyone had left him alone, including Stanley, as he had taken to eating most meals in his room sneaking into the kitchen at night to get food. It came as quite a shock to see two new beings on his world but it was also the possibility of new friends.

Elohim was initially very pleased to see how the boys reacted with such joy and excitement at hearing his voice. However, his joy turned into jealousy when Eve appeared and introduced him to Cain and Abel. Cain and Abel had parents – something he had never known. It seemed fair to make them suffer a little because why should they be so happy without him and in spite of him? Watching them for a few days, Elohim learned their habits. Abel loved to till the land and see what edible goodness he could cause it to produce. Cain on the other hand preferred to let things do the work for him and took a shine to livestock, becoming a rancher of sorts. Elohim knew how much it sucked to have things taken away from him that he had worked for, as he had experienced many times at the hands of the older boys in the orphanage. That night when the family reconvened at the cave, Elohim addressed them. He instructed Cain and Abel to bring offerings to him of all the work of their hands. Once a month, the boys went to the designated spot and left their respective offerings for Him. After the first three months, Cain realized that Elohim wasn’t there to witness the offerings, or He just didn’t say anything.  Whenever he stopped by the offering spot on his way to the sheep pasture, he would see some animal gnawing on the remains of a sheep or some birds pecking at the produce Abel had left. Why should he throw away what he was working for when it wasn’t even being appreciated?

It was the fourth month after Elohim gave the offering decree when he decided to see if his orders were being followed. It seemed impossible to get an exact time conversion down so he had to wait around for a few hours to get to the right day of the month that the offerings would be brought. Abel showed up with arms full of various fruits and vegetables and this pleased Elohim very much. So much that he clapped his hands together. Cain was there too but instead of having brought a sheep or calf, he was carrying a sheaf of grain stalks. Elohim was furious! “How dare you Cain” he shouted causing the entire earth to shake. “Abel has brought what I told him to and you have brought what? Some grass you cut down on the way here?” Cain protested “you never took the other offerings. The sheep bleed all over the place and make a huge mess when I have to kill them. It just seemed like a waste and a pain in my ass if I’m being honest. I still brought something.” Elohim’s anger burned so hotly that when he next looked back at Abel’s offering, it burst into flames. “I accept Abel and his gift. You are not my friend Cain.”

This upset Cain immensely. Not only had He called it a “gift” instead of an offering as if it was something voluntary Abel had done, but he said Abel was his friend. What a bunch of horseshit! On their way back to the cave, Abel gloated “I can’t wait to tell mom and dad about Him burning up my gift.” Hearing the word “gift” again sent Cain over the edge and before he knew what he was doing, Cain had cracked Abel over the head with his walking staff. Abel fell hard, smashing his head against a rock. The sight of blood from his brother made Cain faint and when he came to, his horror was realized again. Abel was not moving. There was not a thump thump in his chest and he felt very cold. Cain began to cry. He had not meant to kill his brother but it had happened and how would he explain this to his parents or worse, to Him who had just proclaimed Abel His friend. Cain got to his feet and began running not thinking of where he would end up or how he would survive. Fueled by his terror and guilt Cain ran for 2 days straight. He thought he had been running in a straight line but blinded by his tears and lacking much sense of direction, when he finally dropped due to exhaustion, he was chagrined to discover that he knew exactly where he was – just on the other side of the mountain from his parents cave.
Elohim was excited to have reconnected with an extension of his creation and returned to hang out with Abel after he finished his dinner. After calling out to Abel and getting no response, he wound back the footage from the offering spot and his meeting with the boys. As he played the recording from the archive he followed Cain and Abel down the path and witnessed the accidental murder of his new friend. Elohim’s heart was broken again. Could he not catch a break? He was going to make Cain pay. But as Elohim attempted to trace Cain’s footsteps, he saw all the tears that Cain had shed and heard the incoherent screams of anguish. By the time he had located Cain it seemed that letting him continue to exist with the memory of what he had done would be a worse fate than being snuffed out. Elohim certainly wasn’t going to make a woman for Cain either so he could learn all about loneliness out in the wilderness.

Afraid of being found by Elohim or his parents, Cain took to hiding in trees much of the time until he discovered how to set a course by the sun to ensure he didn’t just walk in circles. One time while shimmying up a tree, Cain’s penis repeatedly rubbed against his loin cloth and suddenly he felt extremely good. Not knowing what was happening he climbed higher and faster until suddenly there was an explosion of something wet down there. He would have been afraid if it hadn’t felt so good and he just hugged the tree and closed his eyes for a few minutes basking in the high. Cain soon discovered that climbing a tree wasn’t a necessary part of the equation. Dropping his loin cloth and using his hand made less of a mess and also didn't have the potential danger of getting distracted and falling out of a tree. In those days before portions of land were deforested by crackpots making huge ships to avoid a supposed flood, the ground was extremely fertile and very little effort was required to grow almost anything. It was actually believed for millennia that even rocks grew out of the ground like plants until the molten core of the earth was discovered by scientists and that notion was brought clarity. Without much else to do, Cain had become a bit of a chronic masturbator. He had a favorite spot inside a grove of trees. It was quiet except for the flowing river nearby and was a spot he felt somewhat sure that even Elohim couldn’t see him.

After months of visiting the grove, Cain noticed a wriggling in the earth one warm day and to his shock and amazement, it was a being similar to him. The acidity of the soil had eaten the Y chromosome and the ensuing human was of the female order. Cain had only seen one woman before and never naked as far as he could remember. Without saying a word (because he was completely tongue tied and let’s be honest, all the blood that should have been in his brain was flowing to his penis), Cain led the woman to the nearby river to wash herself in. With only a shared look of knowing like two animals, the woman lay on the bank and spread her legs apart. Instinctively Cain inserted his throbbing member into her and immediately decided that this was much better than his spot in the woods.

Chapter 11
Adam and Eve never saw Cain again and spent many months mourning the loss of their two sons. Eve was so grief stricken that she just laid in the cave and complained to Adam whenever he wasn't home. "Adam, why would they do this to me?" or "Adam, why does He hate us? It was just some fruit?" or "Adam, how come you work so much? I need you." Adam tried to comfort Eve at first but there was work to be done and no one else was going to do it. Besides, the hard work had the added benefit of assuaging his grief. Eve was so depressed she never wanted to have sex despite his assurances of “it will make you feel better at least a little”. Eve is actually the one that coined the phrase man everywhere would hate to hear "I'm not in the mood." Eventually, though, something click in Eve's mind - if she had more children, her happiness would return. This caused an immediate cessation on Eve's "I'm not in the mood" speech and she practically pounced on Adam when he came in from the field that night and said "let's make a baby". Not having had sex in what felt like forever, Adam didn't care if Eve wanted to have sex to attempt to make the sun never set - he was in.

The couple had intercourse 5 times that night and each time Eve became more demanding and agitated stating that "she didn't feel pregnant yet." Taking a move from Adam's playbook from the day the snakes fell, Eve blamed Adam "you're not doing it right. Does that thing work right anymore? You practically go limp right after you go in. You aren't trying hard enough." And so on and so forth. Adam was happy to spend the next few days in long hard work outside the cave hoping the verbal assault would go away. Most discoveries come to several people at once but usually only one person gets the credit and so it wasn’t long till Adam discovered the same release that his son had recently although neither of them would have wanted to claim this discovery. Adam found his “sanctuary” behind a waterfall, which was lucky for him because all of his “children” that ended up sprouting from the fertile soil found themselves crawling out of the dirt a good distance from Adam’s cave. Not having parents or Elohim to instruct and guide, these fully formed humans or as they would later be called “mud people” became a society of grunters who lived off whatever they could scrounge up or bash someone in the head and take.

Adam would check in on Eve throughout the week to make sure she had enough food, and was still alive but he rarely slept in the cave with her. Eve had been up to pursuits of her own however and while she wished she could forget adam, true to the curse, she just wanted to be with Adam more. It was a terrible torment that Elohim had pronounced – to not want someone’s love and approval but to not be able to help yourself but want it. Eve began experimenting with different foods in her plenitude of spare time discovering that some mushrooms and berries will make you violently sick while others taste delicious and others even give you wonderful waking dreams. Eve also discovered juice squeezing oranges, grapes, pomegranates and various other fruits to create delicious cocktails that were wonderfully refreshing during the hot afternoons. One morning, quite by accident, Eve left her cup, a crude clay device, in the sun with a mixture of grape and pomegranate juice. She had eaten some mushroom and was having such a wonderful trip that was called her deep into the cave. Eve fell asleep for several days waking up with only a slight inkling that maybe more time had passed than a few hours. In what Adam later deemed ”highly irresponsible behavior”, Eve sat back down outside in the sun and took a drink. She almost spewed it back out because it had a weird bite to it now but then her memory jumped back to the day they had eaten the fruit and remembered a similar taste. How could she forget it? It was etched into her mind accented and outlined by thousands of serpents raining down around her.                 
The memory was terrible but the feeling Eve was starting to get again wasn’t so bad. It took her several weeks of experimenting to figure out the process of creating wine, but once she had the basics down, Eve was quickly on her way to becoming something of an artist in the field. Things like mixing a little elderberry with the pomegranate to bring out a scent or letting it sit in the sun for specific numbers of days and then let the rest of the fermentation take place in the dark of the cave. Eve was working so passionately on her new found hobby that she had quite forgotten about Adam and wanting a baby. Adam appreciated not being harassed when he would drop by periodically and even began to visit more frequently.

Eve kept the secret of her wine to herself until one day when Adam stopped by about a year after Abel’s death. Her hair was tied up with a small vine and since Elohim never seemed to visit and there were no other people around that she knew of, Eve had gotten over her shame and was stomping on grapes completely nude to avoid staining her clothes. Adam hadn’t noticed how beautiful Eve was in a long time but as he walked up the path to the cave, the light from the sun low in the sky bathed her in a soft glow, glinting off her hair and caressing the curves of her body. An immense shyness overcame Adam like the very first time saw Eve when he awoke and there she was. Eve was so absorbed in her winemaking that she hadn't noticed Adam approaching. "What are you making?" Adam asked quietly. Eve stifled a scream and reached for her tunic to cover up but when she saw the way Adam was looking at her she smiled. let him look. Eve struck her the most seductive pose she knew how to do making Adam beam. Hoping a day like this would happen someday, Eve had fashioned an additional clay drinking vessel. Truly they were too crude to be called a cup - the term "dish" would be more appropriate. Eve poured some wine into the two dishes and handed one to her husband. "Try this. I call it wine." Adam took a sip and then another. Not drinking alcohol before, his tolerance was rather low and he became tipsy very quickly. “You made something and named it. Well done wife!” Eve appreciated the compliment and the assurance of being called “wife” again.

Tipsy leads to frisky when most humans are around someone they find attractive. After the many months of being at odds with her husband, Eve didn't need the rest of her glass to be convinced. Adam grabbed Eve by the throat. “I’m going to put a baby in you” he said as he began pumping right there in the grass outside their cave as the sun slowly dropped beneath the horizon.       

The first family had several more children (mainly girls) but the only one they ever liked to tell people about was Seth. Eve was highly jealous of any daughters she bore because as far as she knew for the first 200 years of her life, she was the only woman on the planet and she didn't want the attention being diverted from her. As a gut reaction, Eve taught her children that women were beneath men - except of course Eve herself being the mother of all life. The other boys Eve bore (Jubal, Mesch and Horin) all ran off and as it was eventually discovered, had taken wives of the mud people. The mud people actually started off as the Mud Women due to it being almost impossible for the dirt to bear a man without the willing of Elohim. This fact is probably what accounts for the greater proportion of women in the world today.

Adam and Eve had an off again on again relationship and in the times when they were off, Eve drank heavily and vainly would try to seduce Seth when he was in his 20s. Seth however, would have none of it for he was born with the type of personality that once they have an idea in their head, do not let it go. From an early age Adam and Eve had filled Seth's head with everything they could remember about Elohim and how they had disobeyed. In Seth's mind, his parents, despite their excuses, were quite guilty; he was determined to be different. Eve's unwelcome and disturbing drunken advances  became more than Seth could handle so on his 30th journey around the sun he struck out on a walkabout and was gone for 35 years. After the first 5 years, everyone assumed that he had either taken a mud wife or that he had been eaten by a lion or beast of equal ferocity.

Always the loner, Elohim enjoyed finding other loners to observe and potentially be friends with. This hadn't worked out too well for him in his own world and had earned him several beatings for being the "creeper in the corner". He had taken to enjoying watching the Mud Women cavort around nakedly but that grew tiresome eventually and honestly felt a little creepy. Their interest wasn't in some man they couldn't see but when the odd chance happened that a man somehow overcame the impossible and emerged from the mud instead of a woman, it was a feeding frenzy filled with hormones and a biological desire for children - half the time the man wouldn't survive. One day Elohim, head laying on his arm on the desk, was aimlessly scanning over the earth. It was then that he came across a man standing by a stack of rocks with a dead goat on top of the pile. Weirdo Elohim was going to ignore the man but there really weren’t that many people to choose from and sometimes odd is the best entertainment. When he heard the man say "forgive Cain and my mother and father. Please, come and speak to me." Elohim's curiosity was aroused but instead of responding right away, he decided to do the supreme being version of the “cold shoulder”. The archives of that spot where the rocks were piled up showed that the man had been making an offering once a week for at least 10 earth years. Astounding!
He flipped back to the real time feed from the earth and looked for the perfect opportunity to introduce himself. As fate would have it Seth was making the weekly trip to the stone pile. This time when Seth made his offering and prayer, Elohim decided that he didn't want to see a dead animal lying there while he talked to this man so he simply willed for it to disappear. Seth took three steps back at the disappearance of the gazelle and fell over when Elohim spoke to him. "Hello Seth. Thanks for looking for me." Elohim was truly flattered. It feels good to be wanted by someone. Seth stammered around for a bit but finally collected his wits and had a wonderful conversation with Elohim. This started a friendship that went on for the rest of Seth's life. After many weeks of talking with Elohim, Seth decided that he should return to his parents and tell them about Him.
Elohims world had become simple again and pleasant. For the most part, school and sports kept the other children, mainly Stanley, from tormenting him. Between school work, chores and practicing his telekinesis - the only other thing Elohim did was watch his world and read.
Chapter 13
Seth returned back to his parents cave to find Adam and Eve passed out on a blanket drunk and naked. He considered staying around but why should he? Weren't these two in fact the ones who couldn't do as they were told? Elohim seemed very nice and reasonable to him. As he was surveying the scene around the cave, a young woman came out to check on Adam and Eve. She was beautiful and something about her immediately grabbed Seth. He hadn't remembered having a sister that age but then he had been gone for 35 years so anything was possible. The two talked for a while learning about each other's lives although Seth didn't learn much except that things had pretty much stayed the same since he left and that this woman was in fact his sister. Juniper, as he found out was her name, was fascinated with the stories of Elohim. "Oh can you please take me to meet him? I really want to get out of this place. All their constant horrible bickering makes me crazy." Seth thought about it trying to determine if it was the right thing to do or not. Not having a rulebook or Elohim present to ask right then, he finally decided that yes, it was acceptable - he would marry his sister and they would worship Him. Now it may seem strange or uncouth for a man to marry his sister but in those days everyone was closely related and Seth had not grown up with Juniper and frankly there was no one to object.
Seth and Juniper created many children together and did their best to encourage them to sacrifice and talk to Elohim however, there were several 5-10 year stretches of time where He was not to be found (in all practicality he was at a mandatory fall camp one time and the others he was in the hospital with pneumonia.) Growing up with very little interaction with this Him, many of the children left to find one of the infamous wild mud people. They sounded far more interesting than this being their father told them about who wanted them to kill animals for no apparent reason at all other than making him happy. There was one son who continued in his father’s path and his future offspring would be known as "the righteous ones" which in most circumstance would be a compliment, but was used as a term of derision by the extended family.
Over the last 50 years, Eve's discovery of alcohol had spread or been rediscovered by every little enclave of humans in the world. Alcohol mixed with the mud people's moral ambiguity lead to life becoming one protracted frenetic romp of debauchery. Children were being born every few minutes and no sooner had a child emerged but a man was in the act of trying to start another growing while the baby starved to death. Everything was fair game: houses, cattle, wives. It wasn't abnormal to come home and find your pig roasting on a spit in your neighbor's yard while your wife was fucking the thief to the sound of sizzling pork. At first the few slightly more reasonable individuals protested and were either ignored or had their heads bashed in while the village watched laughing their alcohol addled minds away. The people who complained and were fortunate enough to only be ignored moved away.  With no infrastructure it is a lot more difficult to survive outside a community so most people just gave up and gave in.
The summer and fall had passed quickly in Elohim's world. On his planet, many generations had been born and he had witnessed the death of his original creations Adam and Eve. When he realized that they were no longer living he searched through the archives till he found the moments when they each passed (Eve from cirrhosis of the liver and Adam from a heart attack while having sex with a mud woman) . He felt a mixture of sadness tempered with cold detachment. There were others who cared about him now and Adam and Eve had been a bit of a disappointment. Seth was now an old man but he had many grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren who all had been taught about Elohim. Truth be told, most of them hadn't cared about a mystical being who wanted them to “give their shit away just for his amusement”. Instead they found their way to the debaucherous mud people and mingled with them.

