Saturday, January 30, 2016

Living As An Alien

I just finished a conversation with a buddy, who was once my boss at a job where I finally snapped under pressure and subconsciously-intentionally got myself fired. In the course of chatting I mentioned "so and so, I can't figure that dude out". "You took all our shit talking seriously didn't you" he asked. "Yeah" I said, "we weren't allowed to joke around as kids and nothing was good enough for my mother. Everything was serious."

"My dad told me, 'believe half of what you see, and less of what you hear' - that's how I grew up" he said. It finally hit me - life has felt so hard because I thought everything was real. 

I imagine when most kids break through the bubble (at whatever age it is that most children venture off to school) there's some discomfort but you adjust to the real world fairly quickly. For me it felt like someone stretched that bubble back like a rubber band and let it go about three years back. That motherfucker stung like a son-of-a-bitch! Life has felt so hard because of the perspective I was programmed with. Someone call Will Smith - I am an alien.

Talking to a color blind co-worker recently about his affliction, I though "I wonder how any of us know that what we see as blue looks the same as someone else's blue?" For the record, my blue is really fucking weird but I'm cool with that. I'm trying to adjust and understand that when other people say "purple" but the tone sounds like blue, it's probably actually orange. 

It's a crazy world that makes very little sense to me. We're all just quarks (or whatever is smaller than that) in the grand scheme of the entire universe(s), so keep painting away. I'm going to sit here and observe how you earthlings do things and try to figure out why I was sent to watch you. It's a mad, mad world. 


Saturday, January 9, 2016

The Usual Suspects

In the film The Usual Suspects, there is a line "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist." It's a great quote and has merit from a certain philosophical perspective. The other day a thought popped into my head "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that God is external". That of course is based on the presupposition that there is a devil - a supreme embodiment of evil, that pervades the universe. I for one don't believe in that concept; however, I also think there is merit to the premise that an external God is what has put us in this mess. 

Today, I randomly text my thought to a friend who responded with "the same goes for the devil being external" and then it clicked - it's all in us. There is no God other than consciousness which makes choices based on its nature. Ego is the projection of a consciousness accepting the lie in an effort to remove responsibility. When both God and or the Devil are external, personal responsibility is deflected at the price of impotence. God sanctions heinous acts while forgiving ones made from succumbing to the influence of the Devil. It's all so convenient - and stupid. 

Christianity is based on a doctrine of bankrupt humans who despite any attempts to be good by their own will never come close to clearing the balance. All forgiveness requires though  is the acceptance of a dogma that this God supposedly entrusted to a few people. Believe, and presto, golden ticket to eternal bliss. Every religious system preaching an external God is a means to disempower and control consciousness. Leaders are absolved of their destructive behaviors because "Jesus forgives. We're all flawed humans until that glorious day in heaven when we reap the benefits of what Jesus did on the cross". Followers propell themselves forward under this burden burning the present as fuel to reach a future hope. Heaven and Hell, God and Satan are all between your ears until you project them outward based on a belief in the lie that we are our egos.

We are not the compilation of all the things that have happened to us. Events only serve to reveal who we are if we choose to see past circumstances. Otherwise traumas and successes serve only as another layer of paint on the facade imprisoning us.