Saturday, August 27, 2016

I Am Groot (among other things)

After a really long, dull day of work I got home around 2:30 and threw on my Traditional Chinese Music Pandora station. Don't ask me why. While I was sitting there listening I had this feeling that if one were to dance to this song they would embody a tree. I could picture the branches and upper body, in fact I felt like I was doing a good job embodying it as I sat there swaying around, moving my arms about. Yes, you read it right - I was trying to be Groot in my car port. There was a lull of all the other weird activity on my corner so I figured it was my turn. How would the bottom half of a tree dance? I wondered. In my mind I pictured them being very light on their roots maintaining a very thin connection with the earth moving sprightly. 

So yeah, I decided to try that too. I had shut off the overhead motion light at least so I was mostly just a translucent shadow acting like a peculiar tree in the dark. I learned a few things rather quickly but that's the object of doing things outside your comfort zone. First, my balance sucks (or as least under present conditions). Second, my balance probably sucks because I'm trying to stay rooted in the ground. Third, dancing is all about being on your toes. 

Maybe it's just because of discovery number one, but it seemed that the movements that felt natural as I shifted from flat footed to that narrow connection of my toes, were really just a constant readiness for movement to keep me from falling. I've never been able to dance because I've taken everything in life too seriously, processing everything through this intense filter very much out of synch and out of touch with my body. Maybe that's why they say "life is a dance". You always have to be on your toes and willing to adapt and grow. That's where natural beauty (or at least freedom) comes from. These thoughts were peppering my heart so I sat down to write and all in good time. Shortly after I planted my ass back on the porch step, a car pulls up in front of my house and a woman hops out after a minute. The clunker pulls away and then she starts hollering after it but the driver doesn't stop. She then proceeds to bend over, leopard yoga pants stretched tightly under the street lamp on the corner and stays that way for a solid five minutes either scouring the pavement for something or just stretching. What I think was the same car finally pulled up, something and some words were exchanged and as they drive off she went back to bending over for another few minutes. That's when my roommate came practically screeching around the corner from work which possibly was the impetus for her sudden departure from the general vicinity. 

Now we are here. I've told you a short tale from my bizarre world. Life is pretty grand though when you step back from it all a bit and put things in proper perspective. Everything we see and hear has already happened before it reaches us so we are technically always living in the past. Our brain has to synchronize all kinds of signals moving at different speeds just so that we can categorize and define the world around us. Categorizing could also be called "judging". From an evolutionary perspective it would be due to survival instinct to categorize what is harmful and what isn't. But it goes deeper than that. 

When the brain is able to see patterns and recognize them it uses way less energy. In essence your brain judges as conservation of energy - it's quite ingenious really. I don't think it's bad to define things as long as it's with the understanding that everything has the potential for growth. A thought that hit me at work today is that I should always take people on a moment by moment basis. You don't have to worry about constantly looking for danger if you know who you are and know how to stand up for yourself as an adult. I'm still learning how to talk to someone as their equal regardless of their position or station in life - just as a human that is no better or worse. What I have seen though is that when you are okay with yourself, you don't need to get angry and act childish to stand up and have boundaries. Last time my kids came to visit I told the two middle ones to stop their incessant picking at each other or I would require them to sit on opposite ends of the couch. My son sat straight up and said somewhat incredulously "are you serious?" All I replied in a calm tone was "would you like to find out? You all are allowed to choose what you do but there may be consequences." He reacted by placing significant distance between him and his sister with a rather enthusiastic hop. Now for the record, I don't spank my kids (I'm not starting a debate on that because I really haven't put a ton of thought into it yet) nor do I yell at them. I don't believe in calling them names or allowing them to do it to others. Point being is that I don't lord over them but they also know that I mean what I say. You always have the power to make a choice but you have to be okay with the consequences. Many people are firmly rooted in what they believe treating any winds of change as an attack to knock you off balance. The status quo is always changing and you have to be fairly unattached to grow with it. When I first started this site, I wanted to run from the status quo because it seemed to awful. Our current state of affairs on this space ship still seems less that stellar in many ways but there is also an amazing beauty to life when you realize you choose your outlook on life. If there was only one quote I could ever tell anyone it would be "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can". That sums up how you navigate this life successfully. You catch yourself when you are falling and turn life into a wonderful dance. 

The past is past, you're only living in it if you are deeply rooted in your beliefs, or unbeliefs - see it's mostly we don't believe in ourselves, unbelief in you makes life living hell. Dance to whatever quirky rhythm the universe is pumping through you. Allow yourself to grow, change. Drop the judgments with which you've kept yourself chained - life will make "you you'er than you" when you start to love the only person that never leaves you - you. 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Free Parking

For the longest time as a kid, I thought you were supposed to put a $500 bill in the middle of the monopoly board (along with any other money paid to the bank) to be collected by whoever happens to land on Free Parking. One day I decided to read all of the rules and discovered that Free Parking is only supposed to be what the name implies - a spot where bad shit can't happen to you. After pointing it out a few times to others they would invariably respond with "house rules". Freelance away but just admit that you aren't playing Monopoly anymore. Unfortunately this is what nearly all people, particularly the religious, do when they try to assert their truth on the world. 