There was one great great grandson of Seth's, Job, who had listened attentively to Seth tell stories of Elohim - how the world had come to be and how they should all give their allegiance, respect and love to Him. Job became so devout that he made sacrifices constantly such that there was almost always a cloud of smoke billowing into the heavens from the altar in the back yard. Job was so devout that when he had children, he even made sacrifices for them in case they had somehow angered the great creator. Elohim couldn't help eventually notice the pillar of smoke and observed Job for quite some time till he decided that this man was probably the most devout man on the entire earth. This time instead of talking to Job, he kept his distance enjoying the adulation he constantly received trying to leave it unspoiled. Although he didn't directly interact with Job, Elohim did will for Job's cattle to be exceptionally fruitful causing Job to soon became one of the richest men in the world.

Chapter 14                       
Stanley had left Elohim alone since the day he precipitated what some would come to call "the original sin". He had been too busy with his summer baseball, soccer and basketball schedule now that school was started to think about Elohim. Over the Winter Solstice break Stanley become bored and decided to visit Elohim again one day in the mid fall. Flinging the door open and striding into the room Stanley caught Elohim watching Job go through several days running his affairs and of course sacrificing. "What do you want?” Elohim asked tensely.  "Who's that little fucker?" Stanley asked poking the screen "That's Job. He really cares about me and what I think." "Have you done anything nice for him?" Stanley tested. "Well yeah, I've made sure he is rich and successful." Elohim shrugged, “but he deserves it.” "I bet he would hate you if you did bad things to him." Stanley mused. "You would be an expert on doing bad things to people.” Elohim half muttered clamping his mouth shut when he realized what he had just said. “I’m going to torture him” Stanley said glaring at Elohim. “Try to stop me and I’ll fuck every hole in your body.” Elohim slumped in his chair. “Please don’t kill him” he pleaded as Stanley did everything he could possibly imagine to torture Job. He killed his cattle and servants, turned his friends against him, and made Job feel unimaginable pain and discomfort. Not once did Job curse Elohim. “FUCK this guy!” Stanley snapped, “I’m going to kill the ant.”

Finally feeling some fight and anger boil up Elohim stood up. “No!” he shouted and began to focus. The two boys became locked in a fierce mental battle over Job’s life creating a magnificent thunderstorm above the area. Realizing that he wouldn’t win, Stanley snapped his left arm out catching Elohim in the jaw, sending him staggering backwards. Elohim removed, Stanley turned his attention back to Job crushing his children before his eyes in their house. “Let him soak that in for a bit before I kill him” Stanley smirked. “Don’t touch him!!!!!” Elohim screamed. Unleashing a subconscious shock wave, every item between Elohim and Stanley became a projectile that battered about the older boys head. Most of the items had very little weight but several nearly knocked him out. “I’m going to fuck you, and then I’m going to fucking kill you FREAK!” Stanley screamed lunging at Elohim.
Elohim rewarded Job handsomely with double of everything he had had before feeling very satisfied with his creation. While he felt bad about the children, it wasn’t his intention for them to die but since he couldn’t bring them back, he just made sure that Job had 10 more. It came as an irritation to say the least when Elohim realized that Job and some of his friends had manufactured a persona for Stanley. From that point on the world knew an evil, vile creature named Satan who became very handy for parents wanting to manipulate their children "you better not leave our house. Stay here and work our land or it’s rebellion - Satan will get you" or "don't listen to the music that group of men play on the empty tortoise shells - Satan will get you" and so on and so forth.
The next morning Stanley’s body was found mangled on top of the jungle gym directly below Elohim’s window. Despite the window still being intact, and discovered to still be un-openable in the investigation, rumors began to fly mostly propagated by the children but one or two coming from the adults. One girl, Tammy said that Elohim had killed Stanley. She witnessed that she had heard Stanley yelling when she walked by the door during the Job incident. It gained enough traction for Elohim to be slightly revered and feared despite “there being no possible way he could have done it” according to the police. By the time the investigation was complete, the initial rumors had become legends and both the jungle gym and Elohim were given a wide berth by most of his fellow orphans.

Rebecca had gotten married recently and had moved away leaving Elohim friendless. Lonely as ever thanks to his new reputation, Elohim buried his nose into books listlessly watching his humans interact rarely coming down for meals. It was mostly boring but there were some great moments when someone discovered things like the wheel (it was actually invented by a little girl named Kayla but stolen by a teenage boy who was trying to impress a married woman. She in turn showed the wheel to her husband to deflect his anger when he found her in bed with the young man and a man got credit again for something a woman had done). Humans are irascible, fickle creatures and much of the populated world had turned into a drunken, brawling, fornicating swell. Elohim angrily yelled at them a few times but most passed it off as distant thunder in their stupor. His cries to stop hurting each other and be kind did reach the ears of a man named Noah who interpreted "stop hurting each other, I could drown you all" as "make a big ass boat and save yourself". Noah began furiously cutting down trees and hammering them together like it was the drum beat to a rock concert. It was actually so big it should have been classified as a class II island but there wasn't language for that yet so simply "a big ass boat" sufficed.

Chapter 14
It was mid-summer when the Schiffbergs came by the orphanage a second time to meet Elohim. Their first visit had been a few months before and Elohim had recalled the couple staring at him from across the cafeteria talking quietly to Jannet (the adoption specialist). Elohim rather disliked Jannet partially because she spelled her name with two Ns but mostly because it was Jannet who would lean in closer and whisper when people asked about Elohim. About to turn away pretending he didn’t notice, Elohim thought he saw Mary Schiffberg began crying. This was too much and stuffing the remains of a biscuit in his pocket, he quickly left the room making a beeline for his favorite hiding spot - the woods.

A persistent downpour kept Elohim inside on the Schiffbergs next visit. When he spotted the adults conversing in the entryway the boy dashed up to his room hoping to be ignored. After seeing the way most potential adoptees looked at him, it seemed clear that he would never be chosen. Sitting at his desk staring blankly at the monitor he watch intently as Noah labored away. At least a few of these people take me seriously. Knock knock! “Elohim, someone wants to meet you. Can we come in?” “He’s probably playing with his computer” Jannet whispered to the Shiffbergs though Elohim could hear it through the door. Turning off the screen he walked down the stairs and opened the door. The couple and Jannet backed into the hallway as if they were trying to capture a wary animal - walking slowly, fanning out to give it some space.

Cautiously the man reached out his hand. “I’m Remi, Elohim. Nice to meet you” the man said looking Elohim in the eyes. It was a rare thing for people to make eye contact anymore - it was considered rude and intrusive by most humans. Elohim took notice. He liked being noticed. It couldn’t hurt to see what these people wanted. Elohim tentatively shook the man’s hand. Remi Schifberg was in his 50s, average height, thin, with stringy salt and pepper hair tied back in a pony tail. His blue eyes twinkled through his spectacles with happiness that the boy had rarely seen and he had the kind of smile where if you were going to buy a used hoverboard from him, you knew it wouldn't give out when you were dodging other vehicles on the road. Remi’s wife Mary was tall for a woman, 5’9”, thin, slightly younger than Remi. Long brown hair ran down her back flowing back and forth as she crossed the gap between them. Standing there, tears streaming down her cheeks she slowly reached out to touch his hair as if he might bite her at any second or maybe was just an apparition. Elohim stood very still unsure of what to do. Should he say hi? Should he duck away from her hand? While he was contemplating the odd situation, Mary's hand had landed on Elohim's head and the next thing he knew she was hugging him and sobbing "it’s him Remi, oh it's unbelievable". Elohim looked up to see that Remi was also crying. It was at that moment when Elohim had reached his capacity for uncomfortable and he wriggled away from Mary, from Remi's impending embrace and bolted. He wasn't looking where he was going and crashed straight into Jannet knocking her to the floor and himself out cold cracking his head on a table in the rebound.

Chapter 15
When Elohim came to he was laying in the back seat of a mid sized vehicle, traveling where, he didn't know and with whom, he was unsure. He tried to sit up and look around to get his bearings but a splitting headache forced him back prone. Slowly turning his head to the right, Elohim was able to make out the Schiffbergs in the front of the vehicle. "Hey, where are we going?" It was the first time he had addressed the couple but he didn't feel like a proper introduction was in order under the circumstances. Mary turned around in her seat to face Elohim "we're taking you to our house. We adopted you." She let out a little squeal at the end which caused Elohim to wince. "Don't worry" she continued "we got all your things loaded up in the back. You're going to love your new home." His possessions hadn't occurred to Elohim till that moment. Panicking he asked "Did you get the tub and my computer? Did you? Where are they? WHERE ARE THEY?" Elohim had sat up now ignoring the pain in his head and began searching through the boxes in the back while firing off his barrage of questions. "Don't worry son, we got everything." Remi assured "That container was the first thing I brought out to the car. They said it's very important to you." He paused "what's in there? felt a little sloshy". Elohim didn't answer. The only thing on his mind was concern for his world. "how long did you leave it in here without the air on?" and "How much further do we have till we're there?" The Schiffbergs lived an hour from the orphanage but Elohim had been unconscious for the first 35 minutes of the trip - it didn’t bode well.

The remaining 25 minutes seemed like an eternity. Unable to check in on the tub he couldn’t set anything right that may have gone wrong causing Elohim great anxiety. Mary sensing the storm brewing tried to distract the boy by prattling on about how much Elohim was going to love their home and friends. “We live in a small community that believes in simplicity. There are lots of other children that you will love to play with. There is a big garden, and everyone has a small garden of their own. Do you like gardens?” Elohim nodded absently mindedly. “Every Sabbath we rest and then Sunday we have a big party with dancing, music and food.”

Remi pulled in through a gate slowly navigating the community as Mary pointed out different things giving a basic tour. The grounds were beautiful and very peaceful but Elohim couldn’t wrap his head around what was going on. When they finally pulled into the garage, Remi had barely powered down the coils when Elohim jumped out and raced to the rear hatch. He yanked open the door and carried his container inside as quickly as was possible. Without bothering to asking which room was for him, Elohim instinctively found his way into the basement being the coolest and darkest place in the house. Mary and Remi watched dumbfounded as Elohim raced back to the car and began looking for his computer while muttering to himself. "Do you need any help son?" Remi queried. Although he was usually a polite boy and exceptionally quiet, with the current upheaval in his life, he was quite out of sorts "no I don't need any fucking help" he snapped. He had never cursed before in his life and hearing the words leave his lips shocked and embarrassed him. He furtively glanced at his new parents whose mouths were both agape. Not wanting to stick around, Elohim grabbed the computer, mumbled a barely audible "sorry" and rushed into the basement.

Remi's normal jovial disposition was shattered by the F bomb being dropped by his new son. It’s not like Remi didn’t curse when he felt it appropriate but these events were rather shocking. "That’s going to have to be addressed" Remi announced after collecting himself.  Mary grabbed her husband's arm "this has been a lot for one day. Let him have some time to himself to adjust. It’s really not a big deal anyway." “I’m going to take the rest of his things upstairs and then work in the garden a little. Ok honey?” Remi kissed Mary who smiled tiredly. “Alright. I’ll make some dinner in a bit.

Down in the basement Elohim had the computer connected to the sensor array and was downloading all the data his battery backup had collected while everything was unplugged. When the program was fully operational, the sight that met his eyes nearly crushed him. When Remi had brought the tub down, he had left it in in the vehicle in the hot sun for about 15 minutes. This was enough to cause a good portion of the ice on earth to melt creating a flood that covered the entire planet. The sudden amount of heat and extra liquid moisture created rain for the first time in the planet's history but Elohim expected that there wasn't going to be anyone other than himself to record that event.

With the planet enveloped in a blanket of water holding a fairly constant temperature, it wasn't very difficult to spot Noah and his monstrous boat with the thermal sensors. Elohim was ecstatic to find some life remaining and grateful for once that there were some people who weren't quite right in the head. Upon running further scans, it turned out that a handful of species of animals had run onto the boat as the water was forcing them in that direction. Elohim willed the remaining space on the big ass boat filled with as many other species of animals as he could, to give Noah and his family something to do so they didn't go stir crazy while he got the rest of the planet back in order.

There's a lot to consider when putting an ecosystem back together after a global catastrophe. For instance, how do you get rid of the huge amount of water that wasn't there before and once you do, how do you dry everything out that is completely water logged? Not to mention reseeding the soil for food (but also for erosion control), reinforcing the atmosphere around the planet to keep the other interplanetary and exoplanetary liquids from mixing, and much more. By the time Elohim had straightened everything out,  got Noah, his family and the animals all off the boat, he was exhausted.

It was almost time for dinner when Remi decided to check on Elohim. He had planned to try talk about the outburst in the garage but walking down the basement stairs he saw the boy asleep laying on the workbench one arm around the tub. "Mary, come here" Remi whispered as loudly as he could. The couple stood on the steps looking at their new son for several minutes. "I don't think we should wake him. Can you just carry him upstairs?" Remi nodded and carried Elohim to his bedroom.

Chapter 15
Opening his eyes a strange scene greeted the young boys consciousness. Elohim clenched them shut again trying to run through the last things he could remember. A quick succession of different scenes and snapshots flooded his memory but jumbled, kind of like looking at a kaleidoscope of the past few days. Slowly, he took the multiple shards and organized them into a coherent picture and it finally sunk in - he had been adopted! The realization itself brought a mixture of emotions. Excitement: it had finally happened - he had a family. Fear: he didn't know them, what if he didn't like them or worse, they didn't like him? Anxiety: he had a whole new environment to learn that was different from the system he had known his whole life. Anger: he hadn't had a say and again, he was out of control. Finally acquiescence: it was what it was and at least he still had his universe. Throwing back the covers and looking around the room Elohim noticed that it had freshly painted white walls and no furniture other than a bed. A tub with his clothes sat in the corner but he didn't feel like changing from the day before (subconsciously attempting to control something).

Elohim wandered out of his room and down the stairs. The Schiffbergs were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and trying not to look too much like they were waiting for him to join them. Elohim felt rather uncomfortable as the couple just stared at him smiling. Thankfully Remi broke the silence. "Good morning Elohim, care for some coffee?" Remi gestured to a seat at the table across from him. At the orphanage you had to be 15 to be allowed to drink coffee so Elohim had no idea if he wanted any. He shrugged. "Oh honey you don't have to have coffee if you don't want it. We have milk, orange juice, apple juice...." Elohim cut her off "I'd like some coffee please". Remi poured a cup "how do you take it? Cream? Sugar? or Black?" "Yes please". Mary interjected “what a polite young man!” throwing Remi a “don’t you dare say anything about yesterday” look. Remi nodded. "Which one?...You know what, what am I doing? I'll let you make it how you like it. Sugar and cream are right there." Remi pointed at the containers on the table and handed a mug to Elohim. Not wanting to show his ignorance to these strangers, Elohim said thank you and took a sip. "Thats my man - drinking it black" Remi slapped Elohim on the shoulder. "To tell you the truth I like a little sugar in mine from time to time." He winked at Mary and smiled. The strong bitter flavor made the boy’s tongue tingle but he continued drinking. Approval for anything was welcome especially if it came from something as easy as drinking a beverage. Eventually Elohim would begin throwing a little sugar in his mug when no one was looking. The truth is he preferred it on the sweeter side too but didn't want to know how much exactly he was putting in lest he lose that tough, black coffee drinking status.

Mary fixed breakfast while Remi and Elohim sat and talked. "Did you sleep okay?" "Yeah I guess so. It was really quiet last night. The bed is really comfortable." Elohim took a sip of coffee and looked around the kitchen. "I’m glad to hear that. We left the walls plain so you could decorate it however you choose. You’ll need a dresser and desk but we thought maybe you could build those with Remi."I'm sorry there isn't anything in there. We left the walls white too so you could choose what color you wanted and we'll go furniture shopping as well so you can pick out what you want". Elohim wasn't sure what to say. He had never been asked what he wanted or thought at the orphanage. "Awesome" was all the boy could manage to get out.

After breakfast was over the family went out on Elohim's first excursion in his life that was designed to pamper him. He had been into a Discount Club before but only under the pretense of helping shop for food for the orphanage. Any oohing and ahhing at the toys, sporting equipment, electronic gadgets was frowned upon. Occasionally if Mr. Kauffman was in a good mood, Elohim would be given a few minutes to wander around while he went into a section of the store marked "Adults Only" This trip was completely different. At first Remi and Mary had to coax Elohim to let go of the cart and assure him that "they were in no rush and he could take as long as he wanted". Eventually the boy relaxed and acted like most children would in a store that had everything you can imagine. His new parents stood back and watched smiling as Elohim led them through the store like a bloodhound sniffing out a trail.

What Elohim couldn't get over was the concept of spending a considerable amount of money and more importantly, someone else spending that money on him. He would look at something and then put it down, then scamper off to the next thing and just stare. Every time his parents assured him that it would be okay to buy it, he would say "maybe later". After about 45 minutes of wandering the store with an empty cart, Mary and Remi conferred and then split off. Remi took Elohim to the hardware section to pick out paint for the bedroom while Mary disappeared into the maze of shelves. Electronically controlled paint had been invented recently where each wall could be designed on a computer and uploaded wirelessly in real time. The wall could effectively become a screen for movies, video games or just a virtual fish tank. Elohim read the notice his eyes growing wider but when he saw the cost he walked away. “You seem to like that one paint Elohim.” Remi said when he caught up with his son. Elohim shrugged. Realizing that the child might not be ready for this Remi asked “do you want me to choose something for you? Because I like the last one you were looking at. “Sure, that’s fine” Elohim replied noncommittally but Remi thought he saw a slight smile pass over his son’s face.

Elohim found himself enjoying selecting the rollers, paint trays and other products needed for the task. He hadn't bonded with a male figure (or female for that matter) and the prospect of having that in his life was exciting. The two men carried the paint and supplies up to the cash register where they reconnected with Mary. She didn’t have the shopping cart any more which Elohim thought peculiar but that was quickly put out of his mind when Mary asked if he would like to have lunch there. One time when Mr. Kaufman had stayed in the Adult Only section for over an hour, Elohim had gotten extremely hungry and bought one of the hot dogs from the food court. It seemed like the safest bet since he could shove it up his jacket sleeve to hide it if need be. He barely tasted the first one he ate it so fast but the bit that he did was fantastic and after glancing around and fidgeting for a minute or two, he bought a second one which he ate a little slower this time and thoroughly enjoyed. Remi and Mary laughed at how quickly and effusively Elohim responded "yes" to Mary's question. "Alright then, let's go" Remi paid for the paint and supplies and they family headed over to the food court. “We can’t get the hotdogs because, well we don’t eat them but anything else is fair game” Mary informed Elohim. He didn’t care, there still were choices and finally, he had a family.

When the Schiffbergs arrived back home Remi and Elohim set to work painting the bedroom. What is normally tedious work, taping trim, covering up the floor, cutting in, were all new experiences for Elohim and not the drudgery most children would see it as. He was also enjoying working with Remi; however, Elohim felt uncomfortable calling his new father by any name so he just avoided it all together and waited till he caught Remi's attention to ask a question. Having read many books on adoption Remi knew this was probably coming and put on some music to help ease the tension occasionally making statements or asking a question himself to provide an easier opening for dialogue.

The room was done in a few hours but required a full night to dry so there was a short discussion as to where Elohim would sleep that evening. While the adults were hashing back and forth the unimportant details of why each option was better than the one before. Elohim watched the ping pong discussion, turning back and forth to each of his parents studying their conversation. The discussion was cut short by the sound of a delivery alert and then the gentle thud of a parachuted crate hitting the lawn. " Awesome!" Elohim exclaimed rushing outside for a closer look. The delivery alert hadn't lowered the invisible safety barrier yet and Elohim ran full tilt into it rebounding a few feet back into the lawn. "Are you okay dear?" Mary was bending over Elohim's prone figure concerned. Elohim popped right back to his feet and asked excitedly "do I get to keep it?" He asked pointing at the parachute and blinking light. Mary shook her head and laughed. It was the most excited she had seen him and probably the most clearly put together sentence he had spoken yet. "I think we are supposed to return them but let's see what we can do. First let's get all this stuff inside." Remi grabbed a crowbar from the garage and began prying open the crate. Inside were numerous things that Elohim had looked at longingly in the store but hadn’t picked out. With every box he carried inside, the mental tally sheet was adding up just like the awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. When the last box was inside Elohim asked if he could go to the basement for a while. “Is everything okay? Do you want to talk?” Mary asked. Elohim just shook his head no and hurried into the basement.

Conflicting emotions tore at him. His parent’s and their community lived fairly simple lives with most of their time spent outside or reading books. All of the homes were built by the occupants with various designs constructed from an assortment of recycled materials. The Schiffbergs home was made out of old milk crates, some of which were turned sideways offering storage inside the walls. There was a layer of insulation on the outside which was covered with metal sheeting. His new parents clearly didn’t have much themselves, whether by choice or lack of funds, he didn’t know but Elohim felt so undeserving of the love and gifts. He hated the fact that he couldn’t accept the gesture his new parents were trying to make. What is wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this? Bounced around his mind. He hadn't worked for it and surely they couldn't be that pleased to have him in their lives. Eventually he would disappoint them and they would regret spending so much money. While wrestling with these thoughts Elohim’s attention was caught by a scene on the life filled marble. Noah's son Ham mocking his father for being drunk and naked in his tent. Elohim was outraged.

While Noah was kind of a crackpot, he had a good heart and had sacrificed a lot for the sake of his family. Elohim turned the anger he felt towards himself on Ham. "Ham, you are going to be a bum and all your kids and their kids etc are going to serve your brothers families. Shem and Japheth.” Addressing Shem and Japheth” you guys respected your father by not making fun of him and covering him up so you are going to be in charge in this world that you will fill up with your children." Ham whined that it was unfair while Shem and Japheth just looked at each other uncomfortably. They had heard of this God but had not really encountered him themselves. Sure there was the rainbow and a voice telling them that he would never allow another flood to happen after they got off the boat but they had just chalked it up to being stir crazy being on the ship with all the animal stench. This was definitely real and created an immediate shift in the family dynamic. Elohim couldn't technically keep tabs on every descendant of Ham with his computer software but to actually effect a change in their lives, he would have to will it himself which would get rather exhausting. He really wasn't thinking it through or even had the knowledge of how powerful thoughts can be but just wanted to make Ham feel bad. For the next few hours as a few generations cycled through Elohim mildly thwarted Ham's descendants in their attempts to succeed so that when he finally let off later that afternoon, it was ingrained in their minds that they were less than everyone else on earth.

Chapter 16
With everyone speaking the same language and having a whole portion of the family tree that had been summarily forced into being employed by their relatives, it was quite easy to get monumentus tasks accomplished in a short amount of time. The stories of Elohim had been passed down to each generation and since he hadn't spoken to anyone in quite a long time, it was decided one day to go searching for him. While the less favored of the options due to pure logic, one small crew was tasked with digging a hole as deep into the earth as they could go in search of Him. The rest of the population that wasn't busy harvesting and preparing food was tasked with building a tower that was as the mantra became, "to pierce the sky and find God". As you might imagine a tower that would "pierce the sky" would have to be massive at the base and would also require various groups to temporarily live at intervals up the tower just to man pulleys passing up food and supplies.

At the onset of the project, someone had presented the idea that they all needed to speak in a code so that if He were there watching, they might be able to keep their plans hidden. The first new language was formed though it was more like pig latin than anything. When the tower was nearing the 15,000' mark Elohim noticed a visible structure on the planet. That’s impressive. He had no fear that they would find him. In fact if they actually pierced through the sky, they would just get lost in the liquid surrounding the planet and probably suffocate. The truth was that they would run out of breathable air in the very near future if they went higher but none of that was really the concern for Elohim. This tower was one of the most amazing things he had ever seen in his world or theirs created by intelligent creatures through sheer grit and determination. What would they be capable of discovering if they continued at this pace? It was like watching an ant farm but with ants that talked. While watching the men at the top of the tower, Elohim realized that he couldn’t understand them anymore. What was that all about? They are speaking in code like the kids in the orphanage would do to hide things from me. Feeling excluded once again he decided ok, you want to have a different language, here you go. Elohim downloaded 5 complete languages dictionaries pumping them into the brains of his creatures on various levels of the tower.

The chaos that ensued would have been comical if it hadn't been for the 573 people that fell to their deaths from the tower due to a complete break down in the chain of communication. An interesting side effect of targeting sections of tower as opposed to family groups was that there ended up being a lot of Ham's descendants diversified throughout all the language groups paving the way for societies to adopt cast systems for thousands of years to come. Elohim watched as the groups diversified and quickly spread to various corners of the massive singular piece of land. He hadn't meant to cause violence, only confusion with his latest meddling in the affairs of the tiny humans however, when something as significant as language breaks down, fear runs rampant and misunderstanding turns to aggression. As a last ditch effort to ameliorate things and hopefully quell the fighting, he willed a massive earthquake and split the land into several large pieces that he positioned at various places on the spinning rock. It was getting late and Elohim figured he had done enough damage for one day. Putting the computer to sleep he walked up the basement stairs hoping his people would figure it out.

Chapter 17
Mary and Remi were sitting in the living room listening to music while Remi rubbed his wife’s feet. Affection between adults was something else Elohim was not used to and was tempted to creep to his room. Remembering that he was going to sleep on the couch due to the drying paint he nixed that idea. Maybe he could just act nonchalant and they wouldn't say anything - he could hope at least. Remi had a voice that when he spoke you knew he was sincere. It wasn't a harsh voice, in fact it was almost soothing but something about the way he used the tone grabbed your spine, made you stand still and pay attention. "Son" Remi began "I'm sorry, Elohim" he started over "we'd like to talk to you about earlier. We know this is an adjustment for you but we are your parents now and I need to explain what that means." Elohim tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Was he in trouble? Are the already regretting their decision? At least the food was better here than the orphanage and he didn't have to deal with bullies. His thoughts were almost drowning out Remi talking for the first minute or two when suddenly something he said snapped Elohim out of his own head space and back into the living room. "You are our son. We've adopted you, your last name is now Schiffberg and you will always be part of our family. That means that no matter where you go in your life or what you do or become, we will be here for you. We love you and nothing is more important to us than you. Not this house, our SQR 350 in the garage, none of it. We believe that people are more important especially family. There are some rules though that we expect you to follow as part of our family but they are really only for your own good.”

Elohim had no context for this kind of love. He tried to tell himself it was a lie to suppress the emotions that were shooting through his body like lightning but he knew Remi was telling the truth. This man was no bullshit. He had learned that word from Stanley in a negative context but realized that it was the perfect description of his new father. After closing the basement door a few minutes earlier Elohim had only taken a few steps forward into the room and stood there hands jammed into his pockets, shoulders tense. All of a sudden the years of feeling afraid, alone, unloved and unwanted broke loose as a few tears rebelled against his concentration. “Oh honey it’s okay” Mary said as both her and Remi got up and went over to their son. Kneeling down they hugged the trembling boy. That was the last straw and Elohim burst into full on body shaking sobs. When he finally ran out of tears and emotional energy he realized that both adults were crying silently too. He hadn't cried like that ever as far as he could remember because it would have earned him a bunch of additional nicknames and torment at the orphanage. After everyone wiped their eyes, he couldn't believe how much lighter and at the same time exhausted he felt. Elohim yawned "I tired". His parents both laughed wiping their eyes. “Well lets get this couch ready for you to sleep on.” When he was settled with a blanket and pillow Remi and Mary headed for their bedroom. "Why?" The question that had been running through his head since the day before finally popped out. "Why what Elohim?" Remi responded. "Why are you nice?" Mary walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead "because everyone deserves to be loved by someone". That idea tumbled around in Elohim's mind for all of 30 seconds till he drifted off to sleep and dreaming for the first time in his life.