I have a huge issue with people who claim to follow a religion but have never read the entire "rule book" or even significant portions for that matter. There is shit in the bible that most "Christians" wouldn't believe unless you showed it to them at which point they will have to confront the fact that their religion is insane, or simply dismiss it with "well that was a different time and has to be taken in context". You're playing what you think is Monopoly but really is just a bastardized version that suits you. 

This morning I was considering the moral ramifications of eating animals. If you predicate your belief system on "God" putting humans above all the other creatures on this earth, then it allows you to feel no regrets as you do what makes you comfortable. The problem with this is that it's the same kind of logic that has been used against other humans such as blacks or Pygmies. I'm not saying that it is wrong to eat meat, because that's not my choice to make for you (as well as the fact that I haven't worked it out for myself yet). There are clearly numerous animals with intelligence and consciousness that parallels humans (elephants and dolphins just to list a couple) so what gives us any right to take their life because their flesh tastes "good"? Would you go shoot your neighbor and roast one of their legs for a BBQ? Maybe if you had been raised to believe that they were a lesser being than you say for having a darker complexion. What is the operating system of your life centered on?  

"My people perish for a lack of knowledge" is a direct quote from the bible but it's only partially accurate. We lack a lot of understanding and accurate knowledge in the world simply because most people stay in their bubble. If you don't have an innate curiosity and remain unchallenged in your beliefs, you will likely never change and grow. However, just knowing more information doesn't help if you choose to hold onto your current perspective, dismissing evidence because you comfortable living in your current belief system. Growth means change and change can be scary because it is an unknown. My life would be significantly different if I chose to quit eating meat or using disposable plastic to name a couple small things. Health issues with fast food aside, you can't really patronize any franchise in the US and not contribute to the immense waste and pollution caused by all the disposables like cups, straws, condiment packets, etc. Opening your mind requires a willingness to change but most people sadly just want to call "house rules" when the truth is laid out in front of them. 

If you want to know the truth, it's not that hard, you just have to look for it and be ready and willing to adjust your heart and mind. Check out this wonderful article by Carl Sagan on The Fine Art of Baloney Detection of you want to read further on this topic. 

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Life in Spades

Many analogies can be made revealing truth about life but like the parables Jesus told, you can't understand them unless you already know - "seeing but still blind", it's like having the answer without knowing the question. 42 degrees splits the invisible prismatically, you only see your truth while down on your knees - praying to a god of your personalized beliefs. 

Flicking together in a randomized shuffle, pieces of paper always different like a changing puzzle. Doled out by a dealer that's never the same, a wheel in the sky keeps forever rotating. Pick up your hand start sorting suits, noting ratios, books called before you - chew the data all up, call your bet / as you go with your gut informed by your head. All this before the first four cards hit the deck. 

 A few books pass, your plan's shot to shit - you were playing sudoku with only 13 blocks pre filled in. Review the updated data acquired - cards played, playing styles - then again with your gut the statistics filed. Are you and your teammate getting in synch? Picking up what they're putting down, before the ship sinks. Playing disconnected from the mate opposite your seat, is like every crew member rowing to a dissimilar beat. 

Ignore the messages communicated through reflection on action - you'll be drowning in the current while madly sandbagging. Spades used properly can dig you out of the hole, but just like life there's never any total control. The Universe unlike your partner, is a direct reflection of you, a macrocosom of the relative position and speed of everything in relation to how your position is viewed - by you  (processed through your mind that's been designed, and uniquely customized by the singularity of each waves encounters in time.) The heart beat of the universe that each person sees is a reflection of the one pulsing inside their own being. 

Free will is an illusion except where you choose, whether to follow your inscrutable heart and step out of your minds shoes / the only choice left is to follow your mind that's been programmed by subconscious environmental design. The brain can only judge based off of input it's received so how do you ever know if you're being brainwashed or deceived? We live in the mind to feel in control, "failing to plan, is planning to fail" - an admonition based in doubting your potential for growth.  Nothing needs to be viewed as "bad" or "good" it's just shit that's happened as you've been growing up. 

My mother always chastised when I acted in a way she didn't approve - "why did you do that? Think before you act (of what would my surroundings say I "should...") parentheses added after the fact. I didn't know it at that time, I was being programmed with someone else's perspective, a personal definition of the "indescribable God who defies comprehension". Irony aside, there's always a divide between the heart and shit that's been downloaded to the mind. One is the master, the other a tool, but only the mind fights hard trying to rule. 

Following your heart is something you cannot explain - most people run from it instead of facing pain. Rejection of something you can't find a reason to justify, you don't want to see disapproval of you in their eyes. No logic, just that twinge of a pull / from the distant gravity of a reality that feels more natural. Like a forest of trees, each one grows at its pace, not rushing the process or taking up too much space / gathering energy, expanding in accord with the whole of its ecosystem - sky ceiling to earth floor. It's in your DNA - your heart has the code - let it unpack, uncoil, begin to unfold / the double helix is what makes you be a part of this world. 

Existing tuned into the "natural you", step into the river let infinite consciousness flow right through. 
Lacking attachment to any outcome being fresh and brand new not judging things you've already done.
Continually experiencing the moment, the now - future transitions to past only semantically, variables narrowed as observed waveforms collapse down. 
An infinite universe reduced to zeros and ones, it's roughly an average an approximate sum. Is there free will if you're either programmed or receiving? 
"Where does the rhythm of life come from? What sets the hearts beating?" 

The question now known but the answer too grand, with infinite possibilities the best you can possibly understand - there's an infinity of what you don't know you don't know till you've been dealt that hand, had a go. Life is a journey without an end date, at birth someone shuffled, you got handed your fate. 
You're free to select the course you will chart, just plug in the Nav to the brain or your heart. Free will is the choice to rigidly plan or adjust on the fly as the situation demands. Thirteen assorted units, meaningless without you, the value of each determined by your point of view. 

3 billion plus or minus beats, then the deck gets reshuffled, switch up your seat. A new round starts, cards flick out, but you've learned something grown from the last few go 'rounds. Watch your reflections, what you see is you as the wheel in the sky keeps cycling through. 

Translation: There is a physical reality (the random cards you get dealt), but our experience is based on our perceptions of ourselves (how well you trust your ability to adjust and read the table determines how many books you will call. The reality of which books you win may be different than what you expected but if you can remain semi-fluid you will be fine). Life has ups and downs and can't be judged on the current moment. Eventually all things equal out so not to worry and besides, "winning" is irrelevant if you are having fun. 1st is only a mental construct based on the preconceived idea that you need to acquire a certain distinction (that a group you deem valid agreed upon) to achieve self acceptance and therefore happiness. You are always in control of how you feel about yourself. Have fun, play life in spades. (and no, there weren't five baskets of extra bread left over. How do you think croutons were invented?)

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Sinners In the Hands of An Angry God

My mother called me on the phone one night when I lived in LA
She said "Pack your things in the car and drive away" 
There was going to be an earthquake, or a forest fire, then riots would break out - she predicted God had had it with the sin, was done standing about. 
A precursor to the apocalypse, he's just rolling up his sleeves, about to get judging cause he can't stand what he sees. 
Last Sunday morning, for instance (just one small example), some WeHo dude loved his dude, the girl next door smoked weed to get high
(At the same time, though of no apparent concern, Reverand Bob in Texas gets a hummer from a teen just before his forgiven ass gets up to preach.)

I watched a forest fire in San Bernidino burning a giant cross, like a "fuck you" to all those who think this is God. 
It's asinine to think that your sins are fine, when you've committed the worst sin - forcing on others what you think is divine. 
You climbed on that throne, but by proxy of course - you've been deputized to rule by the "only real, only true, immortal" invisible force. 
I won't take your word for it, I'm not sorry to say, no matter what you profess some book proclaims. 
Infallible? Ha! You're making me laugh, it's the federal reserve of spiritual land. Printing its strength through circular reasoning on a paper thin backing of fear and hate mongering.  
Only as strong as you believe it to be, shit currency only valued by self delusional fiends. 

Forests don't burn because of who someone loves - it's because we've tried to make the earth something it wasn't. 
We haven't loved the thing that's not just our home, she's where we came from - our mother, millions of years in our births throws. 

As soon as we were born we crawled away, thought we were more special somehow, some way. 
Enacted our will over "subordinate" beings, ravished the earth, chopped down the trees. 
Islands of plastic now float in rising seas, we've recorded the hottest July, recorded history has ever seen. 

Fuck yeah it's our sins that are causing these disasters - consumerism, greed, war, religion, to name a few of the bastards. 
There were civilizations before smarter than us, but eventually they've all gone belly up. 
My mom taught me it was from moral decay, now I'm inclined to think, like bad code, the universe debugged them away. 

The system is way bigger than you or I can imagine - it will always find balance no matter what happens. 
All that shit that you pine for - sometimes grovel to get, can't make you love the universe's reflection of the you, you project. 
What's inside will come out no matter how you cover up, even with Maybelline, you're properly fucked. 
Our lives are so short we don't care if it matters, "let another generation deal with the aftermath of our egoic disaster". 
As long as we don't have to face our choice in the matter, defer payment forward while blaming those we came after. 

If you're offended by me saying things like "fuck" or "religion is bullshit" but you'll blame a woman's wardrobe "she got what was coming dressed as a slut"  - then you've passed the test as a pathological self hating schmuck. 
Your priorities are out of whack, you're just whacking off / but it's inside your head as you congratulate yourself on pleasing God. 