Over the next few weeks Elohim began to settle into his new life. His room took some time to get setup just the way he wanted it with most of the time being spent trying to figure out what he wanted to put on the walls as a design. At first he had a base of bright orange with splashes of neon green, pink and bright yellow overlaid on top however, he discovered that it made sleeping difficult. Eventually he settled on leaving one wall bare of furniture so that he could display a photograph of fish or some other natural marvel and leave the other walls to a slightly toned down version of his self expression. Having parents and being loved took some getting used to but his young heart opened quickly and Elohim didn't know how he had done without it before.

The strangest element of his new life was also the one that he took to the quickest. Elohim, began to look forward to the Saturday and Sunday gatherings in the community. On Saturday all the families would gather in a building that was only used on that day of the week. Everyone recited old writings from spiritual ancestors in unison, chanted and listened to someone speak. For most people at that time in Elohim's world, any belief in a higher power was mocked and looked down upon however, this group was largely based off a common genetic history and held to their traditions as a way to keep their culture alive. Elohim had never seen anything like it and immediately fell in love with Schlemism (as the faith was called after the original man who communed with God: Baxter Schlem). Not only did he now have a family but he felt connected and part of a group. A big part of the Schlemish belief was in doing good, loving others and expecting that the universal power would honor the you and bless you for the life you lived.

Over thousands of years Schlems had adopted rules or what they termed "practices" relating to health, diet, treatment of elders etc. Some practices were outdated but still followed by the more devout followers of the faith while others still held relevance. For instance it's not a big deal to eat the off limits Zahini flowers if they are grown hydroponically (grown in the wild they can leech lethal levels of chemicals out of the soil). Elohim found all the rules fascinating and went above and beyond what his parents even practiced or expected. Mary and Remi were thrilled that their son was not fighting their lifestyle and beliefs - he truly was the one that had been prophesied about.

While Saturdays were to be spent in spiritual activity, Sundays were raucous events with music, dancing, food and games. As an homage to the day before, each celebration would begin with meditation for 45 minutes and then the food would come out. Elohim found meditation difficult with all of the constant thoughts running through his head. Half the time he was thinking about the food they were going to share shortly, his mouth salivating. Food at the orphanage was only passable and definitely not the freshest of ingredients. Many of the residents were excellent chefs, preparing delectable meals from the gardens on site. After dinner all of the children would play together digging in the dirt, Chase the Aardvark, Sparkball etc. The adults would sit around talking usually about “him that would bring the peace” eventually wrapping up the night with some live music and dancing once the sun had set.  

Chapter 18
A few months into his new life with the Schiffbergs, and idea dawned on Elohim: he could probably connect his computer to one or all of his walls and observe his universe more handily. At first he hemmed and hawed about whether he should move the tub from the basement to his room where the temperature wasn't as constant. If the tub stayed in the back of his dark closet it would probably be okay. Several days passed before he had the house to himself and was able to move all the equipment to his room without being peppered with questions. Even though he knew Remi and Mary loved him very much, Elohim couldn't help but feel they would think he was crazy if he explained the full extent of his tub. Besides, what if it somehow was against one of their rules? Better keep this to himself. When they didn’t see it in the basement anymore, Remi and Mary thought their son didn’t need the tub anymore and disposed of it now that he was acclimating to his new life.

Once the computer's video output was connected to the wall, Elohim piddled around to test out the new setup, catching up on how things had changed on earth. One giant screen was fantastic but it would be possible to keep track of way more sections of the planet if he split it into a grid of screens each focused on a different group of people. As he was categorizing the groups and deciding on how many sub sections he wanted and on who they would be dedicated to etc, he discovered Abram immediately feeling a bond with the man. As he finalized the grid, placing Abram's grid in the very middle, Elohim sat and stared for the next hour with full attention entranced by Abram and his wife Sarai. A sound in the living room jarred Elohim out of his trance. It was Mary returning from reading a book in the back yard. "Elohim. You okay sweetie?" It was still felt a little odd to call her Mom but he wanted the relationship and forced "I'm good….Mom, thanks". "Ok, well I'm about to make dinner. Anything you want specifically?" Elohim hoped he would never get tired or accustomed to having a say in little things like what he ate but he found he was already losing a bit of touch with his life at the orphanage. Each day the memory faded but pain was still buried deep that he would have to deal with eventually.

Laying in bed that night Elohim thought about Abram and Sarai. With the growing population, it was going to be hard to keep track of multiple people so he would have to choose carefully who to become invested in. Abram and his wife bore a striking resemblance to Remi and Mary which must have been what attracted him to the couple. Remi and Mary had chosen him, why not choose creatures that look like them in his world. He would adopt Abram and his children and they would be his forever. That settled, Elohim drifted off to sleep.

Earlier in the day, the boy had fallen asleep while reading a book the plush chair in the corner of his bedroom. After only a few hours sleep, Elohim woke, fully awake energized by the nap earlier. Turning on the wall screen to observe Abram further he put a first test forward. “Hey Abram. I want you to move somewhere that I’m going to show you but you can’t bring anyone except your wife. Just start heading west.” Abram looked up for a minute wondering if he had lost his mind. He had heard stories of people hearing a voice in the sky but usually those were the ones who frequently indulged on phalaris grass. Abram’s brother-in-law had been really being a pain in his ass recently so what the hell, might as well use this as an excuse to leave. Elohim grinned as Abram and his servants broke down the tents and started west. As they were leaving Lot, Abram’s nephew begged to come along. He was sick of dealing with his asshole father as well and Abram couldn’t help but feel sorry for the boy. “Sure, come along. What can it hurt” he told Lot with a grin.

Elohim frowned. It wasn’t exactly as he had asked but then again it was pretty amazing that Abram was going at all. He’d let it slide. As the caravan traveled Elohim watched the adventures unfold. It soon became clear though that Lot and Abram needed to separate after there began to be daily fistfights between their servants. Each ones servants was convinced the other was stealing cattle for their master from the other. The allegations were absurd but for the peace of everyone (and better grazing space for the cattle) Lot and Abram parted ways. It wasn’t long after that when Abram received word that Lot had been captured by a clan that had swooped down and invaded Sodom and Gomorrah. If it hadn’t been for Abram going to rescue Lot, Elohim would probably have never paid attention to the town. Abram’s loyalty to his nephew impressed Elohim and he decided to check in on Lot and see if he was grateful. The sight in Sodom and Gomorrah made Elohim recoil. Desire knew no bounds as people did whatever they wanted with little concern for the consent of others. Several flashbacks of the orphanage burst like hideous fireworks on his memory. He had to tell someone.

“Abram. I can’t leave Sodom there. I can’t. I’m sorry about Lot.” Abram began to plead with Elohim. “I know I’m asking a lot but what if there are some good people there? Will you kill them all?” Elohim felt a twinge of guilt. “I’ll try to get them out but if they won’t leave it’s on them.” “Thank you my lord Abram replied bowing his face to the ground.” Lord, that’s what the servants called Abram. Elohim kind of liked that and the whole bowing down thing was pretty flattering as well. Unfortunately another unpleasant memory popped up at that moment turning his attention back to Sodom.

Projecting the image of two men down onto the earth, Elohim walked them into the city. Lot happened to be sitting near the front gate of the city and immediately recognized that they weren’t from the area. “My friends” he called out, “do you have somewhere to stay tonight?” One of the men spoke up “no. we will sleep under the stars tonight”. “No, you must stay at my house” Lot insisted. Finally accepting, the men walked down the street gathering the attention of numerous of the rougher element of the city. Quickening their pace Lot reached his home and ushered the visitors inside hastily barring the door behind them. Voices could be heard outside but then shortly thereafter they receded. “What are you doing here?” Lot asked. “We actually are here because your Uncle Abram pleaded with Him (the man nodded at the ceiling) to spare you when he destroys this city. Lot’s wife gasped. “He can’t destroy this place, it’s our home. It’s beautiful and I get such wonderful clothes from all the designers here.” “I’m sorry, but he can do whatever he wants to and this place is done for” the other visitor replied. Suddenly there was a commotion outside the front door as someone began beating on it. “Send them out Lot. We’re going to have a good time tonight!” Lot pleaded with the crowd to be reasonable evening offering his two daughters to satisfy their desires but they wouldn’t be cajoled.

One of the visitors exploded the door in a burst of energy blinding the men outside. “Let’s go. Now!” The visitors ordered. Lot and his daughters didn’t need a second invitation but Satima was a different story. One of the visitors grabbed her and began dragging her out of the city as she screamed for Lot to help her. When they had reached a hill a short ways off, the man released his grip on Satima. “Get as far away from here as you can and don’t look back” they instructed turning back towards the city. As the family scrambled up another hill they could hear the sound of explosions in the distance and could smell the scent of burning flesh. Satima sobbed for several minutes before she stopped and turned to look at what was once her home. Her affinity for the city disgusted and angered Elohim. Sending a bolt of lightning, he killed Satima on the spot, her cells crystallizing into a giant pillar of salt due. The intensity of the jolt performing some sort of mineral impregnation from the soil where she stood. Satima was the second person Elohim had killed although the first one was in self defense in his world and had been somewhat by accident. Lot and his daughters shrieked terrified by what had become of their mother. A moment of guilt passed through Elohim but he ignored it - this kind of power felt good!

Returning his attention back to Abram Elohim informed him what had happened to further spread the knowledge of his power. Abram became reticent for a bit till Elohim reassured him that “I have no plans to do anything like that to you. I want to be friends and make you rich and be friends with your kids and their kids. It’s going to be great. All you have to do is cut open some animals as a sacrifice and I’ll know you are serious.” In those days, many people sacrificed to various gods so it wasn’t too far fetched to think that this god talking to him would want the same thing. The energy released as the blood poured out caused strange things to happen environmentally due to the miniscule dilution of the human species. Observation of this fact had come about when Noah had sacrificed some animals after the ship landed. His family protested saying “it was a foolish waste of resources” but then the rainbow appeared and it didn’t seem so foolish anymore.

Later that evening Abram did as instructed down to the last little trivial instruction and waited. Elohim put Abram in a trance like state while he proceeded to burn up all the sacrifices. When Abram woke up and saw the aftermath he was convinced that he must be onto something special. Elohim was growing tired finally and turned into bed. Early the next morning Elohim was woken up by Mary knocking on his door. “Wake up sweetie! It’s the first day of the Rohoth Feast.” Elohim sprung out of bed at the mention of the holiday. Rohoth was a special celebration starting on a Saturday and lasting a week, where many of the Schlems in the region would get together, camp and have fun remembering the time their ancestors were supposedly saved miraculously from decimation at the hand of the Krolks.

Chapter 19
Normally Remi wouldn’t use the vehicle on Saturday but since the new upgrade to the operating system, the whole interface was voice controlled and speaking wasn’t really considered work. As the family piled into the hover car a video call came through on the vehicles display. The call was a former neighbor of Mary and Remi, Lucinda, a 68 year old woman who still fancied herself 42 and had the tact of Tunisian Devil. Elohim caught the look between his parents: an expression of panic mixed with angst. “If we don’t answer, she’s going to just pop over unannounced” Mary whispered. Remi nodded. “Elohim, I forgot my prayer shawl inside. Do you mind running inside to get it?” He wasn’t a dullard and knew that the shawl was a pretense although Remi did always bring it with him to meetings so maybe not. A jumble of thoughts bounced around in his mind but what did he really have to be concerned about? Without even waiting for the proximity key for the lock Elohim hopped out and ran for the door popping the dead bolt open with his mind.

“Hey Lucinda, it’s been a while” Mary tried to sound happy to see her. “Oh you two are just darling. You know we miss you over here at temple. Hell the whole goddamn neighborhood misses you too.” Mary and Remi winced at the expletive but Lucinda seemed not to notice and prattled on “I don’t know why you had to move clear across the state. It’s so far away from everything and so goddamned expensive”. “Lucinda, would you mind not cursing? Rabbi Benjamin says” Lucinda cut Mary short “Ha! You know how many times I caught that old schmuck staring at me after I got my tits done last year?” She squeezed them for effect. Remi looked away quickly pretending he hadn’t noticed when Mary snapped her eyes over to him. Feeling a little emboldened by a bit of anger Mary shot back “I thought you and Rabbi Benjamin went to school together. Maybe he just likes women that are age appropriate for him.” Lucinda threw her head back and laughed. “Age is just a number in your mind. Ben acts like a 95 year old pervert. I’ll always be young.” The conversation was becoming a verbal squash match so no one realized that Elohim was back until he opened the door and he slipped into the back seat. Mary and Remi froze the panic returning to their faces. “Okay Lucinda, we have to run. Good talking to you” Remi reached for the button on the touch screen to hang up the call (a violation of his rules). “Wait” Lucinda commanded and Remi’s hand involuntarily stopped. “Oh my god! Daniel? No that can’t be.” For once Lucinda was speechless and it was Mary who retained her composure. “We have to go. Bye”. Lucinda waved “Hi Danie....” Mary pressed hang up, arranged her face into a tense smile and turned to Elohim.

Elohim had a quizzical look on his face but just handed the shawl to Remi and didn’t say a word. Mary tried to explain, “that was just an old neighbor. She’s a little off in the head. Sorry you had to see that.”  Elohim could sense that he wasn’t being told the entire truth and the 20 minute trip to the meeting passed in awkward silence. Remi tried to chatter about the playoff game that would happen the next day (something he generally wouldn’t discuss on a holy day) but when Elohim didn’t engage, Remi fell silent.

When the families arrived, the children went to a separate room for the first half of the day where they reviewed the ancient chants that had been passed down for thousands of years. “Blessed are you Lord God, King of the Universe…” etc. At the end of the three day celebration the youth would give a performance displaying their indoctrination through song, dance and recitation. Usually the most attentive child in the room, Elohim was completely distracted running through what he had heard in the car. Much of the lesson went in one ear and out the other and before he knew it, his family was heading home for the night. All of the families would come back the next day to set up camp in the daylight once the Sabbath was over. “There would be all kinds of activities to look forward to this week” Mary told her son on the way home. “We’ll be back tomorrow but won’t camp out till probably Wednesday. Your father couldn’t get all the time off of work this year.” Elohim wasn’t listening. All he could think about was who’s Daniel?

Everyday before the fun would begin, the children would participate in Atta. Atta was and old Schlemish word that meant “to help”. It was mostly named Atta though after someone said “atta girl” after Harriet had kindly gone above and beyond the task of cleaning Mrs. Hawthorns gutters and had washed the windows as well. Sunday morning Elohim was tasked with mowing the lawns of three widows on the block which he actually enjoyed. Watching the blades spin around on the push powered mower, his mind blanked out unlike it ever had before while trying to meditate. He was so lost in nothingness that he jumped when Sarah tapped him on the shoulder. “C’mon silly. You’ve mown two extra lawns. Atta boy” she said with a silly grin. Sarah was 17 and lived in Elohim’s community. She had long brown hair, olive skin with curves in all the right places. Her height was probably one of the things that made all the young boys think they had a chance. At 5’ 1” she wasn’t much taller than several of the boys and marriages with large age disparities were not uncommon in their culture (although usually it was the older men marrying a much younger woman).