Heaven or Hell is where you currently live, it's not some future place you will go and spend eternity in. 
Are you stoking our quenching, the choice is yours, we're all on the same ship each soul at an oar,
This rock hurtles through space, empty and vast, were a fraction of a fraction divided in half,
So ridiculously tiny but we think we know it all - funny, I think it was the bible that said "pride comes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall..."

Monday, August 15, 2016

You Should Go and Love Yourself

I think the Biebs meant that line in a less than charitable connotation; however, the point is actually valid - if someone is unhappy it's because they don't love themselves. Talking to a friend today I flashed back 12 years to a "counseling" session my ex-wife and I went to. We had only been married about 7 months and I was at my wits end. All the things that she couldn't deal with (mostly due to her choice of perspective) became my fault somehow and I felt like I was back in childhood. If we didn't have a baby already on the way we would have split but felt like we had to somehow make things work. 

The counsellors were licensed but also Christian and also a couple themselves to boot. Not too far into the session they turned to me and said "she may have problems but as the man (the "biblical head of the home") I was responsible for what happened. If I loved her "like Christ loved the church" it would solve the issues."  Christians preach "love conquers all sins" because it's in the bible but also because it's an easy way to put responsibility on someone else.

If love conquers all sins then you wouldn't "have to believe in Jesus, accept him in your heart and confess that he is lord" to be "redeemed". What the individual does shouldn't matter because love trumps your own ability and responsibility to choose (apparently). What we have here is a giant contradiction. You can give all the love you want to someone but if they choose not to receive it then it doesn't matter. These "counselors" heaped on more of the same bullshit I was raised under and I accepted it because it was the only tune I knew at the time. 

Marriage is a beautiful idea however, it's predominant purpose is to create security and stability for the human mind that is fearful of an uncertain future. A reasonable analysis of many old school "morals" ends up revealing a mindset of control fueling the societal subconscious. Those at the top of the pile (usually men) want to be comfortable and invent ways to keep the goods coming to in. You could throw out the entire bible if you just lived by the "do unto others as you would have them do to you" axiom. It says "love your neighbor as you love yourself". Not more. Not less. I was taught that JOY stood for - Jesus, Others, Yourself. That's a great way to fuck up your life, putting yourself at the bottom of the pile. Everyone else doesn't have to live your life and therefore will probably not understand why you do what you do. So why worry about what other people don't understand? If a parent needed their child to understand everything before taking actions, they wouldn't do much and the child would probably die. Life is about growth which requires taking in things you don't understand and sitting with them till one day you do. No one is responsible for making another person feel loved but unfortunately most parents beget offspring to feel complete themselves which only further perpetuates the cycle. 

A preacher I heard years ago said that people cohabit instead of getting married because they are using their ability to leave at any point as a means of controlling the other person's behavior. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but holding someone against their will for your own sake is not love. Marriage is a great way to assuage one of the many fears people who don't love themselves face - being alone. Though long standing things can be very beautiful (like a mountain or an old couple who still love each other after fifty years), nothing lasts forever. Enjoying what is while loving yourself is about as close as you can come to a recipe for success. I grew up with many numbered lists of principles for how to have a good life but it completely sucked any vibrancy out of it. Life is always changing, you just have to go with it and stop trying to hedge yourself in with formulas and rules. 

 "The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao". 

Sunday, August 7, 2016

What Is Suicide?

There is of course the dictionary definition "the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally - but I find that leaves out the core of the concept. I heard a comedian (possibly Marc Maron) say once "I like to think about committing suicide. Not because I want to but because it's relaxing". He's not being cavalier - it's just honesty. Suicide is about one thing - control. 

Human nature wants to feel in control of our life. Most of modern society is built upon strategies for feeling in control of your own life whether it be through financial or education investments, insurance, "having a plan", etc. The idea is to make as much distance between yourself and your worst fears because you don't think you could handle life if they came to pass. It's rooted in a lack of confidence in your ability to survive alone because you aren't good enough for yourself and need someone else's feedback. What would you do if you one day woke up and discovered yourself alone on the planet? Would the things that drove you before still be the same? I've found it helpful to put myself in these and other hypothetical situations to get to a point of understanding that I don't have to analyze them all anymore. All the analysis told me was that I could choose to do anything I wanted to  but it's my motivation that was all that might change.

People who keep suicide in their rolodex of control strategies are doing so because it helps them feel that no matter what happens they have a trump card. It's really an attempt to tell life to "go fuck itself" because you had the final say. Those who maintain the card and finally reach for it have ultimately believed that it is their last option - last option that is before they have to face the fact that they are what they feared. Bankers who commit suicide in economic downturns can't bear the thought of losing all that they have put their self worth into - i.e. being a "failure". There is of course the matter of those choosing to end their lives to escape what they believe is about to befall them - capture by the enemy, indictment by the SEC, serving time in prison, living in poverty the rest of your life, to name a few. 

Suicide is also attributed to careers. "She just committed career suicide publishing that article..." Sometimes people want to walk away from a situation but feel stuck for due to self doubt. The individual knows there will be societal pressure from a number of directions and it's exhausting to weather. Here is a sample - "You quit your job? Whatever are you going to do? This is a terrible economy to be job hunting in. Hope you've got a good plan worked out because I wouldn't want to be in your shoes." Their lack of personal confidence would be projected on you and you doubt yourself even more. Eventually there has to be a reckoning and if not handled properly will result in an extreme action to make sure you once and for all decide. The anger has helped you work up the courage to move on but it's also put you a little over the top because you aren't 100% sure in your decision but you are tired of wavering. It's the equivalent of the generals that supposedly burnt their ships upon on the enemy's shore to give their men no option but victory. 

If you are contemplating suicide of any kind it's time to realize there are always options and are no matter what the environment, you are alway in control of your feelings and thoughts. If you just think about it for a second and stop blaming other people you'll realize it's true - you have that power. For all the love you feel lacking towards you in the world, attaining it will never overcome the lack of love you have towards yourself. When you don't love yourself, true love can even be perceived as something twisted because you believe it's what you deserve. Are you trying to "fix yourself" because you feel like there is a better state to be? Or are you just allowing yourself to grow?

A young adult tree blaming itself for growing in a funky shape due to being wrapped around a form as a sapling would be absurd. It could expend energy trying to "make itself normal" upon leaving the nursery trying to grow like the trees in it's new environment, or it could get on with growing. The state you are in when you realize being you is okay and take hold of the power to grow - that is where you start accepting yourself and actually living life. Each day consciously making choices and growing sounds a lot better than swelling into a gnarled blob of branches twisted in on themselves trying to hide or rewrite the past. I heard yesterday that the Chinese don't become angry or fret when an ancient family heirloom such as a porcelain bowl is accidentally broken. Instead they use gold glue to put all the pieces back together (if possible) or make something new out of it entirely. Sometimes life smashes you in the face because it sees what you could be with a few pieces rearranged.

Thunder and Lightning: Maybe Not So Frightening?

A thunderstorm just rolled by my neighborhood. The residual rumbles can still be heard and it continues to rain though the torrential nature of the storm has let up considerably. I've always loved storms and smiled some when a lightening bolt ripped to the ground around the corner so close you could hear the crack of electricity in the bolt to be immediately followed by an earth shaking clap of thunder. Enjoying this display of nature the following thought floated through my mind: what if the earth is conscious (or a reflection of the consciousness on this planet) and it's actually emoting constantly in what we call "weather patterns". 

It seems like a ludicrous thought because we have considered the earth to be an object of scientific examination. It's like using a live human to learn about how the body functions but believing it is actually inert. You have to be an idiot to not accept that our actions on this planet do have effects and many of them are quite drastic. Is it so far a stretch to think that we have been treating something as an object unwittingly? People talk about Native American graveyards and such things being haunted. Could it be that maybe the earth actually had emotions and is saddened by humanities blindness and repetition of the same atrocities? 

You might argue that things like rain are just how this rock functions because that's what we've observed and can't possibly imagine it working any other way. This is about as ignorant as denouncing the concept of the telephone because at that moment it was something no one had a context for. It's understandable, but highly unimaginative - destined to only retard growth and therefor happiness. 

Target - A Bullseye on Sociopathy

This afternoon my other half and I went a shopping at the local Target because we needed some clothes on a budget and" hey, it's not Walmart". Right? Somehow it seems there is a general consensus that Target is a place you can shop without feeling like you're taking advantage of someone - unlike the great evil Walmart. After my experience in a Target store today I am going to avoid the place as much as possible. I haven't been to a Walmart in a while so the store climate may be on par with Target but based off my latest experiences with both stores, Walmart has a slight leg up.

You're probably thinking "what the hell is he talking about?" So I'll get straight to the point - it's the goddamn walkies and general attitude of the shoppers. While my lady was trying on some clothes I observed a couple employees engaged in constant activity finding the correct hangers for items, retagging things, etc and returning them to the rack. Despite the feverish activity, the mountain of clothes yet to be dealt steadily grew, as customer after customer, deposited the items they didn't want - "because that's what these people are paid to do right? They should be grateful to have a job at all." That's the general mentality of at least half of America. I was taught that you didn't need to create more work for someone just because it was their job. That's just one guy's opinion because I don't much care to be waited on hand and foot and if I am, I want the person to be well compensated. 

This whole time I was standing next to a shopping cart filled with items to be returned to the shelves  listening to the incessant chatter on the "open" walkie. In my current profession I am required to wear a walkie all day with a headset to receive orders from the boss. It can be extremely draining to pay attention to all of the voices on your channel making sure they aren't talking to you. Side thought: I think that's probably the best evidence for why we all can't read each other's minds - we choose not to because it would be too taxing. Back to the walkie chatter in a minute.