The rest of the afternoon was spent swimming in the lake which Elohim thoroughly enjoyed. He had never actually been before since the pool filter broke at the orphanage well before he took up residence. Saying goodbye to his friends Elohim headed to find Mary and tell her about the wonderful day he had had. His mother was delighted to hear how well her son was fitting into his life and called Remi on the way home to share the news. As soon as they got in the door, Elohim scampered off to his room to check in on Abram. His friend had taken to calling himself Abraham and had finally had the son he had been hoping for when he turned 100. It wasn’t without some ill conceived (no pun intended) attempts though. Abraham had a boy, Ishmael, with one of his servants that he had become rather attached to. When Isaac was born Sarah became insanely jealous and began mistreating Ishmael to the point Abraham decided it would be better to send Hagar and Ishmael away than to keep them around. Elohim watched as Abraham packed up a mule with some provisions, told his son and Hagar bye and wept as he smacked the donkey on its ass sending it off into the desert. This upset Elohim and he pounded his fist on the table. “Everything okay in there?” Mary called. “Yes ma’am” Elohim replied cooly. “I’ll look after your son as well and he will become great too” Elohim promised Hagar while creating a well of water for them to drink out of.

Keeping an eye on both sons, Elohim thought about Isaac and how he felt about the love for one son but not the other. It didn’t seem fair...As long as they remained loyal to him, then I guess it’s okay. But how I know for sure? 30 minutes later, by the time Isaac was a teenager, Elohim had a plan. Instructing Abraham to make a sacrifice of his favorite son would show how loyal Abraham was. Of course he wouldn’t let Abraham actually kill Isaac - he didn’t think anyway. As Isaac let his father tie him up and put him on the altar, raising the knife, Elohim decided he definitely couldn’t let him go through with it. “Abraham, now I know that you love me. Sacrifice this ram”. Elohim willed a ram into a thicket behind Abraham which he quickly swapped places with Isaac on the altar. On the way back down the mountain Isaac had some choice words about the day's events but Abraham cautioned him “God does things in ways that we cannot understand. You survived didn’t you?” Isaac had to grudgingly agree but still, you weren’t the one about to be sacrificed old man.
Abraham passed away while Elohim ate dinner with his parents that evening, and Isaac already had two boys by the time Elohim got back to his monitor at bedtime. The two sons of Isaac - Esau and Jacob, had a fierce competition going on and were seemingly on the verge of killing each other most months. Jacob, being Isaac’s second favorite, naturally stood out to Elohim as the one to root for. Sure, Jacob did some shady shit but Elohim couldn’t really blame him. One night while Jacob was sleeping Elohim willed another energy being, as a conduit for himself to interact with Jacob. When the being tapped Jacob on the shoulder it startled him. Leaping up Jacob grabbed the figure and began to try and subdue it. This was not a reaction Elohim had expected but he was curious how this would play out since it was the first time he had to exert himself this way.

The two wrestled till the sun was about to come up without either prevailing. Am I getting weaker? I should be beating him. A headache starting to develop, Elohim spoke to Jacob “You pass. We can be friends too”. Wanting the last word Elohim said touched Jacob's hip with a jolt scarring the muscles, permanently making him limp. ‘Thank you” Jacob replied falling on his face like his grandfather Abraham had.

Isaac died shortly thereafter and due to some trickery Jacob had pulled, he received Esau's inheritance becoming quite prosperous. Jacob had fathered numerous children hoping to raise an army in the event that Esau found him and exacted revenge. As the children grew it became clear that Joseph was their father’s favorite son simply because he was born to Jacob’s favorite wife, Rebecca. Elohim turned a blind eye to the unequal love because had a fondness for Rebecca remembering his friend at the orphanage who had showed him so much kindness. Elohim only saw how the other boys hated Jacob which made him further care about Joseph and his future. One night when Joseph was in late teens, he was praying before bed. Elohim displayed a vision in the air of all his family bowing down to him. Not having the restraint of wisdom, but also because he wanted to gloat, Joseph told his family the dream the next morning. Even Jacob disapproved of the pompous display. “You need to be more humble” he told his son leaving Joseph feeling confused and hurt.  

The dream was forgotten by Jacob shortly however, but no one else had let it slip from their minds. Intense hatred and jealousy bred through the other half-brothers till one day a few of Jacob’s sons sold Joseph off to some slavers. Putting on their best grief stricken act, the brothers presented Joseph’s special coat torn and bloodied to their father. “We found this on our way back from the grazing pastures. He must have been killed by a wild animal.” Jacob was distraught and when Elohim tried to talk to console him and explain what had happened, Jacob shut him out. Meanwhile Joseph rotted in prison after being accused of trying to rape his master’s wife after he wouldn’t succumb to her sexual desires. Impressed by Joseph’s resolve, Elohim determined to set things straight.

It had quit raining on the marble shortly after Joseph was thrown in prison for reasons Elohim couldn’t deduce, but crops began to die spreading famine far and wide. The famine progressed till Egypt was one of the last places with food to be had. After trying numerous things, including putting dropperfulls of water on the planet, Elohim realized that the alignment of the moon had gotten off which was affecting the tides and therefore the entire planet's ecosystem. While he worked on finding the correct orbit for the moon, Elohim whispered thoughts into Joseph’s ears encouraging him, reminding him of the dream from years before. People were always having bizarre dreams in the prison, (something about inhaling the stench of human waste while you slept). Joseph being a natural leader, honest and hard working was put in charge of the prison. This made many of the other prisoners look up to him and when they would be terrified by a dream, they would talk to him. Joseph had a way of making sense of the nonsense that came out of the other captives heads.

One morning two men who had both served the Pharaoh came to Joseph freaked out by their dreams. They had been the cupbearer and baker respectively till they angered their master landing them in prison. As Joseph and Elohim listened to their dreams, Elohim saw an opportunity. The baker was a nebbish man who was rather annoying. Always complaining about something Joseph informed him that his dream described his soon to be played out demise. The cupbearer on the other hand, who Joseph hung out with a lot, was going to be given his job back in the near future. He really only wanted to freak the baker out and was hoping that maybe with a more positive outlook, the cupbearer would find a way out of the dungeon soon. It wasn’t that much of a long shot to predict that Amon, the cupbearer, would be set free. The job wasn’t exactly something people wanted considering you were the fail safe against assassination attempts through poisoned drinks. Joseph had heard that the last two men given the task had become so nervous at the perpetual thought that death could strike with every sip, threw themselves off the wall to their deaths. As he left the cell he told his friend “Remember me when you get out Amon.”

Elohim saw an opportunity and made sure that every word in the interpretation of the dreams came true. The baker was hung and the Amon was returned to his job out of necessity. Of course being on thin ice, Amon did his job and kept to himself not wanting to anger Pharaoh with the mention of a common prisoner / slave. Elohim gritted his teeth. Do I have to do everything? As the Pharaoh slept that night, Elohim whispered thoughts and images into the king's mind causing him to wake in a terrified state. After watching all the sorcerers try to explain the dream, none of them pleasing the Pharoah, Amon spoke up. “There is a man in the prison named Joseph who can tell you what will happen. He did it for me and the baker and everything he said came true.” Joseph was sent for immediately, and deposited before the great leader. Knowing he had the rain system figured out now, Elohim let Joseph in on the plan - there were seven years before the drought would hit Egypt and then seven years of famine. This interpretation came with such confidence that it resonated with Pharoah. “I’m going to put you in charge of making sure we have enough stored up to ration out” he told Joseph. Prisoner to second in the kingdom. Not too shabby. Joseph, and the entire family for that matter, had been through enough and it was time to give them a break. The famine had forced Jacob and his family into Egypt where they were surprised and overjoyed to be reunited. Elohim cried as the family was brought back together and all was forgiven. Turning off the power to his wall monitor he climbed in bed. Maybe some people do really love despite anything that happens he thought drifting off to sleep.

The next morning Elohim jumped out of bed ready for another day of Atta. Helping others felt good, made Elohim feel like a good person and not so much of a freak. All the children were given a trash bag, poking stick and sent into a park to pick up litter with an adult partner. Not only did it help the park look better but it protected animals from the trash and instilled respect for the environment into the children. Elohim had the good fortune of being paired with Sarah which garnered much jealousy from the other boys. As the two filled their bags, they talked getting to know each other better. Elohim was still not much of a conversationalist and was hesitant to talk at first so Sarah gently asked questions to try and loosen him up. "What's your favorite thing to do Elohim?" Stabbing at a piece of garbage, Elohim screwed up his face and shrugged his shoulders. The marbles were a secret but it was tempting to share it with Sarah. No, she might think I'm weird. I really don't want her to think I'm a freak. "I like to painting I guess" Elohim said half heartedly. "What about you?" he replied trying to take the attention off himself.

Sarah talked for a few minutes about her love for the endangered Kimko Bears and sun bathing. Elohim pictures her naked lying in the sun like he had seen Eve do so many times. He quickly turned away to hide the small bulge growing in his pants. After a few minutes of silence Elohim blurted out "how long have you known my parents?" "Oh only for the last year after they moved to our community. Why?" "Do you like them?" He asked warily. "Oh of course! Why do you ask that?" Sarah suddenly seemed way more interested than before. Elohim turned a tinge of red uncomfortable with the question. "Uh no reason I guess." Sarah smiled brightly at Elohim knowing better than to press the issue. "Come on" she said grabbing her bag "let's go get some water".

Later that afternoon when all the children were sitting under a pavilion eating frozen carrots dipped in chocolate, Sarah announced that they would practice the performance they were putting on at the end of the week. Lost in thoughts flipping back and forth between who is Daniel and Sarah sunbathing, Elohim didn’t hear his name being called repeatedly. “Elohim! Earth to Elohim” the Sarah called out. The laughter of the other children snapped him out of his head and his eyes focused on Sarah’s angelic face. Meeting his gaze she addressed him again “Elohim, you know this passage don’t you? Would you like to come help? Have you practiced at home?” Elohim nodded. Usually he would have run from being the center of attention but he would do anything for Sarah.

Up at the front of the room Elohim stared out blankly into the faces of the other children. “Who’s Daniel?” Elohim blurted out. “Do you mean King Daniel our great ancestor?” Sarah asked? “No. She said I look like him. Is he famous?” Sarah was clueless as to what Elohim was asking “I don’t know. Maybe you should ask your parents? Are you ready to lead us?” “Okay” he said and closed his eyes to focus trying to recall the passage. “I know Daniel” a voice said shattering his concentration Elohim’s eyes snapping open. Mattie, a precocious 8 year old was staring at Elohim. “Daniel was their boy before you but he went away because he was bad and then they moved away. I used to play with him at my Gam’s house but he was kind of mean.” Elohim stared at Mattie mouth agape. “My mommy said there was a prophecy about a someone like you. They said you are special. Are you special?” Elohim didn’t know what to say so he said nothing becoming embarrassed. Not receiving a response Matti rolled her eyes and sarcastically threw out a “You’re welcome!” She then turned to whisper to one of her friends whose eyes grew wide. The friend raised her hand “Miss Sarah, what’s a shemale?” Sarah was caught off guard by the question. “Where did you hear that?” She inquired stalling for time to collect her thoughts. Matti spoke up “my mommy said that’s what the prophecy was about, a shemale”. She pointed at Elohim. Elohim looked out at the children and he could feel it all over again just like at the orphanage -  “freak!” Meanwhile a torrent of thoughts had played in Elohim’s mind. They had another boy that looked just like me? Did they kill him or send him back because he was bad? Will they keep me? How long did they know about this prophecy before they came and got me?  When Matti pointed at him and said “shemale” Elohim lost control of his bladder, pissing his pants, a big puddle forming on the floor. “Ewww. Daniel never did that” Mattie said and all the children laughed again. For a split second it felt like the room froze and nothing moved except the urine dripping down Elohim’s leg. He looked down and saw that it wasn’t just yellow on the floor, there was blood mixed in with it as well. “Stop it right now” Sarah said sternly turning to Elohim. “I’m so sorry. Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned... “ but Elohim had found his legs again and was already making a beeline for the door.

Chapter 20
Thankfully the park the children had been cleaning up was around the corner from Elohim’s community. Running home he tore through the front door and straight to the bathroom ripping off the soiled clothes and jumping in the shower. Mary had been in the kitchen cooking a meal for the evenings festivities when she heard the door slam and went to investigate. "Elohim?" Mary called out then listened hearing the water running. "Poor child is going to have a cold shower if I don't turn on the heater." She shook her head and smiled walking to the utility cabinet in the kitchen flipping the switch to the electric heater. Knocking at the front door drew Mary's attention. "One second" she called bustling over to the entry way. Sarah was standing on the front porch breathless. "Is Elohim here?" she asked concern in her voice. "Yes, he's in the shower. What's wrong?" Sarah explained the day's events quickly bringing Mary up to speed. "I'm so sorry. It all happened before I could intervene. Please let me know how he is okay?" Mary thanked Sarah for coming over, promised she would keep her apprised and closed the door. Leaning against the door she did her best to keep the tears in. This is what she had been worried about, but they had known it might be difficult from the onset of the journey.

Mary waited 15 minutes before she began to get worried. "Elohim, are you okay sweetie?" "GO AWAY!" Elohim screamed. A crash followed as the child threw the bar of soap into the mirror shattering it. Concerned for his safety Mary opened the door and peeked in. Elohim was sitting on the floor of the shower, piece of glass in one hand letting the water run over him. Hearing the door open he snapped his head over. Mary noticed the blood in the tub and thought he had cut himself. “Oh sweetie, you’re bleeding. Let me help you.” At the mention of the blood, Elohim willed the remaining shards of glass in Mary’s direction. Shrieking, Mary pulled the door shut feeling blood run down the right side of her face. One of the pieces of glass had barely nicked her cheek as it flew by. Leaning against the door to catch her breath and collect her wits Mary began to cry. The couple had expected some difficulty with Elohim but this was supposed to be different, this was not Daniel. Through the door Elohim heard the quiet sobs which slowly softened his rage allowing the emotional exhaustion to set in causing him to fall asleep in the shower.

Afraid to open the door again Mary left a message for Remi asking him to come home from work at once briefly explaining the situation. While she waited to hear back from her husband, Mary contemplated what to do. After several minutes of not movement in the bathroom she grew worried that Elohim had hurt himself and motherly instincts took precedence over self preservation. "Elohim, I'm coming in there okay?" She said half asking for permission as she eased the door open. The sight of the broken mirror and blood on the floor made her heart stop. Turning to the tub she found the child asleep as blood trickled from one foot down the drain in a swirl of light red tendrils as warm water washed over her child.