With corporations being considered "people" now, some argue that "corporations are sociopaths". A sociopath is a person who has "no conscience, sense of remorse, or ability to feel empathy with another human". Another way of putting it could be - sociopaths are simply people utilizing one-way communication services and the receiver is shut off or damaged. This is where the walkies come into play. A walkie is simplex i.e. one way flow at all times. When you have access to blast how you feel out to the entire world and be able to disable the return feed or get out of synch with it - that's what creates internet bullies and the like. Empathy is a feedback loop to keep things on point and not all askew. One-way devices (a bulletin board, mass emails, group texts, etc) allow an individual to give orders without having to be physically present with those they are throwing their perspective and expectations on. This is important because as a boss, not having all of the information can lead to assumptions being made. When shit invariably "goes sideways" and the boss gets increasingly more frustrated, they will take it out on the employees because the general manager is probably listening to this go on up from his office or will hear about it later, probably lacking many germane details.

We've achieved layers of detachment in modern society because we've become accustomed to one way communication due to staring at televisions for hours a day or getting all or information from a newspapers, magazines, you name it. There's nothing wrong with these inventions but you need to be conscious of whether or not it is informing you or forming you. Real living in the moment requires a constant back and forth of you acting naturally while picking up the feedback only as information to continue growing.  Everyone has core beliefs but most are unaware they exist, thinking that the way they see the world is how it actually is. 

Your world is formed by your beliefs and you can easily prove it to yourself. "There is no such thing as failure". That is a bold statement which many people will rebut with "that's bullshit. I see failure all the time". What is failure? Something not measuring up to someone else's standards. So then why do you care about the other person's standards? Ultimately if you travel down the rabbit hole you arrive at "I care what these people think because I think, I need them, to survive in the world. Therefore I must subject myself to their perspective and judgement." Ironically, "their perspective" is actually your perspective because without you believing it to be true, you wouldn't be chained to "their perspective". You don't believe in yourself and you are the only one that can change that. The exciting thing is it's simply a choice.

Knowing that you choose how you feel and respond to things due to what you believe about yourself changes things. However, having a walkie going off at any time, many times exuding stress, is a very difficult place to learn to be present and step away from your engrained belief system. The "big crisis" I witnessed as we approached the rear of the store was a quick team meeting at the fitting station. The themes seemed to be "people not picking up on their walkies" and "who was going to go take care of the customer who had rung the bell in housewares???" Rung the bell... Seems just like the aristocrats ringing a little bell for the servants to come attending back in the old days. Now it's just a button you press under an inviting sign that says something like "need help? An associate will assist you shortly". The customer hears nothing, feels nothing except maybe impatience that someone hasn't appeared like a genie to help them. For it's part, the button sets off an alert over the walkies, which if not answered in an insanely fast amount of time, triggers the alarm (aka floor manager) to start bitching on the radio. 

Everyone knows this is how revolutions start right? I'm not advocating for violence at all but history has show it's the natural course of events that humanity has taken repeatedly when oppressed. Instead why not have a revolution of thought at the top and effect change, avoiding the inevitable upheaval in the future if the status quo is left unchecked. The "problem" could be pegged entirely on the signals being sent out by the more massive object (corporations, governments, et). In physics, boundary behavior is a a fascinating topic. If two strings of differing mass are joined and a wave is introduced from the more massive end, it will travel through the smaller rope with the same polarity (a small amount of same polarity energy being reflected in the larger rope). Now flip the source to the smaller rope and you see a smaller amplitude same polarity wave pass through the larger rope (a reverse polarity wave being reflected through the smaller rope). *(There is also a change in wavelength respective to each pairing but I'm not interested in that at the moment.) When you are the "little guy" it seems that no matter how hard you try to fight back against the system, it always seems to return the opposite back. This leads to defeatism because the idea that blame lies in the system has truth in it if you choose to be attached to the system. As I said at the top of this paragraph, "the problem could be pegged entirely..." because a change at the rudder effects the course of the entire ship and it's crew but ultimately you still choose what actions you take on the ship.

This whole time I've been advocating for empathy and railing against the sociopathic nature but step with me over to one more physics demonstration. Let's suppose you have a rope (size is irrelevant) attached to a ring that can slide freely up and down a pole. If motion is induced in the free end of the rope, a wave will travel down the rope and be reflected with a similar amplitude, wavelength and polarity as the original. If you take the spiritualist teachings of "unattachment to outcomes" you are severing a direct connection with all the more massive objects around you (otherwise known as your belief systems). The problem lies in each one of us believing heavily in our need for attachment to this world and they way we were raised "it should go". What do you then believe if you have been "programmed" (which is just a fancy way of saying "growing up" without knowledge of your power to choose)? What is truth? The prescription is: be unattached to outcomes and live naturally. But won't you do something evil? I was taught that what I wanted was probably evil so I had to have a reason for everything I did even if it was as simple as cracking a stick on a tree in the woods so I would know if I was about to do something "wrong". 

The answer is simple - when you are unattached to the outcome of your actions you are no longer trying to feed your ego. The ego is based on a core belief that in some way you are lacking and not good enough. Think about the people you have met both with immense ego and those with seemingly no ego at all. Big egos are uncomfortable to be around (if you are still living out of your own ego) because they are smothering. It's like being around a big fire that's eating up all the oxygen in the room. Egos take from others to survive and I would venture : Ego is survival instinct. Unattachment on the other hand allows you to live the actions your "truth" is leading you into, without the need to be sustained externally. If you don't need things from others that they aren't willingly giving, then you don't feel the need and desire to steal because you are still content with you. Taking what isn't yours is really the basis for "evil" in the world. The core belief being "I'm not good enough because - someone says so, for some reason (and I don't want to admit it's actually me because then I would have to take responsibility and I don't know how)  but xyz could make me enough". 

It sounds like I've flipped my script and said we should all be "kind sociopaths" which sounds oxymoronic at best. You can never be completely disconnected from life because, well, you live here with all the rest of us. The rope with the ring that represents unattachment, is still restrained by the environment i.e. the ring i.e. your life, while the pole represents the world system. The pole will move and change throughout time providing some feedback to you and this is how you adjust your actions. You still have empathy but with the level on the feedback loop significantly attenuated because you are receiving distant signals instead of being plugged in directly. People who have been wounded deeply and at an early age generally flip to one side or the other: receive all the signals they can to avoid pain in the future or shut off all the signals and pretend that everything is fine. Your "main frequency" or who you are - the clock signal that runs things, doesn't need much help to keep steady. When a feedback signal is too loud you get a painful oscillation like when a microphone is placed too close to a speaker. 

There are some scientists who believe that schizophrenics are just suffering from their body over producing DMT causing them to essentially be on a constant trip. They are the most hyper-aware people you've ever met - aware to things you didn't even know existed. That isn't to say what they see or hear is actually there, but more that they are interpreting real signals in the only context they know how and that context is based off of internal pain which can morph and warp "reality" severely. The rest of us are no different, we just aren't overwhelmed by stimuli. We choose what we believe and don't even realize it most of the time. It just "feels true". Stop allowing yourself to be miserable by getting distance from feedback sources that you have accepted as true. Be unattached to outcomes and start listening to your heart. Ultimately you'll find that if you change your belief about yourself, other things will change as well. Your "desires" will transform because you don't have to do a lot of what you did before to prove things to yourself by proving it to others. You will be free even to "fail" because you don't view things as failures anymore as long as you learn and grow from them. When you allow yourself to fail in other people's eyes, you are really allowing yourself to succeed because you've pulled up anchor and are learning to handle the helm. Eventually you'll get it headed in the direction that is fitting.

Everyone is responsible for their own lives and happiness but it sure would be nice if some CEOs and politicians would take responsibility and begin making the environment to grow a little friendlier. Right now it's like trying to grow your garden in dusty soil that has been destroyed through over farming. We cannot keep talking about building the economy and providing more jobs as if that is going to make people happy. It's not happiness, it's placation and it's what you do to control people. Whether it's intentional or not only matters if you are waiting for the "system" to take the first step. You choose how you feel every moment so why not choose life and happiness? Maybe eventually you could be a CEO but this time one that has an appropriate amount of empathy, raising the tide that will lift all boats.

Target: I don't know if this will ever reach your ears/eyes but if you really care about your employees you need to stop this idea that they are just robots performing a task while waiting for a different command to come through the system. They are humans and the effect of the communication system in place is palpable. I heard a couple employees make off handed sarcastic comments about what was being said over the walkie because it's the only way to blow off steam. You've created an environment of unhappiness in your store which I plan to avoid. I deal with a similar environment at times in my profession and I can tell you it's not pleasant or conducive to retaining employees unless they feel it's their only option (which is sad because it's only $10/hr or so). If you want to have a posse of unhappy robots running your stores because it drives up profitability in the short term, have at it but just let us known. At least then we can quit pretending that any of these mega stores are better than the other.
A Status Quo Fugitive

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The Only Inalienable Right

Everyone has a different opinion of what their rights should be vs what other's rights should be. We want to decide what another can choose because of how we perceive it effecting us. In essense we are playing god, most of the time claiming we are just "repeating what actual God has said". If you're sitting in the throne giving orders doesn't that make you king? For all anyone knows you've disposed of the "real" king after the whole "I'm going away for a bit, see after the country for me" ceremony and he never returns. By declaring what other people can and cannot do, we try to take away their ability to choose. The irony is that you can never take away someone's ability for choice. No matter what you do to a person, they always have a choice - either acquiesce because to escape the consequences or accept whatever may come and do as you will. Either way you slice it you are making a choice. If someone had a gun to your head and commanded you to do something normally against your "morals" you choosing whether or not to comply is you choosing to sacrifice what you believe in for the potential of survival. 