Mary turned off the water gently wrapping Elohim in a towel so he wouldn't freeze while she waited for Remi to get home. "I wish I could take all your pain away" she whispered through tears. 30 minutes later Remi walked in the door. "Mary, where are you? What's going on?" "In the bathroom" she called out quietly afraid to wake Elohim. Remi walked into the bathroom surveying the scene for a full minute before asking any questions. Putting her finger to her lips Mary motioned towards the hallway. "What the hell happened?" Remi asked touching the cut on his wife's cheek. In hushed tones Mary explained the events that had exploded over the last two hours. Remi listened with growing concern especially when Mary mentioned the flying glass. "I don't know where it even came from or how he was able to throw it so forcefully. I'm scared Remi". Mary buried her face in his chest squeezing her arms tightly around him.

"I'll take tomorrow off and we'll talk with him. If he doesn't want to open up to us, well, I guess we'll figure that out later." "Do you think he's going to be okay?" Mary asked hoping for some reassurance. "I'm sure everything will be fine. This is probably just a bump in the road that he'll forget in the morning. Let's get him into bed" he said and then kissed Mary on top of her head. As the couple lay beside each other in bed that evening neither of Elohim’s parents spoke for a while. “I guess we aren’t helping things by calling Elohim him are we. I was hoping that we would have more time to adjust before trying to bring that reality around.” Remi exhaled slowly. “I suppose you’re right. She’s going to have to face the facts at some point. Better now than when her breasts start growing.” Mary mused sadly. “God will show us the way” Remi said kissing his wife. “Let’s go to sleep. Maybe things will be better in the morning.”

Chapter 20
Everything wasn't fine. The next day when Elohim woke up pieces of the day before began to coalesce and the anger flared up again…..

Admin: hold up, I thought Elohim was a boy?
Anonymous333: yeah, well I wanted to be my whole life so that’s what I told people. They didn't get it and tried to force it out of me along with doing regression therapy to help with the anger.
Admin: That's sounds harsh, I'm sorry. What happened?
Admin: This story is about you?!?!
Anonymous333: Yes, I suppose I could have said that at the beginning but you may not have listened then. Remi and Mary took me to numerous psychologists trying many different treatments. The regression therapy was the only thing that worked to some extent. The doctor recommended a plan where I had to stare into my parents eyes for long periods of time, never be more than a few feet away, and they had to feed me - basically the type of stuff that you would do for a baby. Slowly I started feeling less of whatever that thing was spinning around inside of me making me a little demon. I still felt like a boy but tried to dress like a girl because I came to understand that my parents did care about me and life with them was way better than the orphanage.
Admin: What was the deal with Daniel? Was he really another kid they had adopted? And what made you so angry?

This is a really fascinating perspective. Weird, but fascinating.

Anonymous333: Daniel was an actual boy they had adopted before me. The “prophecy” that had been given to my parents had stated that a transgender red head would become their child. Their love coupled with “the truth of god’s word” would “set the child free.” Daniel informed Remi and Mary that “he wasn’t going to do anything they said.” Apparently he became so irascible, constantly breaking all the rules, that they put him in a home for disturbed children. We visited him once but it was awful and I asked to never go back.

Anonymous333: I guess I was angry because I had had my birthday around that time which I had never celebrated before. We didn’t know when it was so my parents decided that during Rohoth would be a good time to celebrate. It suddenly clicked that I had missed out on this life for 9 years. All that I went through could have been avoided if they had found me instead of Daniel. I thought how could they love me and leave me there so long. It wasn’t till after my world stopped and I had time to gain context that I realized they did the best they could.

Admin: This is all fascinating and you’ve clearly done some reading of the bible to concoct all this but can you answer this - what about us then? Presuming I believe your story, did you ignore us till now or what? I mean there was this Jesus dude, supposedly proven historically…did you make up that part happen too?
Anonymous333: Lol. Sorry, but that’s kind of funny. You’re a bit too sensitive but I know you’ll get over it.
Admin: >:(
Anonymous: As I started becoming a more “normal” child, my telekinetic abilities slowly disappeared, I think maybe due to the fact that I was very tacit before then. I was always in my head and things seemed different. During the therapy I was constantly told to “use my words” which allowed me to express my feelings and get them out and resolved through logic or other people’s experiences.

Admin: How old are you now? Is like the bible says? A thousand days are really only like 1 to you?
Anonymous333: It wasn’t till recently. When the telekinesis regressed as I progressed as a child, the time dilation between our worlds became 1 year of mine equaled about 800 of yours. I got bored for the most part and quit paying attention because I couldn’t really get to know anyone. Most people were dead in a day or two of my time. Occasionally I would check in though on a weekend when I was feeling rebellious. If I tried really hard I could make minimal “miracles” happen. I could talk to you guys verbally but it wasn’t really understandable. Mostly it just freaked people out. I scared a few armies with that tactic when “my people” were in danger but that’s about it.

Admin: The original intimidating shout. Lol
Admin: You still haven’t said how old you are now. I mean I know that’s not supposed to be polite especially considering how you feel about yourself...but I’m going to pull the “extenuating circumstances card”. lol :p
Anonymous333: No worries :)l. I don’t know how old I am. I feel like I’m mid-thirties mentally finally but my body looks about the same as it did the day I turned 18.
Anonymous333: Oh, and I’m a woman and a man.
Admin: uhhhhhhhh…….come again? TWSS LMAO
Anonymous333: TWSS?
Admin: That’s What She Said. It’s like a joke people say. You take something innocuous and turn it into something about penises.
Anonymous333: *eyeroll ;)
Admin: Seriously, it’s funny. Dude in the parking lot at a concert says “back that thing right in over here” to you and a buddy in the car goes “that’s what she said” and everyone laughs. It’s dumb, I know but what is life if you can’t laugh?
Anonymous333: Lol, no it’s funny to a certain extent.

Anonymous333: When I became a teenager I started experimenting behind my parents back sexually. It wasn’t though much because nothing felt right. I was attracted to women but any girl that would experiment with me didn’t want a real penis in her (not that I had one to give) and any guys I was with made me feel gay. To my parents being gay would be worse than being a slut and I couldn’t have them find out about that.
Admin: That sounds awful!
Anonymous333: It was. The year I was 16, body modification became a really big thing. Some scientists designed a booth where you could walk in and it would change your DNA so you could walk out of there with a tail...or a horse penis. Don’t bother protesting, I know it crossed your mind.
Admin: Ok, maybe for a split second. :p
Anonymous333: Smh. I met a girl I had fallen in love with when I was 17 but she wasn’t interested in girls so I decided that when I turned 18 and wouldn’t need my parents permission, I would go and turn myself into a boy. I was actually going to call myself Jonathan which is part of the reason I noticed you.
Admin: Did it work? I mean you said you are both a male and female right?
Anonymous333: The waiver you have to sign when you use one of these things takes an hour to read through and sign. Numerous people had gone mad because they had turned too much of their body into other species. I was nervous but I already felt like I was going mad living the life I was so without a second thought, I pressed the start button. The machine kicked up and then froze at 50%. I waited for what seemed like forever for it to start again. Nothing looked like it had changed so I figured I might as well go find another machine to try out. When I stepped outside, everything around me was frozen. There was no sound but I could feel things as I walked through them. It was the weirdest experience to wander around passing through objects feeling their energy. I couldn’t pass through most animals or people though and was actually repelled by nearly all of them.

Admin: Is it still like that, I mean is everything frozen?
Anonymous333: After feeling all the different energies I wanted to, I thought I should check on my parents. Did I mention that I can move everywhere instantly? It is bizarre. Anyway...I found myself home and both my parents were frozen on the sofa mid laugh watching some movie.
Admin: I bet that freaked out you. I would be fucking tripping balls right then. Oh, about the whole not swearing thing, I hope you aren’t mad.
Anonymous333: It was a bit much to take, I’ll give you that, seeing your life stopped and lifeless.
Anonymous333: And no, I’m not upset about you swearing. It’s all in the meaning you put behind something that makes it mean something so curse away.
Admin: Ok, thanks :)

Anonymous333: After a bit of boredom I decided to check on my marbles. Maybe there was an off chance that it was still going. I could swear I felt it again like when I first put Adam and Eve on it. The rocks were there spinning, and I was grateful to have something to entertain me. I could see all of time up to that point and as I rewound and watched from the beginning, I realized that I had perpetuated a pretty awful thing imposing a religion on you guys so I tried to fix it. There had been some prophecies given about a “savior” coming to rescue people from the bondage they put each other under. It was really just a way to keep up hope and not quit but it was there, a vessel for me to use. I didn’t even have to think about it, I just knew I could control things with my mind again. The machine hadn’t taken away my breasts or vagina but, as I had discovered in my boredom, simply had added a penis, I assume I have testicles somewhere but I don’t see them. Convenient if I get in a fight from what I hear.
Admin: You have no idea….seriously. Have you been barely hit but it makes you fall to your knees and want to vomit? Our boys are sensitive.
Anonymous333: I gather.
Admin: Well welcome to the penis club….I suppose. Not much of a club really. It’s a bunch of insecure assholes mostly.
Anonymous333: Yeah that’s what I noticed but not until it was too late. I impregnated a chick named Mary and well, you know how that went. Everything happen the way the prophecies said and because it was partially my energy in Jesus, I was able to feel his energy and merge with it.

Admin: Are you going to continue?
Anonymous333: I was just making sure you were okay. Seems like I’ve completely blown your mind.
Admin: Yeah, a bit but that’s cool. Continue.
Anonymous333: Delighted : ) Through Jesus and a couple visions I gave to some other people around the same time, I tried to impart what I had learned about life. I wanted everyone to be kinder to each other, not judge each other or feel superior.
Admin: Sounds awesome. What went wrong with Jesus then?
Anonymous333: I didn’t realize that I wasn’t loving myself as I was, a male and a female in the same body. After they killed Jesus’s body, I tried to fix things some more by telling people to give up the silly rules that kept them in fear over stupid things like not eating certain foods, or mutilating their genitals. The rules didn’t mean anything but fearful people need something to latch onto to feel in control.
Admin: I guess that makes sense. Do you accept yourself now? If I’m being honest, I think women are far superior to men so I don’t understand why you want to be a man or chose me to talk to.
Anonymous333: That’s very sweet of you and yes, I accept myself now - both parts as equal but different. I am talking to you because your blog caught my eye. You are one of the most honest people I could find on the planet. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve an explanation. Honesty can’t exist with fear and fear can’t exist around love unless someone makes a conscious choice to not accept the love. I hate fear and selfishness more than anything because I’ve seen what the product of it was in my own life.

This all sounds rather plausible. If there are multiverses then is it inconceivable?

Admin: Well can I ask a few questions then? Hell, at worst this will be entertaining.
Anonymous333: Of course. Ask away : )

Jonathan thought for a few minutes about where to begin. What do I ask?

Admin: I guess my first question is where are you from? Do you not have a beginning and an end? I mean you seem to remember growing up so you must have come from somewhere.
Anonymous333: I can't really answer that because I don't know. I just have faint memories of wandering the streets trying to fend for myself until I discovered the orphanage.

Jonathan: That was less than helpful.

Anonymous333: Hey, I know what you are thinking!
Anonymous333: I'm doing my best here. Work with me a little. What are some things you always wondered about? Maybe I can answer something.
Admin: Ok, here’s one, Why did you say you were perfect when you clearly aren’t? That's kind of fucked up.

The question was aggressive but it left his fingers with the subconscious speed of a bitter reflex. She knew where he was coming from and absorbed the jab with a small smile.

Anonymous333: Isn't that what everyone does? Try to present the idea of ourself that we want others to believe; mostly, we are trying to convince ourselves by convincing others. I was a very confused child and was only trying to find love. I am sorry for the pain you and others have felt.

Jonathan: I get that. I mean I was told that God, my parents, my wife, friends etc loved me but I never felt it. I’ve definitely made choices that I thought were best at the time looking back.

Admin: Ok, understandable. So you are human.
Anonymous333: I am a sentient life form, yes.
Jonathan started wiggling about. Man I have to fucking pee. What time is it anyway? 2:05, good thing I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow.

Admin: Hold up. I have to pee really badly. Brb
Anonymous333: No problem, “I don't have anywhere to be tomorrow”

Jonathan hurried off to the bathroom, unzipped his pants and was about to whip out his penis…

Jonathan: what if that thing, shemale, whatever it claims to be, is watching me and this is all a setup?
Jonathan: Fuck it, it's not like I have much more to lose if pics of me pissing make it on the Internet.

Jonathan: (midstream hollers) “Hey what's your name anyway?” Man, I need to go get something to eat...Nah, I’ve got to see where this goes….Can’t appear too eager in case I am getting had. Gotta save at least some self respect...but man, this is pretty...I don’t know what to call it.

She realized a swell of happiness as she felt Jonathan opening up, becoming engaged. Marie watched intently as he read her answer to his shouted question.
Anonymous333: I've had a lot of names over the years. Obviously there was Elohim, I chose that off the side of a box I was sleeping in before the orphanage. I didn't even know how to say it, I just memorized it and wrote it down when I showed up. Every time I tried to make a relationship with someone new on your world I used a different name. Because everybody fucks up at some point, I was hurt a lot by them believing in me and using the name I had told them as a curse word. I didn’t want that associated with the new relationship so I kept becoming someone new.

Admin: So what is it now? Should I call you anonymous333? Btw I still have a hard time believing that you didn’t choose that username specifically.
Anonymous333: You are welcome to your doubts and skepticism but I’m telling you the truth. It came up randomly. I don’t need a name right now but if I chose one, it would be something that was somewhat common. I’ll keep that to myself though because the last thing I want is more people running around claiming they are doing evil in my name.

Admin: Can’t fault that logic. What made you accept yourself?
Anonymous333: Even though I knew it was part of the prophecies, when they killed Jesus it broke my heart. I guess I had hoped that somehow he would be able to open people’s minds -  they would understand and not kill him. For what felt like forever, I just sat and throbbed with aches of sadness until it began to subside. When I finally opened my eyes again, I saw the energy of Jesus still in the planet and it gave me some hope. I still didn’t understand that I shouldn’t meddle with my incomplete understanding and made a further mess of things. For a time I supported the people who called themselves Christians but it only seemed to perpetuate the division humanity experiences. Eventually it hit me that I shouldn’t blame others for my pain, but I also shouldn’t blame myself if I am doing my best. A weight of shame lifted off me and I felt free to love and do what I could. You are the first person I have found that seems to be open enough to accept any of this. You have kept an opened mind when it was such a struggle to go against the flow so I felt connected to you. I hoped if I talked to you and explained things I could bring you some peace.

Jonathan was shaking his head in agreement and astonishment.

Admin: Wow! This is incredible. So the religions were sort of right but not. Haha, that sounds like something you would say ;) Fuck! Am I flirting with a boy-girl? Crap, he probably heard that. Quick, change the subject.
Admin: Soo uhh, what is going to happen then? Are we spinning till we burn out?
Admin: What about your world? Is there a god that made your world?
Admin: Or is it just another kids experiment in another dimension?
Admin: HOLY SHIT!! My head is exploding. Lol.
Anonymous333: Calm down boy! Haha. I get it, this is all so weird. I know it's frustrating but I can't answer what will happen, or anything about other worlds. The closest I can tell you about God is that if there is a "God", it is probably both a man and a woman somehow. Not to imply that I think I am God because I know there was shit here before me. I'm just saying that it seems that would be the most likely scenario.
Anonymous333: Sounds kind of crazy doesn't it?
Admin: No, it actually makes sense, I think.
Anonymous333: What makes sense about it to you?