Choice is your only inalienable human right. Unfortunately nearly everyone has some amount of personal choice purposefully taken away at a young age and never returned. Lack of personal power and responsibility has created an epidemic of grown people congratulating ourselves for "adulting" because truth be told - we don't have a fucking clue what's going on. I realized the other day how little I know about financial issues like loans, or handling conflicts with people in the real world because I had much of my information filtered as a child. The same people that shelter their children thereby decisively removing many choices will argue against abortion because they claim god says "you don't get that choice". Side bar: I'm not arguing for abortion here, in fact I think it's a very sad thing for a woman to go through (as is a mastectomy or hysterectomy) but I also cannot support the removal of someones choice regarding their own body. I know if any religious persons read this they will be angered, maybe grieved, possibly reviled - but I think I can show you from the very book you claim allows you to tell other people what to do - that you believe, is a contradiction.

Abortion is never mentioned in the Bible however there is mention of the "abomination of child sacrifice" done by the "heathen nations" which I believe some people cite in argument against the "pro choice movement". The Ten Commandments state not to murder yet other edicts from this same god sanctioned the wiping out of entire clans including children. The Law even provides for the stoning of children who have rebelled against their parents (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). One of the criteria "our son is a drunkard". I highly doubt we're  talking about anyone under 12 years old. Sounds like a really really late term abortion. Finally, there is a very specific law that states 22If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine23And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, 24Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. (Exodus chapter 21) Translation: if little homie pitches his tent in the after-life but mama is cool, the jerkoff who caused the camping trip has to cough up some bread to the sperm donor - otherwise life for life. Your modern interpretation of the god of the bible is inaccurate but still just as whacky as what the thing actually says. 

When you insist that people mutilate part of their child without their consent, it's to convey "You can never be what you want to be because we marked you. You're always going to be one of us so you better get used to it". "We own you and BTW, we can kill you." In the case of genital mutilation: "you shouldn't enjoy something your body comes from the factory made to do." It was a clever way to manipulate people to stick together because having a larger group than the other guy (who believed some equally whacky shit) seemed necessary for survival back then. Manipulation works because kids have their power to choose taken away in some area and they believe it's gone for good. Thankfully this is all an illusion and is why I say choice is your only inalienable human right. You can suppress people all you want but you can never stop someone from intuitively discovering their own power.

If you consider the litany of "human rights" being fought for around the world, it's safe to say most are based on people being able to have a right to personal choices. The caveat in all this being - your choice should not take away someone else's choices unless that is the just result of their choice eg - murder. Does your perception of what you are owed in life at all demand things from other people beyond them not taking away your right to choose? If so then you are probably worshiping at the shrine of some other savior who is never coming. The Bible says "work out your own salvation". You can only be responsible for your choices. Oddly, once you realize you have the power to do anything you want accepting whatever happens, you realize you can act spontaneously without being rash and feel calm and empowered. Now becomes okay because when the switch flips your source of personal power is connected and there is nothing to fear. 

I would highly recommend reading the book Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. It details unhealthy thought patterns many of us were programmed with in childhood. A brief synopsis: our mental health and happiness are all rooted in different ways power and / or security were taken away before there was any context for life. These experiences actually create the context for your life and populate the thoughts of your subconscious. The fantastic things is that you get to choose how you feel about what comes through your mind. Ask yourself "why do I care what so and so thinks?" Maybe it's because you feel poorly about yourself and someone else's disapproval  seemingly confirming your self-hatred. If you aren't happy with who you are then change. Don't say "I can't", be honest and say "I choose not to" and see how long you keep that up before having to admit to yourself that you are choosing to be lazy or...chose to do that thing....and be happy. You're the only one that has to be with you the entirety of your life so you had better like who you are. 

Arguing here for the freedom of choice probably sounds like I want society to be a giant free-for-all but that's not really an issue. If people actually lived in the present moment, not spending all their time and energy worrying or feeling guilty, angry, sad you name it - you would see a lot more people respecting each other. When you are free from other's opinions regarding who you are and choose to  love yourself, there is no need to cause harm to another (unless in self-defense) because you don't need anything from them. Everything is on a basis of mutual consent. You can holler all you want that you have a right to not be a victim of fraud for instance, but that's about as senseless as saying you have a right not to get hit by a meteor. Shit happens in life. It's how you deal with it that defines your future. The more people who realize that they are choosing their own misery, would realize that it's not so bad or hopeless and we would take care of the truly miserable - the starving, the orphan etc. Basically the stuff Jesus talked about but without all the "I am the only way" hocus pocus. You choose your course each moment based off of what you value most. We are constantly saying "yes" to something while simultaneously saying "no" to everything else based what we value most. It's about time for us to start valuing ourselves and use our power to choose. You're sitting in that throne whether you know it / like it or not. Wake up from the stupor, wear the crown and rule yourself.