Marie waited anxiously, surprised at her own anticipation. She giggled nervously.

Admin: Well you can't have life without both parts and so therefore where would we have come from? Makes sense that a male and female species would have to come from a male and female God. But if you look at many of the problems in the world, they are caused by men and women being divided. So the disconnect could possibly be due to the separation of sexes on our planets. Maybe you understand better now because you feel what a dual being would feel and can relate to both sides.

Admin: ??
Anonymous333: What would that look like? I mean you know the astrological signs for men and women, how would you combine it?"
Marie: That was out of no where!
Jonathan: Is that those two circles with straight line and ….
Admin: hang on, let me google them.
Admin: Hey can we video chat?
Anonymous333: We could but I don't want you to take a picture and have anyone you show it to think that I am what God looks like. Kind of like the thing with the name.
Admin: Ok, whatever. :/
Jonathan: Maybe you dodged a bullet there dude.
Anonymous333: Ahem!

Jonathan felt his face flush.

Admin: Symbols...right.

A quick google search turned up the required images.

Admin: After staring at the images for a minute, my first thought is it would be something like this. The circles overlap to form one body and the sexes are paired like this. The only issue is that the the male and female symbols are drawn on different planes. LED.png

Anonymous333: huh…

Jonathan: wtf does that mean? “Huh…”

Marie: I don’t know what I meant by that. It feels like something rung a bell that is vibrating in my stomach.

Admin: You know that is almost the schematic symbol for an LED. Just add two little arrows as photons shooting off. Wait, why am I typing all this. You can read my mind and just write back.
Anonymous333: Sorry about that, I should have suggested you quit typing a while ago. A diode? Something about this doesn’t feel coincidental.
Jonathan: Beats me.

Marie scratched her head.
Marie: why is it the same as a diode?
Marie: guess I’ll brush up on PN junctions mechanics on the internet…..
Marie: really? diodes can generate electricity under bright light?

Jonathan: are you still there?

Admin: Are you still there?
Anonymous333: Sorry, distracted with what you just put into my head. Hang on for a bit. BRB.

Jonathan: What the fuck is happening? This “god” who isn’t “god” just said that basically both of the opposing points of view are correct to some extent. That’s a mind bender right there. Irony at it’s finest.

Placing his head on the desk waiting, Jonathan fell asleep feeling like his brain had just been put through a blender.
Marie sat perfectly still concentrating on drawing in all the digital research archived in Jonathan's world. Articles on particles, piezoelectricity, astrological signs, DNA, brain mechanics, color, temperature, quantum physics, physiology, current / voltage - one thought led to another which each birthed several other paths of inquiry. Eventually they all wrapped up connecting to each other - the puzzle completed.
Marie: Holy fuck! (Marie gasped - mind blown.) Oh shit, Jonathan!

Marie: "Jonathan! wake up!"

Marie nudged him slightly making a coffee cup slide off the desk and crash on the floor. Waking up with a start, he looked around and saw nothing. What time is is? 2:13. Only two minutes since the last time I checked….weird.

Jonathan: Did you just talk to me or am just having a really weird dream?

He sounded irritated.

Marie: "Don't be grumpy. I can tell you how big the universe is. That pique your interest?"  

Marie grinned as Jonathan sat up straighter, focused.

Jonathan: Ok, lay it on me.
Marie: "First off, this is no accident that we are talking. Subconsciously I chose you because I was supposed to. With your degree in physics and complete dedication to both creationism whilst in religion (and then evolution once you walked away), you'll understand better than anyone what I'm about to tell you."

Marie paused thinking about the best way to order the information.

Marie: "The universe is 300,000,000 meters across.”
Jonathan: “Bullshit. That's the speed of light and the sun alone is 93,000,000 million miles away because it takes like 8 minutes for it’s light to get here….Maybe you're right, we are meant to talk so I can correct your theories with facts. You have a really nice voice by the way."
Marie smiled and gave an eyeroll.

Marie: "Listen, just shut up and let me finish."

She smirked as Jonathan rolled his eyes and huffed sitting back in his chair.

Marie: "There are symbols in every civilization that have transcended because they actually are clues from those who have gotten a peek into the "other side" or were here before. The diode symbol in the circle unlocked everything so thanks for that."
Jonathan: you're welcome...I suppose....
Jonathan: Damn. Did someone slip acid into my food?....Nope, I've been in all day and there is no way I'm this high on caffeine.
Marie: I know you are skeptical but hear me out.
Jonathan: Now this is some trippy shit. You are in my head aren't you?

Marie smiled.

Jonathan: I can feel the warmth of your smile. : ) Back to the diode.
Marie: Yes, diodes.
Jonathan could feel waves of happiness roll through, over and around him like the perfect spring day when a cool breeze caresses you as the sun warms you.

Marie: This is nice…
Jonathan: Amen

It was the first time he had ever used that word and not felt at least a little weird saying it.

Marie: A diode works, by protons on the P side pushing through holes / electrons on the N side. The  > side represents the female/electron. The horizontal line running through the middle is just the neutron conduit. The vertical line represents the the Protons / male energy. The reason the triangle is closed |> is because it is denoting proton energy entering and then leaving out the other side. Electrons are considered a negative charge but negative is also an equal but opposite voltage in a sine wave. Why couldn't that be a symbol for the two forces in the universe.
Jonathan: Good and Evil?
Marie: Male and female. Get it?
Jonathan: This is like when someone points out a shape in a cloud and you try really hard to see it and then you say “oh yeah I see it...I think”. That’s how I feel right now.
Marie: I hear you. I don't really know how I made the leap that started unraveling everything because there were a million little things that all were part of it. It's hard to pinpoint it to one thing. The Asian symbol for peace flashed through my mind while I was researching diodes. Part of the ideogram is this symbol right here.Peace.jpg
It is the diode symbol but without the circle.
Jonathan: Isn’t that kind of like the peace symbol from the 70s?
Marie: Yes, it is but they were missing it in the 70’s.
Jonathan: How so?
Marie: I’ll explain that later. Yin-Yang.jpg

Marie: Are you ready for it? The universe is a spherical yin-yang symbol made out of a sea of piezomagnetic / piezoelectric material (frozen gas in perfect crystalline structure). Once activated by proton energy, an elastic electron canal accepts the energy. At the beginning of the cycle, current is maximum but voltage is minimum. The pressure from the build up of protons stretches the canal into a funnel shape squeezing the current all the way through. As the current passes through the funnel, it radiates every frequency in every intensity.

Jonathan: How does it create the frequencies sets in their various intensities?

Marie: It’s like going into an anechoic chamber. The foam wedges absorb different frequencies at the different thicknesses. If you send a charge through a metal cone it will do the same thing but in reverse. As to the varying intensities, the canal funnel is elastic and always trying to go back to it’s single-proton-in-diameter shape. As it lowers the current, the voltage rises just like water from a pressure washer. When it gets to the end of the funnel, it dumps into the top of a funnel on it’s opposite side (there are four parts total). Both funnels are connected in a loop keeping the oscillation going. At the end of each funnel, temperature is at absolute 0 creating a superconductor for the current to follow. Voltage has reached maximum as current has reached minimum. Protons shoot out to the other funnel piling up until critical field is breached. An EMF force is generated causing the current to dump through the next funnel.

Jonathan: So it’s perpetual motion? That’s not supposed to be possible.
Marie: In this configuration each side counteracts the other because two reverse polarity signals of the same frequency will cancel each other out. There are two 1Hz waves of opposite polarity powering the universe - the proton and it’s anti-proton. If you look at a heat scale, it's actually a loop with a value of infinite heat - 0 - infinite cold. Each declination of temperature is met by it’s equal and opposite top to bottom and side to side. This setup renders the average true temperature to be 0 degrees - super conductance all the time. Imagine the white as red (hot) and the black as blue (cold). That is a slight misnomer however because when you cross the line, everything flips.

Jonathan: Why the white and black? Good and Evil? or is one side male and the other female?
Marie: What is your obsession with good and evil? smh. It’s not male or female either. When all the visible spectrum combines it creates white light. If you mix all the primary colors gels and shine a white light through it, you only have blackness. That’s because the “reverse polarity” cancels each other out. Either side you are on would look white to you whilst the everything on the other side would appear dark.

Jonathan: That’s a pretty clever setup dare I say design? j/k
Marie: It’s just how things work.
Jonathan: So what is the purpose of all this? And you haven’t proven anything directly related to my universe. Ya, know the sun being 93,000,000 miles away aka 1.49668992e+11 Meters away.
Marie: Ahh, the old purpose question. The universe is a quantum computer constantly expanding, running a computation with every cycle. I said the universe is 300,000,000 M across because that’s the length of a one hertz wave. I realized that as the 1Hz wave moved through the canal creating all the frequencies, it was also bringing both sides together on every level. Quantum particles are, to date, found to connected irrespective of time or space. It only goes to reason that this schematic is the perfect setup.

Jonathan: That’s all well and good but then why is the sun 93,000,000 miles away?
Marie: Let’s do some more math: the speed of light in feet is 186,000 feet per second supposedly. Divide that in half and what do you have? 93,000 miles - which is where the sun is, in the center of the universe.
Jonathan: Yes, but you just said "feet" and came out with miles when you divided? And what do you mean the “supposedly” for the speed of light?
Marie: That’s because the measurements are different. Speed of light first then distance conversions. The reason quantum particles can connect irrespective of time or space is because they are at such a low frequency, their waves are everywhere within 300,000,000 Meters instantly. The speed of light is not a constant but instead is inversely proportional to it’s size. Imagine holding a jump rope out with a friend. You begin to start sending an oscillation down it, to be returned by the person on the other end. If you want to get a faster oscillation you will either have to rip the rope out of the other person's hand or get closer together. As frequency increases, voltage increases which is like adding more powder to a bullet as the lead shrinks.
Jonathan: I suppose that could be true.

Marie: Do you know how they measure 1 meter?
Jonathan: The size some guy wished his dick was? :p
Marie: LoL. No but good try. A meter is the distance light travels in 1/300,000,000 of a second. Do you see it?
Jonathan: ummm...okay but all that’s proving is that the speed of light is still 300,000,000 m/s.
Marie: Yes. Let me answer the mile question. The one foot unit was from a measurement taken of 11 random folks in a village way back. Feet are that average size because we only exist in each footstep of time. Feet are a measurement of our relational perception of time as we move through it based on our oscillation frequency. Meters are us standing still observing time pass...
Jonathan: So you are saying that each foot represents one step - a change in each side of the oscillation.
Marie: Yes!! Yes!!! The universe viewed from the inside appears light on the side you are on and dark on the other. From the outside; however, it is simply a glowing orb - the sun.

Jonathan shook his head. This is really crackpot science.

Jonathan: I have lots of objections but first, you still haven’t explained how a mile equals one foot. That doesn't make any sense.
Marie: Oh yeah, this goes back to the Big Bang.
Jonathan: So there really was a Big Bang? Sweet!
Marie: Yes. Let me finally fill in the mile gap.The reason a mile is the same length as a foot is because they measured the amount of times a team of oxen could plow a furrow in a day. A furlong is 660 feet which is almost the number of man but they had to rest before they could go on. A mile is 8 furlong because the cycle resets not having come to full term. Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol-La-Ti-Do - new octave.
Jonathan: What does that have to do with the big bang and “8 cycles not having come to full term?”

Marie: The universe is comprised of three types of energy as we’ve discussed: Protons, Electrons and Neutrons. In proper balance the male energy moves through the female canal providing the woman all she needs to make beauty and in the end, a new universe birthed after 9 cycles. Each particle has an antiparticle (not to be confused with anti-matter) which creates the reverse polarity oscillations. The Big Bang is actually one of many that have happened through all of infinity. Each cycle the electron circle expands slightly drawing in both matter and antimatter like a drag net magnet. Antimatter is fear, anger, pride, selfishness etc. The antimatter protons corrupted the protons. “Do you see all that you do for her? You could be that beautiful too!” Finally convinced, the 1hz wave began to vibrate itself raising the voltage to maximum and current to minimum. The oscillation shrunk the orb down compressing it till the proton stream released at full speed. The electron canal couldn't absorb the tiny stream, only letting out a tremendous low frequency groan of agony as it ripped through the tunnel.

Jonathan: The bible did say "all creation groans". I've heard the earth has a low frequency resonance and even sounds like moans if you listen to them....Let me guess, when the high voltage got to the end of the funnel it collided with its anti-proton energy creating a tremendous explosion.
Marie: You're getting it aren't you? You are starting to see how it all works. You are feeling the universe.
Jonathan: That or having a stroke.

Marie: Hey now! Lol... Here’s a slightly more graphic perspective. The male saw the beauty of the female and wanted to be like her. Instead of taking the opportunity to do his job and “energize” his woman, he looked out at the beauty of another woman and began to jerk himself off. When he believed in his mind that he was going to have that beauty for himself, he exploded. Most of the energy was contained in the sphere but some blew holes into the universe. Black holes are a female energy drawing in through gravity, energy that will be striped down to it’s most basic level so as to be whole again.

Jonathan: Basically you’re saying the universe is proverbially getting fucked once a second?
Marie: Not proverbially, literally. Why do you think people have such an affinity for that word?
Jonathan: What, fuck?
Marie: Yes.
Jonathan: I don’t know. Probably because they don’t know any others?
Marie: No, it’s because it’s powerful. Look how many cultures have worshipped sex and genitalia. It’s because they contain the power to give life and that is something only a god can do. Anyone or anything can kill, but to make life, no - that’s something special.

Jonathan: Well I feel like a judgemental asshole now. How did the first cycle start?

Marie: The explosion didn’t destroy the entire outer ring and as things began to cool down, the two sides were thrown into a locked synchronization. This time both sides were running in single phase with double the power. The first big bang (or as far as I can tell) happened when there was just a sea of hydrogen in the universe and unfolded like this.

  • 1hz - Hydrogen: proton, male, energy source: oscillation started. Day and night.
  • 2hz - Helium: The hydrogen sea became separated into a hydrogen / helium sea. Further duality “a firmament above and below”.
  • 3hz, 3.1n hz, 3.3n hz - Lithium: electrons / female / gravity / love - the surface tension of the ever expanding universe created by adding 1+2. N because it is always growing. The surface of the planet.  
  • 4hz - Beryllium: Perception of time. Things outside of ourself to measure cycles by. “Sun, moon, stars”
  • 5hz - Boron: Cumulative matter given "life" however it was only 1hz+4hz lacking the full understanding of a dual being.
  • 6hz, 6.6n hz - Carbon: a physical representation of the consciousness 2hz +4hz.
  • 7hz - Nitrogen: 1hz+3hz+4hz Male and female together with perception of time to give time to understanding of the benefit each other provide. Once they come together, a seed is planted and fertilized.
  • 8hz - Oxygen: An element created for a new universe to be formed with. When a cycle is completed, the 1hz + 7hz (the male wave continually activating the female wave, creating infinity baby universes) a parity bit to ensure correctness.
  • 9hz - Fluorine: Universal love when the two sides have come together and procreated.

Jonathan: Does it keep going on? I mean does each frequency expand on the ones before it with a new level of possibilities with every combination of frequencies?
Marie: Exactly!
Jonathan: Seems like a bit of a leap but I get where you are going. So this is the “7 days of creation?” Or is it 8...or 9???
Marie: It’s infinity on the order of 3.1n but a cycle of 9. The 9 realms of the Norse religion are actually a thing. Each cycle, a new realm is spawned inside a 9 realm universe. Once the 9 realms are created a new universe is spawned. Each realm has the cycle represented with 9 planets. Once 9 universes form, you presumably have a galaxy. If you look at the periodic table of elements, some of the 8th elements seem to correspond to creatures from supposed “sci-fi” or fantasy.
  • 1st realm: Hydrogen - Sentient carbon beings that breath helium and hydrogen, imbibe hydrogen, a mixture of liquid hydrogen and other elements flow as blood etc. (machines)
  • 2nd realm: Oxygen - The oxygen grabbed two hydrogen atoms and became water. Creatures that breathed air and drank water. (Dinosaurs)
  • 3rd realm: Sulpher - A very acrid, smelly and smoky planet. (Demons)
  • 4th realm: Chromium (apes)
I could keep going but I think you get the point. Why do you think a human footprint has been found next to a dinosaur foot print? Or the fossil of a transitional species? Because they left the planet when they were done and moved on. It’s just left over memories.

Jonathan noticed that the lines between things seemed to be blurring a little. The clock still read the same time as it had the last time he had looked.

Jonathan: So what caused the huge disparity between perception and reality?
Marie: The reason the perception of time is so off is because when the sides exploded, the two polarities became parallel instead of opposite. Not having the cooling effect of the other side, resistance skyrocketed. Time is like a current traveling down a wire. With no resistance, it flows unimpeded but add resistance and it is slowed down….This might be a better way to view it. You are running on a treadmill at the gym while looking at yourself in the mirror across the room. Though you are running towards the reflection, you are not getting any closer. Just like those mirrors in vehicles say “object in mirror are closer than they appear” you are actually right there but see yourself as far away. The closer we get to the reflection, the bigger it seems when in actuality we were inside it the entire time.

Jonathan: So this is all a reflection?
Marie: More of a hologram.  
Jonathan: What sets it right again? Can it be fixed? And if so what is the point of all this?
Marie: It’s been set right already but we are just slowly getting closer to realizing it as we grow in understanding of ourselves. Remember how I said that the peace symbol in the 70’s was missing it?
Jonathan: Yes.

Marie: That symbol came out at the rise of feminism. Women had had enough of the male driven world and rebelled. The symbol cuts the man out of the equation. Even if they didn’t realize it, that’s what the were doing. The problem is that while men caused all this shit to begin with, just as much as they need to understand the importance of women and respect them, women need to understand that a properly aligned man is a good thing.
Jonathan: So the devil was a guy?
Marie: Actually “god” was male energy. The story of Lucifer is a bait and switch. Lucifer is the woman energized by male energy creating light and sound. The “I’m going to be like god” was the male energy becoming jealous. After the dude fucked everything up, he switched up the story but as you notice, nearly every religion treats women and darker people as inferior. The men on each side saw light and thought it was what they wanted to attain to not realizing that they looked dark to the inhabitants on the other side. Because the anti-matter is complete darkness, good darkness became feared and instead of embracing the other side, we tried to make everything white and bright.

Jonathan: That’s the genesis of sexism and racism?
Marie: It’s why religion is one of the worst poisons in the all of history. Thankfully science has chipped away at the lunacy of religion and the fear that it breeds. The internet has also done wonders to help people come together. It’s shown struggles that are real in humans who only want to be accepted and loved - they’re just like us.

Jonathan: So if there isn’t a god, then where did all this matter come from?
Marie: Is it really any harder to believe that there was always a god who could magically make things appear vs a sea of protons, electrons and neutrons bumping around for eternity?

Jonathan: I guess it really doesn’t matter. The latter definitely makes more sense.
Jonathan: I much prefer this type of communication. What do you call it? ESP? It's more....calm and peaceful. I know exactly what you mean with absolute certainty. There's no guessing at context or motive.
Marie: Yes it is. Living life confined to guessing and analyzing is a lot of work. Language was developed as a way of trying to express what our being was feeling so as to reconnect. Without language, violence is one of the few ways to communicate but violence makes the female energy inside us feel bad. Logic developed out of trying to simulate the yin-yang but in a all or nothing manner. When the universe is balanced there is no need for language or logic. Analog signals cannot be encrypted, just detected and understood. They can be obscured with other noise but the quantum world is pure honesty and love. Our brains are fighting against each other instead of flip-flopping working together. I tried to fix things with Jesus but with an incomplete knowledge since I was rejecting my femininity. After seeing how much worse that made things, I realized that I still didn't understand and my helping was only hurting.

Jonathan: What do we do to fix it?
Marie: This conversation is part of it. We are all putting pieces together till we understand across the globe. Once we evolve and birth the new universe, the cycle will be completed and as we pass through the end of the funnel, gravity will rip us down to the bare energy of electrons, protons, and neutrons as “the elements melt with fervent heat” as we are reborn as beings of light or a closer iteration. Have you ever looked at DNA?

Jonathan: Yeah, I’ve seen it...wait, two twisty things. Are they perchance reverse polarity?
Marie: Bingo. Each strand has a positive and negative or as scientists refer to them 3’ and 5’. The other strand has the same 3’ and 5’ ends but they are flipped from their partner. This is how the strands connect with other strand of DNA. It is also a data system where if you only received one side of the wave, you should be able to still replicate the data. Picture it as a film strip with most of the picture information cut out. It’s slowly being filled in till we see who we actually are. Did you know that we all start out female in the womb? There are three separate chromosomes that if triggered can produce a male.

Jonathan: You really don’t seem to like men very much but I can’t blame you too much for that. It is however, kind of hard to listen to all this as a human with a penis. I mean I don’t feel like a woman but I certainly care and feel for you all.

Marie: I’m sorry, I don’t mean to beat you down. When I say male and female, I’m talking about the characteristics not the actual gender. You can have a female that acts like a dickhead man and a man that acts like a sniveling bitch. Males have that power that pushes everything forward and keeps the ball rolling - the heart beat. The female energy is the brain - love, compassion, loyalty of a mother coupled with the passion and beauty of a lover. That is what resides in the female energy - the mind, will and emotions. The smartest, most stubborn, amazing creatures in the world have been women. Like I said, we all start off as females in the womb. There are 3 sets of chromosomes that even if triggered independently, will result in a male. We all both sides in us, but we just don’t recognize it.

Jonathan: So what is the point of all this? My brain is a quantum computer that is hobbled? What’s the calculation it’s performing? Am I lacking because I am the dumb man / heart?
Marie: No! Definitely not! Did you know that the heart actually has a neural interface of it’s own? Each side, male and female is intelligent but are they doing their job properly? We are part of a universal organic, living, feeling computer always asking "is love powerful enough to answer "9" every time?" Your heart is the power source optimally oscillating at one cycle per second or 60BPM. Blood is the conduit for the protons powering our brains. The spinal cord and spine are an antenna to the our bodies and the universe. If our right and left hemisphere were helping each other out, anything would be possible.

Jonathan: Ahh “the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked above all things”. Makes sense...So there isn’t a heaven and a hell then is there?
Marie: Heaven is when the universe is in balance. Hell is being kicked out into the anti-matter darkness because a particle refused to accept love. There will always be another chance for that particle though as another universe will ingest it and give it a shot. Some beings get it and transcend part way through the cycle but it’s rare. Most don’t get it till the end and some never do. When everything is reduced, only the anti-matter is ejected by the high pressure stream at the end of “time”.
Jonathan: That's such a relief! Nothing is ever hopeless then is it? We always have a chance to be part of the beauty.

Hope and peace exploded in Jonathan's being like he was floating gently in a warm sea. Immersed but not drowning. There was no more having to struggle because it would always work out eventually.

Jonathan: How do we fix it?
Marie: Put this conversation on your blog. People will get it when the time is right. One more thing, they also need to know that the way we perceive our lives based on what we see alters our reality. When you observe a quantum particle, it changes it just as when you look for offense you find it. You know the guy that is always offended or person who is always having good stuff happen to them? People who have a positive outlook generally find good things in life (I’m not talking about those born with a silver spoon nor am I talking about being delusional, but having hope). Believe in yourself, that you are amazing and worth love and goodness. No one can take that from you unless you let them.

When he looked at the screen Jonathan found that everything was already typed and ready to go. Clicking post the story was broadcast out on every frequency throughout the universe. Marie watched smiling.

Jonathan: I feel like we’ve been talking for hours but the clock still reads 2:11 here. I guess I should get some sleep but I’d love to talk more. Can we do this again?
Marie: The thing is that we aren’t really meant to sleep. The universe and our brains are a perfect setup that constantly rests both halves while they work. It’s amazing. Night time should be for spiritual things like meditating, playing music, things for yourself. The day is for everyone else, time to get shit done.
Jonathan: One last question: if the universe is infinite, then how come we can measure parts of it?
Marie: An infinite room can never appear more infinite. As something that is always expanding the circumference cannot be measured. However, you can still measure a specific radius if you get "ahead of the curve".
Jonathan: huh!
Marie: huh! Is right. Hey, try building this.

Marie downloaded a schematic into Jonathan’s brain as it’s components appeared before him.

Jonathan: Okay, it’s done. What does it do?
Marie: I’m not positive but just in case it disconnects us, I’m glad and honored to have met you.
Jonathan: Thank you for finding me. You are quite wonderful and I hope we can meet someday.
Marie: Thank you! I hope so as well.
Jonathan: Well bye for now.
Marie: Bye.

As Jonathan turned on the device he felt everything begin to open up like infinite passageways that he could instantly pass through if he so chose. As he stepped into one path, he found Marie was already there waiting on the other side. Smiling, beautiful and strong, the other half of him...or them, physicality irrelevant, their energy held together by UP DOWN attraction. Swirling off together to indescribable places - celebrating new universes and galaxies, experiencing every constantly new facet, growing more in love - forever as the universe infinitely simultaneously tests and proves that love is > than all.


This story dropped into my head, title and all one day while I was pressure washing the deck around some rich persons pool in the middle of August. I started typing furiously and got the first 18,000 words out but knew I didn't have a completely clear vision. Serendipitously, my occupation changed and with that much of my time went away forcing some space to ruminate on it for a while. When I came back to it two years later, I had grown a lot in my own life and felt I understood what I needed to write better. Around this point I met the love of my life, the partner I had wanted and longed for my entire life. One night after I had begun writing again, my other half, Tiffany and I were sitting on our front porch smoking and looking at the stars, I told her about the story.

When I finished, she said it sounded really good and could possibly be a movie. I asked her to promise me that "if something happened to me you would finish it for me" and then I added "finish it as you see fit". That last part came out of left field and caught me off guard but as I thought about it, I realized that it was just part of the puzzle.  See I think I've written this book before - in a different iteration of my life. But it wasn't really fiction: Maybe I was writing the story of my other half's life. This was her story - our story. We just traveled as far back as we knew would get it and downloaded thoughts into the minds of our fetuses. I wasn't looking to write a story, I didn't even know if I could. I just wrote what I saw. Those two years the other parts were cloudy as I still was awakening. Suddenly, recently as my other half and I have become consumed in love, the rest broke open like a water balloon. The poem at the end of the book dropped into my head about 3 months before I had this story reemerge as if it was priming the pump. I have revised one line as I understood better so as to not claim perfection.

I don’t know when we will reach the point where we can be free to travel through the universe at the speed of thought, but I hope it’s in my lifetime. Who knows, maybe when we die, we get elevated and evolved to that next level automatically as our DNA and memories are repackaged. Regardless, one day I want to meet all the other beings in existence, learn about them, see their lands, taste their food, hear their music. Mostly though, I want to visit Asgard, shake hands with Thor and see if maybe I’m worthy to lift Mjolnir (or at least drag it across the floor).
The "God of the universe" is in every one of us.
For we are all part of one God.
Shards of a vast consciousness of emotion,
Seeking to discover the purest form of love.
It is what we all long for - to be loved.
Each universe created, a further evolution unfolds.
One life cycle teaching the next through the experiment called living.
Base instincts altered by past experience, coded into DNA and passed on.
Science killed God, then Science proved Love.
A cycle repeating till one day God learns to accepts:
It Self
Our Self
A Self growing more perfect as each shard loses focus on its own broken edges,
Accepting it is part of one organism,
One consciousness held together by gravity: Love.

(an excerpt from my blog)

A few minutes ago the word husband ran across my mind and then rang like a bell. Husband has become somewhat of a pejorative these days with the history of how shitty husbands have been for ages. I would imagine that it also seems to hold a bigoted connotation towards same sex couples. However, what does husband mean? The dictionary defines it as the man in a marriage but look at the synonyms: partner, consort, spouse, helpmeet.  Husbandman, that's what they used to call the folks who tended the field, vineyards in particular, to make sure they got what they needed to grow and be prosperous and benefit everyone.

Women are related to flowers many times because there isn't anything more beautiful in the world (next to a woman) than a thriving patch of flowers. They can all be the same like a field of daisies or they can be a variety growing in a tropical rainforest, all the colors melding together in a living piece of art. Women are beauty and should be treated as such. I've heard the idiom "tend to your own garden" in relation to guys keeping their dick in their pants and it's rather fitting. Guys should be nurturing women so that they can succeed because it's kind of our job. Another quote I've heard is "behind every great man is a great woman". That's fucked! I'm not saying there should be no great men; however, it should be "behind every great person is an equal but opposite great partner".

Don't get this twisted like I'm sure many guys boxers are reading this - women are not just flowers there to be beautiful for us to gawk at. They have brains and desires that continually are morphing the painting on the canvas because they are the canvas, they are the paint. Guys hold onto women because they are jealous and insecure. Jealous of the attention their partner is getting because they are afraid that it's going to take away some affection for them. Or maybe they have ambitions as well and are afraid that their partner will eclipse them. If you have found the right partner and struck the proper balance, you have no need to fear because you work together - it's a good fit. You do your best for your garden and accept what it provides back gratefully.

Part of working together requires good communication to know what is needed. This isn't to put all the responsibility on men. I say "guys" and "women" more as a way of thinking than the genitals you possess or sexual orientation you are flying. To be fair to the "guys", some plots of land are not workable but for the most part, the briar patch that has become our society is mostly due to guys being complete cocks - raping the ground for everything they can get both figuratively and literally.

That's enough of that - knock it off.

PS So as not to sound like I'm trying to define people into specific roles -  optimally, each person tending to their partner is the most ideal situation creating an environment for both to succeed. Many people however, lack the vision or self awareness to do anything but be the battery for someone else's dream which while not ideal, is better than being a selfish prick.